What a Broken Heart Can Bear
by AWluvvbug
Summary: **NEW NEW NEW Chapter 8** No your eyes don't decieve you I actually updated. The split realities continue...it's amazing what one little decision can have on life. After the events of Borrowed Time Adriann comes back to help.
1. A Promise Made is a Promise Kept

**PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!!!**

Important Background Information and Ramblings

OK, so as I'm sure a good majority of you did I watched 'Borrowed Time' and wanted to reach inside the TV and take care of all the little problems and interruptions myself so Max and Logan could have some "alone time" – if you will. But as we all know that couldn't ever happen. So, I figured why not deal with the issues that I can and be happy with that. So I decided to write another fan fic, in hopes of making myself feel better. 

And then there's the fact that I miss Adriann. Yes you heard correctly, I miss Adriann and I decided to bring her back. Now, for all of you who are thinking that this is a sequel to 'Adriann', sorry it's not. She just happens to be in the story. The girl is probably the best creation my little mind has ever come up with and I got to be, well, a bit attached to her. So as I said she's back! 

Only this time things are a bit different. – The basic events of 'Adriann' did happen (Adriann breaking Max out, Brin's death, Bling and Adriann, and so on…) but the actual episodes is reality in this…with the occasional adjustment to make it work……Adriann helped Max get out, but a bit later than in my fic, Renfro died a bit differently, Joshua's around, and so is Asha and Alec(which should be interesting)….and so on…..  

Oh yeah, the virus….sadly enough, it exists in this little tale of mine, but it didn't effect Logan right away in my world, cause that would just throw off my whole little thing in 'Adriann' so if you have any idea why it didn't immediately come into play let me know…

Well I suppose that's all the background I need to give you so I should get on with the story, especially since I've rambled for half a page. 

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**What a Broken Heart Can Bear**

**Chapter 1:** A Promise Made is a Promise Kept

**Rating**: PG-13ish

**Tag**: Borrowed Time

**Disclaimer**: Dark Angel and all it's characters belong to me in no way shape or form….the only way that I could ever have a chance at getting some rights to them would to marry into the Cameron/Eglee dynasty and quite frankly they are both too old for me and they are both married if memory serves…so the question remains do they have any sons? 

           Oh, yeah, Adriann – she's my very own burst of creative genius.

**Reviews**: HECK YEAH! I need to hear what you guys think otherwise my mind twists your silence into disgust and hate towards my writing. So please tell me what you think.  Luvvbug101@hotmail.com

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_           Hey Dre, it's me. Max. Umm, do you think that maybe you could call me when you get in. I…I just…I….*sigh* I really need to talk to you.   _

Max's voice floated across the room to the kitchen where Adriann was digging through her empty refrigerator. But there was something in her voice that grabbed Adriann's attention. Sadness, fear, heartbreak, sure those obvious, but it was what Max was trying too hide that made Adriann snap her head up, slam the fridge door shut, and grab her leather jacket and car key. It was the tears obviously streaming down her face and the sobs she was trying to choke back, it was the utter hopelessness and defeat in the voice of her sister that sent Dre running.

**-**

           "Max?" Adriann called as she knocked on the run down apartments down. "Max, are you there? Max?" When no one came to the door or even attempted to answer from within Adriann turned to knob, letting herself in. _'Let's just hope everyone's decent.'_

           "Maxie?" Adriann walked quietly into the hall, leading to Max's bedroom. Poking her head around the edge of the door frame, Dre found Max curled up in a tiny ball on her bed in a dreamless sleep. Kneeling down beside the edge of the bed, Adriann covered Max with a thin blanket that was thrown at the foot of the mattress. Even asleep, the pain and anguish Max felt was evident. 

           "I'll be here when you wake up." She whispered, looking down at her baby sister's tear stained face. Slowly Dre rose to her feet and walked back out into the living room. Flopping down onto their dilapidated couch, she sighed while she put her feet up on the coffee table. 

_'Wonder where Cindy is? Maybe she can clue me in on what the hell happened. Or maybe she knows less than you do. Either way…what happened? I mean I know that the virus was a pain in the ass and all but - oh God the virus. Please, God, please, don't let Logan be dead. Oh God please. Maybe, I should drop by his place. Just to make sure, and so I can be prepared for whatever it is that Max tells me. But I told Max that I'd be here when she woke up._' Adriann sighed heavily dropping her head back against the cushion_. 'I dunno. But Logan's place is safe now with Bling having found employment else where. Max will probably be a sleep for a while, and it could be a quick visit with Logan. Cause if Max is this upset, it must be something big. And he would probably know about it. And as good ole Manticore always said – 'Be prepared for all battles and unexpected encounters or occurrences.' – Or was that the Boy Scouts?'_

**-**

           "Knock, knock." Adriann called as she opened the door to Logan's Fogle Towers pent house, nearly afraid of what she might find. "Anyone home?"  'Oh God, please be home.'  

Logan had become a good friend in the weeks after the final take down of Manticore. He had given her a place to stay for as long as she wanted, been a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to when things ended with Bling – and had actually taken her side. Logan had become like family to Dre in those few short weeks before she moved to a small town in Northern California, with Logan's help of course. She would do anything for him and loved him like a brother and best friend. They had kept in touch throughout the time she was away, talking on the phone and through emails quite frequently, promising that they would never be more than a phone call away if one needed the other. She had made that same promise to Max. 

           "Logan? You home?" Adriann called again walking into the living room, pausing in her tracks when her eyes fell on Logan's back. He was staring out the floor length window,  that she had once broken with Brin, his elbows resting on his knees and hands holding his head. Crossing the space between them Adriann crouched down directly in his line of vision, and rested her hand on his knee.

           "Hey." She whispered, seeing his usual 'unkempt' look of a 5 o'clock shadow evolve into the mid-stages of a beard and his deflated posture. "What happened?"  Maybe it was the question itself, or maybe it was seeing Adriann again, or even the harsh reality of the past 36 hours finally breaking down the last of his walls. Maybe it was all of the above. But when Logan finally lifted his eyes from the ground all of the raw and unguarded agony that Logan felt was held within them, the last of his resolve shattered at the sight of his friend. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words couldn't be found to even come close to expressing the pain he was feeling. When Adriann opened her arms, Logan quickly collapsed into them sobs wracking his body. 

As Adriann was about to move up to the couch, Logan gently slid off  the edge and crumpled more into her embrace on the floor. Not knowing what else to do Adriann stayed with Logan on the floor, holding him as he cried, rocking him back and forth doing what she could to help pick up the broken pieces of his heart.

"It's gonna be okay. Everything is going to be okay." She whispered to him as she gently kissed the top of his head. Logan's grip around her tightened in response, before a new supply of tears began to flow freely. 

_'It's gonna be a rough night. This has got to work out. It has to. I'll do everything I can to fix this. And I still have no clue what happened.'  _Lifting her eyes to the ceiling Adriann sighed_. 'I could really use some help down here.'_ __

~Now I know that this was pretty short but it's just the beginning. SO if you think it's  worth reading let me know and I'll continue it, otherwise I'll just leave it be. PLEASE review so I know if you liked it or not. I'm begging here and it's only the 1st chapter – that can't be a good sign. :oD


	2. I'd Rather Fight an Army

What a Broken Heart Can Bear

Chapter 2: I'd Rather Fight an Army

~OK, so it appears that shamelessly begging works when it comes to reviews… Thanx soooo much guys for the great response, really – Thank You. :oD  Now keep it up. I need constant encouragement.

~I guess maybe I should have made this suggestion earlier, but it never occurred to me. You might want to read "Adriann" first just so you can get to know her a little better. It's not a must because like I said this is not a sequel. But it's just a thought.

~~~**MASSIVE AUTHOR'S NOTE**~~~Just for the sake of the story and consistency with the show…. In 'Adriann' Max and Logan NEVER came right out and said I LOVE YOU~~~And Adriann knows about Alec's existence, but has never seen him.~~~

~Alright I'm warning you now….Original Cindy is not my strong suit, so forgive me now and be prepared.

~ Ok people the usual disclaimers apply, and all the rating stuff you already know so on with the show! 

           After what seemed like an eternity, Logan finally fell asleep, emotionally exhausted. Not much had been said, in terms of conversation.  Logan had tried to tell her, but even with her revved up hearing all Adriann could make out were bits and pieces of what she assumed was a sentence. All that she knew for sure was that it had something to do with Max and it was bigger than she could ever have imagined. 

           It was times like these that she half wished that she could go back in time, just to get her 'heightened perception' back. Sure, it was still there, but something happened that night late in September when she had nearly died from exhaustion in Bling's arms. Adriann asked herself the same question over and over again when it came to her nearly psychic abilities: "Is it really worth all the stress and heartache?" The answer was always torn. It would be worth it if she could save her loved ones from any pain, but she would also never get the chance to love knowing how the relationship would ultimately end in pain. But that was only part of it. _It's just one of those things that I'll never know. _

           Carefully, Adriann picked Logan up off the floor and lay him down on the couch. Smiling down sadly at Logan's face, she bent down to kiss his damp cheek with a sigh. _I should get back to Max's apartment. She'll be up soon, if she's not already._

           Soundlessly, Adriann walked into the computer room in search of a pen and paper. _I hate seeing him like this._ Adriann grabbed a ripped piece of paper off his desk and checked to make sure it was blank before continuing her search for a pen of some kind. _I've never seen him like. I mean even when Max was assumed to be dead he had that glimmer of hope in his eyes. Now, there's just…just…defeat and indescribable pain. Logan where the hell are all you pens?! You're a journalist for crying out loud you should have pens! Or are underground cyber journalists too good for – OH! Here we go._ Adriann reached down around the back of the filing cabinet and grabbing a dust covered pen. _Like a normal person would have looked there. And Logan the dust! It's shameful. I'm gonna have to remember to bust on him later for that. _

_Logan,_

_                     I'm gonna stop by Max's see how she's doing. She left me a message this afternoon and it didn't sound good. So I'll be back either tonight or tomorrow morning. Do you mind if I reclaim my old room? :oD I'll be back soon. I promise. Love you._

_Adriann_

           Placing the note under his glasses and one more feather light kiss on Logan's forehead, Adriann dropped her bag in her old room and left for Max's.

**-**

           Letting herself in once again, Adriann headed immediately for Max's room. _Still sleeping. Good._ Gently sitting down Adriann contemplated whether or not to wake Max up.

           "Dre?" Max asked groggily. 

           "Hey sweetie." She answered moving up to sit beside her. "How you doing?"

           "I can't believe you're already here. I just called today." Max slowly sat up as the sharp, consistent pain in her heart returned.

           "I was here earlier but I figured I'd let you sleep. You need the rest." Max nodded slightly as her eyes fell to her lap, tears threatening to overflow once more. 

           "Maxie, what happened?" Adriann asked, gently brushing  back Max's now long straight hair.

           "Everything is just so screwed up." She cried, burring her face in Adriann's shoulder. 

           "Shhh. Maxie, tell me what happened. Shhh. If you tell me what happened, maybe I can help. Maxie." Adriann pressed. 

           "It's Logan. And the virus. That DAMN VIRUS!" Max yelled, slamming her fist down on the mattress.

           "I thought you guys were close to a cure? What happened?"

           "We were, but then a million and twelve things got in the way… I actually found one two days ago. But Manticore threw in yet another twist. When we built a protein barrier around the virus cells, it looked like we had it. It really did." Max sniffed. "But of course, something had to go wrong. The virus mutated and began to eat at the protein wall. The cure would only last for twelve hours."

           "Maxie."

           "Oh no it gets better." Max snickered ruefully. "When I finally worked up the courage to go over to Logan's the was a little more than ten hours left. Dre. It was….it was incredible. I could touch him without killing him Dre. I wasn't poison for twelve whole hours! I never knew that one simple little touch could mean so much." Max smiled taken in by the memory.

"He made me dinner, and we talked about stupid stuff. It was like old times. Not a care in the world when we were together. We got to finish our dance. The one from our dream more than a year ago. Everything was perfect. Logan pulled back just enough to look at my face, and just as he was about to kiss me – Enter Joshua."

"Joshua? What was he doing at Logan's?"

"Gossamer. Some Manticore experiment was on the loose, and going after people for no apparent reason. It turned out being so stupid dentist's office and one of the supplies he was after. But, even though I was perfectly fine ignoring the fact that some people could possibly use some help for another nine and a half hours, Joshua wouldn't let me. And even Logan reluctantly agreed that we should do something. So, just before I left to go get Alec I kissed him. He had the stupidest grin on his face." Max laughed. 

"You'd think tracking down a slimy goo spitting transgenic would be easy enough. But of course when I have a ticking time bomb in my blood, life gets difficult. First I'm trucking around in sewers for hours with Alec - of all people – while Logan was sitting back at his place with Joshua. Then I go to call Logan back after pulling my ass outta the scum, and I hear his phone ringing somewhere around me."

"You know Logan, never stays put when he should. He got himself caught by Gossamer, and was wrapped in a nice little sac of sludge on a run down junk yard car. Let's just say that both me and Alec managed to end up in similar predicaments. When we finally woke up from the stun goo garbage that thing spit, so much time had passed. But I was clueless as to exactly how much. Joshua managed to find us, even though he wasn't supposed to leave Logan's. But I am for once thankful that he didn't. He got all of us out, me, Logan, Alec, and the guys Gossamer took before us. Then I took care of that Manticore reject. By the time everything settled down, and Logan and I could be alone again -  we only had two minutes left." Tears began streaming down Max's face again, as she fought to finish her story.

"What Max? What else?" Adriann asked gently.

"He said that when he thought I was dead, even though he never really believed it, it hurt too much to move. That he sat down on the couch and didn't move for weeks. He said that, that's how he felt now. We wasted so much time. We wasted a whole year Dre. If I could just get that time back, if we could. Things would be different. We wouldn't keep running away from how we felt or try to deny it. But we can't keep losing each other like this. It's too hard." Max closed her eyes, unable to look Adriann in the eye any longer. "He kissed me even though he knew our time had already run out. He didn't care."

"He told me he loves me. He came right out and said it. 'I love you Max.' But it seemed more like a goodbye. He walked away before he heard me tell him." Unable to hold them back any longer, Max collapsed back into her sisters arms sobbing. 

"He knows you love him Max. I'm sure of it." _'At least I hope he does. Logan can be blind to the truth at times. God I hope this isn't one of them.'_

"I'm so scared that I'm really gonna lose him this time. Dre, you didn't see him. You didn't see his eyes. He's always been so strong, and unwavering. I can't lose him Adriann I can't. He's part of my soul. I never thought I had a soul till I met him. I need Logan. The thought of going through life without him…let's just say I'd rather be back at Manticore than have to live like that." Max tightened her grip around Adriann's waist as she was gently rocked back and forth in her sisters arms. 

"I don't know how, but, Maxie, I'll work this out. I promise. No one deserves to be together more than you two. And I'll do whatever it takes so that happens." She vowed. 

**-**

           When Original Cindy walked through the door a few hours later Adriann happily greeted her friend.

           "Hey girl! What are you doin' here?" Cindy asked excitedly, pulling her into a hug.

           "I got a call from a sister of mine, said she could use a visit and  shoulder." Adriann's smile faded with her last comment.

           "So my Boo told you what went down with money bags." Cindy nodded plopping down on the old couch.

           "Yeah. And I need a favor." Adriann told her sitting down on the arm.

           "You tell Original Cindy what it is then I'll tell you if I'll do it." Adriann smiled at the young woman's undying lip.

           "Can you keep an eye on Max for me. You know make sure she's alright, don't let her turn into a useless pile mush." 

           "You know I'd do anything for my Boo. But where are you gonna be?" Cindy asked skeptically.

           "At Logan's. He shouldn't be alone right now, and with Bling gone now he's got no one there. And I've got to figure this thing out, so those two can finally have a happy ending. And I can't do that until I know what's going on in Logan's head other than mind numbing pain." 

           "Sounds good. You take care of Richie Rich and I'll take care of my Boo." Cindy agreed. "If you need anything, just beep me, or Max and we'll hit you back." 

           "Thanks Cindy." Adriann said seriously.

           "Yeah, yeah. No prob." Cindy waved her hand dismissively. "Now get your revved up ass over to the mansion and take care of our boy." 

           "Ok I'm going." Dre laughed walking out the door. 

           "God knows Original Cindy is not the person to have trying to take care of a male make him feel better." She mumbled as she entered the kitchen. "Females I get."

**-**

           In the dark hallway Adriann laughed silently at the assumedly unheard comment. _'Adriann what the hell are you getting yourself into?'_ Adriann flung open the heavy metal door to the street and began the short walk to her little sports car. _'I'd rather fight an entire army. At least then I  know what I'm doing.' _

**SO there you go. Chapter 2.  I know that this was short again, but I'm trying to decide how I'm gonna tackle this thing. Cause I haven't a clue at the moment.  Please remember to Review!**

*Does anyone know where I could find a DA music video with "Tonight and the Rest of my Life" by Nina Gordon?*


	3. Trying to Cover the Pain

What a Broken Heart Can Bear

Chapter 3: Trying to Cover the Pain

Oh, it appears that I wasn't very clear when I asked about the DA video. It's not that the actual video made for the specifically for the song is about DA. Some people put the videos together on their computer and add a song to it - thus the music video. If you wanna see some you can go to 'Logan and Max {A Dark Angel Shipper Site} and look in the Fogle Towers section. I'm a personal fan of the 'Deliver Me' video. Great song. Sorry about the confusion. 

I think it's my responsibility as the author to give you guys a bit of a warning about a decision I made the other night.  Where this story is headed, may not be where you all are hoping. Now don't get me wrong, I'm as big a Max/Logan shipper as anyone.  But I wanna try something different with this.  So please when it becomes obvious as to what I'm doing, let me know what you think. And contrary to popular opinion I can be swayed. I'm a bit nervous about doing this so I can use all the support you're willing to give.

***I have one more favor…what song(s) do you think of when you think of DA?

Ummm, I think that's about it as far as Author's notes go. Umm…well on with the show.

          Adriann slipped into Logan's apartment just as the sun was beginning to rise from  the horizon in a fiery blaze. She half expected Logan to be asleep, or mindlessly at work as Eyes Only. But, she found Logan not far from where she had left him; on the couch watching the sun rise. Hearing the sound of the percolating coffee, Adriann took a detour to the kitchen and poured two cups of the rare beverage and joined her roommate on the couch and handed him his cup. 

          "Breathtaking isn't it?" he murmured only half feeling the warmth seep through the glass to his hands.

          "Hmmm." Adriann was watching her friend more than the sunrise, as the sun broke over the hill crest in the distance. _'He didn't sleep much, and whatever sleep he did get was probably full of nightmares. And knowing him, he hasn't talked to a soul about this. Which makes my job even harder. But the question is, how do I bring this up?_' Taking a sip of her coffee, Adriann composed her thoughts, and turned more towards Logan. _'Might as well just dive on in. It's gonna be messy no matter what. So why bother cutting corners?'_

          "So, you finally told Max that you love her." Adriann stated flatly, her eyes showing nothing but empathy and love.

          "She told you." He nodded slightly. "Quite frankly, I'm surprised she's still in Seattle." Logan added harshly.

          "And why is that?" Adriann pushed a  bit defensively.

          "Oh, please Adriann. You know as well as I do, that whenever things get hard or sticky or too emotional, Max runs. Just like the rest of them." Logan spat angrily, unaware of what he had just said.

          "Just like the rest of them." She whispered hardly audible. She felt like she had just been kicked in the gut, and the wind knocked out of her. "Well, if that's how _they_ are maybe I should be running. Because this situation you've gotten yourself into is a bit too emotional for a lab rat like myself." Adriann put her coffee cup on the table as she rose to her feet. "I'll get my things and let myself out." Her anger growing to cover the hurt, Adriann stalked off towards her bedroom, leaving Logan on the couch. 

          "Adriann. You know I didn't mean you." He sighed exasperated, as he rose to his feet. 

          "Oh really? The what did you mean?" she asked adjusting the shoulder strap of her duffle bag, walking back into the living room. 

          "I don't know. I was just angry. I didn't mean anything." Logan shouted.

          "Well, anger tends to bring out the truth about what people think of others. So Logan, what do you really think?" Adriann asked raising her voice to meet his.

          "Oh I dunno. That you're a genetically engineered killing machine. Or maybe a lost little murdering freak with no real place in the world anymore. Or how about some guy's nice little test tube creation that never should have been made. Or even a military trained half breed who can't stay out of other people's business. Every time you try to help, you just screw it up more! Damn it Adriann, I wish you never showed your face here!" Logan screamed at the top of his lungs.  

"Get _OUT_!" He added throwing  his coffee mug against the wall, sending hundreds of tiny pieces of glass showering down around the room like diamonds.  All anger that was coursing through Adriann's veins quickly vanished at Logan's harsh words. She felt like she had just been stabbed by the most solid and stable figure in her chaotic life. As tears threatened to fall, Adriann took a deep breath to stabilize herself, and keep her dignity. 

          "Well," she whispered. "If that's how you feel…It was nice knowing you Logan." Turning on her heal, Adriann began to walk to the door, but stopped half way there and faced Logan once more. 

          "Who the hell do you think you are? And how dare you treat me like one of your degenerate-low life-brainless-piss poor informants, who screwed up again! I know you're upset about the whole Max and the virus ordeal. But need I remind you that **_you_** are the one who wasted quite possibly the most precious year of your life with Max? So you can be as angry and self destructive as you want, but don't even **_think_** of ever speaking to me like that again! I don't deserve it. And I sure as hell won't put up with it. And don't think for one minute that Max will either. Get over yourself Logan, for once,  and take a look around! You're not the only one hurting here." With that Adriann reached for the door handle, with barely a second thought, _'Goodbye Logan'_ and yanked it open

          "Dre?" A small, weak a voice called, so softly that without her enhanced hearing she would have missed it. "I can't lose you too." Logan sat back down on the edge of the couch, putting his head in his hands hoping that she would stay to listen.

          "I'm sorry. I'm just so…so…raw. It's like I'm walking around with open wounds all over my body and every breath pours salt in them. I didn't mean any of that. I swear I didn't. You've got to know that. All of what I said was what Manticore wanted you to become, wants you to believe that you are. But, you're  not anything like that, not even close. I don't know what made me say those heinous and hurtful lies. I am so sorry. I hate thinking about the sick and twisted plans Manticore had for the people I love most in my life." Logan lifted his head to look out the window, feeling Adriann's presence near by. He continued turning to face the woman standing silently behind the couch and took her hands in his.

"But there are times when I do wish that you had never showed up on my door step that night." Logan admitted. Feeling Adriann immediately tense Logan's tear filled locked with hers. "Because if you never showed up that night and I never met you, I wouldn't be so terrified of losing you someday. Just the thought of it, just the possibility, scares the hell out of me Adriann. It really does." Taking a small step forward, Adriann smiled down sadly as Logan wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against her stomach, losing his battle with his tears. Holding him close, she bent down to kiss his head. _'I never knew that he cared about me that much. I knew he did, a lot. But I never could have imagined how much.'_

"You don't have to worry about losing me. You will never lose me Logan, I can promise you that. Anytime you need me -for anything- I'll be here. All you have to do is say the word, and I'm here. Shh. It's okay. Everything's going to be okay." She consoled as Logan's grip on her tightened. _'Good thing I'm 'superwoman' otherwise I wouldn't be able to breathe.' _

"Adriann?" Logan asked, without moving. 

"Yeah."

"I need you. I think I always will, but right now, I really need you here with me." Logan pulled his head back to look at her face. "Please don't leave. Stay here with me. You can have your old room back – I haven't touched a thing in it – It could be like old times. Please? Adriann. Stay." 

_'Aww, he looks so desperate and pathetic. Like a lost little puppy. How can I say no to him when he looks like that? BUT…I'll have to make him work for this.'_

"I'll move back in on two conditions."  She told him, doing everything she could to maintain her appearance of seriousness.

"Anything."

"1. We have to watch some old movie together at least once a week, or have some kind of quality time together, so we can work out any issues or just talk they way we used to." _'I miss our talks Logan.'_

"Done." He smiled, not seeing the sacrifice in that. But he wouldn't complain, she could make his life much more difficult if she wanted to and Logan knew he deserved it. Especially after his little outburst today.

"2. We've got to do something about that hair. It's ridiculously long and out of control." Adriann scolded as she, fighting to keep a straight face.

"I think I can handle that." Logan chuckled, running a hand through his messy hair. "I've been meaning to cut it anyway."

"Well it looks like you've got yourself a roomie Mr. Cale. Now move over." She said playfully pushing his aside, before hoping over the back of the couch and reclaiming her seat. Leaning into his shoulder, Adriann sighed. 

"Gotta broom?" she asked flatly.

"What?" Logan looked over at his roommate, baffled.

"Well someone's got to clean up the glass, and it might as well be me." Adriann replied flippantly, as she got up and began to pick up some of the bigger shards of glass. "But don't get used to me cleaning up after you. Because it will not be a regular occurrence." Cutting behind him, she dumped the glass into the garbage can.

"If I remember correctly, you would be the slob of the house not me." Logan laughed, taking the broom out of the hall closet and handing it over to her. 

"You remember that huh?" Dre said with a smile and a shrug. "Oh well. A girl's gotta try right?" 

"Uh-huh." Logan rolled his eyes, squatting down to hold the dust pan in place. "What ever you say." 

After they had finished cleaning up the mess, Adriann brought her bag back into her room and unpacked while Logan showered. The actual process of unpacking didn't take long, but all the reminiscing extended the ordeal.

          _'He really didn't touch a thing. I've been gone for almost seven months and everything is exactly as I left it.'_ Adriann sat down on her large soft bed, and picked up the stuffed bear sitting in front of the pillows. _'He even kept this.' _She smiled at the bear as the memories flooded her mind._ 'It seems like yesterday…'_ Bling had won the bear for her at a near by town's carnival. That was one of those days you wish never ended…but at the same time, you've never been so happy it was never coming back. That was the day the virus came into play. The four-some had spent the day at the carnival, happily laughing and thoroughly enjoying themselves and each others company. 

That night Logan had made dinner for them. While Bling and Adriann were dancing, Logan and Max were finishing up the dishes. He leaned down to kiss her and suddenly it was as if Max had become poison. Logan broke out in a cold sweat, boils, a rash and he had a fever that was through the roof. Then thanks to Adriann's good 'ole sixth sense, she figured out that it was Manticore. Somehow they had managed to create a virus specifically targeted towards Logan's DNA, and Max was their host; she carried it in her blood. When the virus was initially introduced Max was so weak, because of her recent heart transplant, that it couldn't be full implanted into her system. Her immune system doing its job, held the virus at bay just long enough to give both Max and Logan some hope for the future. When she was finally back to full strength, Max's immune system backed off and the virus was free to do as it pleased. 

Adriann had taken care of Logan while Max had gone back to Manticore for the antigen. The rest is history. That was one of the best and worst days of Adriann's life. And this bear was a reminder of that and so much more. It was a reminder of Bling. _'Bling. Now there is someone I don't want to think about. After all he is married now. So what's the point? After all, it's my own fault he's married and not to me. I am a human 'fog bank', a trait that appears to run in the family. Get on with your life. He's still a friend. He did invite you to the wedding – not that you went – but you were invited. And Heather is a sweet heart, they're great together. Anyway, it wasn't meant to be. I could see that more than anyone. But the time we had together, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I guess that means, the bear stays.' _Adriann laughed to herself._ 'Always gotta talk things out don't you? Yep, you're nuts.'_  Tossing the bear back onto the bed, Adriann decided it was time for breakfast. 

          "Hey Logan!" she yelled walking out into the hall. 

          "Yes Adriann?" Logan replied, knowing what was coming next.

          "You making me breakfast or what?" The only answer she got was the burst of laughter flowing out of the kitchen. 'I guess that's a yes.'

          "Well, make a lot, cause I'm hungry." 

~Well kiddies, there you have it chapter 3. I am sorry that it took me so long to get this up. Forgive me? Please. Remember to review for me cause I'm curious as to what you're thinking about the impending change in the direction of this little story of mine. As well as the songs you think of when it comes to DA.   
Kimmy, you're the best! Thanks soooooo much for the help with the virus delay. You have no idea how thankful I am. Granted I was a moron and accidentily deleted the email before I used you great little bit of info…so I probably screwed up your idea royally. For that I apologize. But for the really good part of that - You get all the credit for that one!

Kat, as always you're there to push me…keep me going. I love you hon. What would I do with out you. And yes I am alive. Haven't dropped off the face of the earth or anything. Sorry if you worried about me. :o)


	4. Breaking Point

What a Broken Heart Can Bear

Chapter 4: Breaking Point

~ OK, again I apologize for this taking so long to get up but I had mind-terms so I had to get those outta the way first.  To all of you who I didn't get a chance to talk to yet about this story and where it's headed: Please rest assured that I'm not gonna go crazy and crush all your hopes and dreams for out couple here. I do have a plan and I hope that you give me the chance to write it for you.  All I ask is that you trust me. :o)   
~ Alrighty, I'm still interested in your favorite DA oriented songs …so if you have one let me know.   
~ Kat, what would I do without you? Thanks for all the help with this…if I didn't have you to bounce ideas off of I dunno what I'd do. My stories would be a jumbled mess. You're the best and I luv ya! Kimmy, you're awesome! And I finally read chapter 1! So let me say… You Rock! SO everyone go read anything and everything by katerpillar and iluvaqt cause they are both kick-ass writers. So, go read and review them! GO on go…. Teehee.

~Ummmm, ok….I think that's all for now, so here we go. OH yeah please remember to tell me what you think. Ok, now I'm done.   
____________________________________________________________________________________

        "They can't keep ignoring each other like this. Nothing will ever get solved. And you know as well as I do that if its up to them, neither one will do anything about it. I guess it's up to us." Adriann was lying upside down with her head hanging over the edge of her bed as she talked to Original Cindy on the phone the next evening. She couldn't help but laugh at the endless banter between her friend and Normal who was on her back about using the "company phone". 

        "Listen little missy, if you don't get off of that phone this minute you aren't gonna have a job to complain about in the morning!" Normal bellowed, his voice carrying through to Adriann.

        "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Promises, promises." She muttered returning to her conversation. "Listen suga, Original Cindy's gotta bounce, but we'll hook up our two love birds up in the 'castle in the sky' tomorrow night at 8."

"Thanks Cindy." She replied flipping onto her stomach.  
"No big dealio. Later." 

Punching the off button on the phone Adriann sighed and rolled off her bed. "Well, now all we've got to do is get them in a room together and make them talk." 

Adriann walked to the kitchen and went directly to the refrigerator in search of something appealing, but found nothing but the empty back of the appliance. _'I really have to get him cooking again. I can't deal with this.'_ Shutting the door to the refrigerator, she resorted to the last of her own personal stash, a pint of Hot Tin Roof Sunday ice cream. Grabbing a spoon from the drawer, Adriann turned back towards her room after taking a detour to check on Logan.         

Somehow, she had managed to talk him into doing some form of work, which ended up being a routine computer defrag. Even the great Eyes Only's computer had to be cleaned out every once and a while, and when is it better than when he's on a break? 

_'He hasn't moved an inch…he looks like hell too. But I guess that happens when you hardly sleep for a few days and only shower once…yeah I should make him shower.' _Scooping out a large spoon full of the ice cream Adriann made the short trip back to her bedroom. _'It's not like Logan to avoid his work. He normally throws himself into it when he's hurting. I'm really worried. And Max is as distant as ever…retreating into soldier mode. This is such a mess.'_ Adriann shut the door behind her and flopped back down onto her bed. Shoving another heap of ice cream in her mouth Adriann grabbed the phone and punched Max's speed dial number. _'I'll make her feel guilty for not coming to see me and then Cindy can finish the job. We can just spring the whole thing on Logan. That way, he can't try to get out of it.'_

"Yeah." Max answered, pulling Adriann from her thoughts.

"So, I'm sitting her alone in my room wondering why my FAVORITE sister never comes to visit me? Especially since I now live a mere 10 minutes away." Adriann told her feigning a hurt confusion.

"You've only been here for three days." Max laughed

"True, but neither one of us sleep all that much. I mean you can't even drop in to lift something of mine to fence. Max I am truly hurt." She joked, laying a hand over her heart.

"You know I only steal from bad guys now."

"Cause the have it comin'."

"Pretty much." 

"Yeah, so when you gonna visit me? I'm starting to feel abandoned." She pushed.

"Dre…" Max trailed as she searched her mind for an excuse her sister wouldn't see through.

"Max…" she echoed.

"I can't." Max mumbled defeated.

"Look, this apartment is just as much mine as it is Logan's. Except he pays the rent and he owns all the good stuff in it, but that's not the point. I miss you Maxie. I want some quality girl time with you and I can't get that at Crash. And if Logan's presence really bothers you, we can stay in my room the whole time, or if you're feeling especially crazy we can lock him in his bedroom. Just please come see me." Adriann asked completely heartfelt. 

"If it means that much…I guess I could maybe drop by sometime." Max said reluctantly.

"Thanks Maxie. You're the best."   
        "If you say so. Later." 

"Bye." Dropping the phone by her side, Adriann returned her attention to her ice cream with a smile. "At least it wasn't a no." _'Sure she made be mad at me for a while, but she'll get over it when she sees it's all for the best. Max and Logan really need to talk as painful as it may be. But they belong together; it doesn't take a genius to see that. I just wish that they weren't so blind to it. And I don't even know if I'm going about this the right way. That sixth sense sure would come in handy right about now. But no, that would make things too simple. As if I don't have enough going on, I can never be sure when the little 'psychic' switch will be flipped. That screws with a girls head. Adriann focus! This is about Max and Logan, not your Manticore made mind. Okay, all I've got to do is get two of the most stubborn people in the world to not be themselves.  How in the world am I gonna do that?' _

*_*

A few hours later Adriann was about to jump out of her skin as she paced the length of her room. _'I've gotta go do something I can't stand being in here and having nothing to do. Logan's still in his 'office' do some mindless grunt work and listening to __"Valse triste" by Sibelius_ _on repeat. And I can only take so much of that. I can't sleep when I'm like this…and sitting still is out of the question. I've just got too much energy. It's my own fault. I haven't done anything remotely exerting in the past three days. Crash! I'll go to Crash and check up on some friends.'_ Adriann began to rifle through her bare walk in closet in search of something to wear. _'I am in desperate need of a shopping trip. This is pathetic. What sort of girl has a closet like this and doesn't even attempt to fill it? Not this one that's for sure.'_  

Twenty minutes later, after berating herself for her pathetic excuse for a wardrobe, Adriann emerged from her room in a fitted black top with splatters of dark blue and silver metallic paint, a pair of fitted acid wash jeans and her leather jacket.

"Logan, I'm going out!" She called over his music as she grabbed her leather boots from the hall closet. 

"Really?" He asked coming out of his office and turning down his stereo.

"Yeah. Why not?" She replied, sitting down on the arm of the chair and pulling on her left boot before looking up at Logan.

"No reason. Have fun." Logan said coolly, but when Adriann looked up at him, his eyes gave him away.

"I will. Thanks." Pulling on her right boot, Adriann bounced to her feet. "I shouldn't be too late, but don't wait up." She added with a smile and a suggestive rise of her eyebrows. "And no, Max won't be there."

"I wasn't…" Logan sputtered.

"Yes you were." She told him flatly. "But she is gonna stop by sometime soon." _'Maybe a little warning would be a good idea.'_

"Adriann…" he warned, making sure she knew exactly how he felt about her little plan.

"Hey – She's coming to see me. You can't monopolize all her time, you know." Adriann said decisively. "But, I just might let you talk to her." She added as she gently poked him for emphasis. 

"Gee, thanks." He moped.

"You've got to talk to her eventually. So why not get it over with as soon as possible." Adriann asked suddenly serious.

"I know." Logan sighed. "And I will, eventually." He admitted sighing once more. " But enough about me, that's all we've talked about for the past 72 hours." He said dismissively. "Go have fun." 

"Okay." Adriann said watching Logan carefully. "I want no pity parties while I'm gone." She ordered giving him a quick hug.

"Alright." He chuckled.  
         "Later!" she called walking into the small hallway on her way to the door. "Sure you don't wanna come?" She asked sticking her head around the corner.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Logan laughed.

*_*

        Adriann casually walked into Crash; one of the most popular hangouts in the sector. After quickly scanning the crowd for any familiar - or unwelcome faces for that matter – she sat down at the bar.

        "Hey, haven't seen you here in a while." The bar tender said with a genuine smile.

        "Hey Mike." She replied happily. 

        "It's Adriann right?" he asked, unsure of how reliable his memory was. 

        "Yep." She laughed. "How've you been?"

        "I'm survivin'." Mike shrugged. "But where did you disappear to?" he asked leaning forward onto the bar.

        "I moved actually. But I might be staying in the area for a while now."

        "Well, either way it's good to see you back." He said sincerely. "What can I get ya?"  Mike asked returning to his bartender mode.

        "Just a Coke would be great." Mike nodded and went to get her order. _'I wonder if anything interesting is going at the pool table, cause I'm not feelin' this DJ. Maybe there's some poor sap I talk into playing me. I could earn some money for my shopping spree.'_

Thanking Mike again, Adriann took her glass and began to weave through the sea of people. When she was nearly there she saw the back of a familiar dark blonde playing a game of pool against himself. _'Ben? It can't be.'_ Pushing her way through the crowd Adriann's heart was racing. As the man rounded the corner of the table Adriann broke through the last of the people and saw the face she never thought she'd see again.

        "Ben." She gasped. Silently she moved behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder to get his attention. Quickly the young man spun around ready to defend himself.

        "Ben?" Adriann asked with tears in her eyes, and threw her arms around him not waiting for an answer.

        "Uhh…hey…whoa. Easy there girlie." He said gently prying her off of him. "I hate to tell you this, I really do," he paused taking a long look at the beauty before him with a smirk, "but the names not Ben. But that can be changed."

        "But, you…I'm sorry." Adriann shook her head slightly as she took a step back. "You'd think that after my brother's been dead for a year I'd know that I wouldn't find him playing pool." She scoffed sadly.

        "Hey, you're not the first to make that mistake. I'm Alec." He said holding out his hand.

        "Alec?" Adriann asked ignoring his gesture. "As in the Alec who feels the need to make my sister's life a hell of a lot more difficult than it needs to be on a daily basis? The idiot Alec who nearly got his brain blow to pieces and needed the five-grad that would have changed my sister's life forever to save his pathetic excuse for a life? The Alec who is always such a smart-ass that he was named after it? That Alec or is that a different sleaze ball who just happens to have the same name as you and deserves an ass beating from yours truly?" Adriann fired her demeanor changing immediately. 

        "Yeah, I guess that would be me. But I think your impression of me is a little bias. And you are…?" Alec trailed waiting for her name.

        "Adriann." She finished, disgust overwhelming her face.

        "Yeah, I've heard of you. Max said you're Ben's twin." He stopped short as the realization hit him. "Which would make you…?" he said slowly.

"Your unfortunate twin sister." Alec grunted at his new found sister's comment and returned to his game of pool. 

        "Well, it's a family reunion." He said crassly, as he leaned down to aim for his next shot. Rolling her eyes, Adriann took a step forward and leaned on the side of the table directly across from him and looked down at his perspective shot and back at Alec.

        "What? Are you disappointed that I didn't take over the throne of shame for you?"

        "Move." Alec ordered looking up at her.

        "Why? You not gonna make that shot whether I do or not."

        "It's an easy shot. All I have to do is tape the 9-ball on the left and it's sunk in the corner pocket. It's not rocket science." He informed Adriann, his features showing none of the irritation that his eyes did.

        "Fine. Do what you want, but I would go for the 2-ball in the corner pocket. But that's just me."

        "Just move." He growled. Shrugging Adriann turned and began walking back towards the bar, as Alec returned his concentration back to the table.

        "Alec?" Adriann called from the top of the stairs.

        "What!?" he spat. Adriann glared at him, but as usual she couldn't hold contempt in her eyes for long.

        "I was gonna say, it's nice to have finally met you. But I could be wrong." Turning on her heel, she walked up to the bar, said her goodbyes to Mike and  continued out the door.

        "Great." Alec said to himself as he watched Adriann leave. "Just what I need, another revved up super sister pissed at me." Shaking his head, Alec returned to his shot. "All it takes is a bad hair day for them to get their panties in a bunch." Alec hit the cue ball with precision skill and sent it rolling towards the 9. However he didn't get the result he had hoped for. Instead, as Adriann predicted, the 9-ball rolled off in a diagonal line past the pocket that the cue ball ended up in.

        "Damn it!" he hissed throwing down his cue and glaring at the exit door where Adriann had just been. 

*_*

        Adriann sat in the drivers seat of her car calming down after her encounter with Alec. She glanced down at the dash clock – 9:45.

AN: Okay, here's the deal. I'm splitting this into 2 different 'realities', like in the movie Sliding Doors if you've seen it. Some things will happen no matter what is done others will not. You'll know when I'm switching between them when you see something like this…but I promise you'll know. Hope you like it.

"It's still early." Adriann sighed. "But I don't feel like driving around aimlessly. Gas is too hard to come by these days. So it looks like I'm going home." Taking a deep breath, Adriann turned the key and her car came to life. Within seconds she was on the road home.

        "It's only 9:45, there is no way I can go back home. It's too early." Adriann drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she tried to think of something to do. "Well, it's been a while since I've seen the city at night. And Lord knows that I could use some time to think…air out my thoughts." Taking a deep breath, Adriann turned the key and her car came to life. Within seconds she was on the road headed for the Seattle Space Needle.

~Ok guys, there it is. Chapter 4. From now on each chapter will split into the 2 scenarios…and they'll be in the same order each time. The one I began the split with will be the one at the beginning of each chapter and so forth. I'm hoping to come up with a name or something for each of the 2 parts, so it would be easier to identify them.  
~As always, any thoughts, criticisms, ideas, opinions… are more than welcome: luvvbug101@hotmail.com    But please let me know what you think…Thanks for reading!


	5. Too Close For Comfort

**What a Broken Heart Can Bear**

Chapter 5: Too Close For Comfort

~ Well, I'm gonna try and not take the lack of reviews from the last chapter personally…but it's gonna be hard. To the 3 people who did…Kat, Kimmy and Rajana, you have my unending thanks and gratitude. PLEASE read and REVIEW!!!!!

~Kat, you're the best! I honestly don't know what I'd do without my beta….you seriously rock. And BTW when's your next fic comin out…you know an original story of your own? 

~ Ummm….just so you know this is the first chapter with the dual realities…they'll be in the same order each time starting with the first one 'Too Slow to Ride' in the last chapter…followed by 'Got me Down'  Many thanks to Nina Gordon for the awesome songs and CD…if only she would read this…lol

          ~~*~~Too Slow to Ride~~*~~

          _'He is such an ass! I mean really. Who the hell does hell think he is? I don't know how I could have possibly thought hat he was Ben. At least I did until he opened his big obnoxious, condescending mouth.' _Adriann sighed leaning up against the elevator wall_. 'Calm down, just forget about him. His pompous ass isn't worth your time.' _

          When the door finally opened revealing the pent house door, Adriann's thoughts were consumed with trying to forget about her encounter with Alec. But after all he was her brother. Opening the front door with ease Adriann nearly collided with Max.

          "Max!" Adriann said shocked to see her sister there, especially by the close call. "What are you doing here? What's wrong?" She added seeing her tear streaked face.

          "Nothing." she snapped. "I've gotta get outta here." Max mumbled trying to push past Adriann's much shorter frame.

          "No you don't. You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong." Adriann said firmly, blocking Max's path.

          "Adriann, I swear to God, if you don't get out of my way…" she threatened.

          "You'll what? Fight me? I think not. You're angry, that makes you sloppy. I can kick your ass on your best day as it is. So I think it would be in your best interest to turn yourself around and sit your butt down on the couch." Adriann challenged, not backing down an inch as Max rose to her full height with a defiant glare. "Now." She ordered leaving no room for argument. 

When it came right down to it, Adriann carried an aura about her that was much bigger than she actually was. When she decided to use that, it could be not only intimidating, but terrifying. Not many people, human or transgenic, would expect such a small woman to be as formidable as Adriann could be and was. And if need be, she could always pull rank on Maxie, but that was a last a resort. Max grudgingly turned and stalked into the living room, shooting one last venomous glare at Adriann. 

          _'Stop it Maxie. You can't always get your way and run from every painful situation in life. Suck it up and deal.'_ Adriann followed a few steps behind Max, making sure she did as she was told. Walking around from the back of the couch, Adriann kneeled down beside Logan to make sure he was okay. Logan nodded slightly, without lifting  his head from his hands giving Adriann the go ahead.

          "Okay. Now will someone tell me what the hell is going on here?" Adriann asked returning to her position behind the couch. She watched to couple sulk at either end of the couch while she paced its length. "We can stay here as long as you want, cause no one is going anywhere until this is thing is talked out. I don't have to sleep and I have more patience that you can imagine. So whenever you two are ready just let me know." Adriann pulled up a chair from the dining room table and made herself comfortable. Twenty minutes later Adriann heard Max mumble something about how this was bull and useless. 

          "Bull it may be sister dear, but it's up to you how long this bull continues." She smirked.

          "Shut up, Max." Logan said quietly, speaking for the first time since Adriann's arrival. "You're the one who never wants to deal with anything because it's just easier to run. Well guess what, I'm not letting you run this time." Logan turned to look at her sitting a few feet away, but the feet seemed like miles. 

          "I'm only trying to save us both a lot of pain and suffering. You know as well as I do Logan that it's killing us a little bit at a time. And don't say it doesn't. I can see it in your eyes every time some couple on the street kisses, or is holding hands. I see it every time Cindy hugs me, and I see it every time that your first instinct is to brush my hair out of my face, or take my hand, or ask me to dance. I can't take seeing how much this damn thing is killing you anymore. That's worse than the actual separation Logan, seeing your heart break a little more each time you have to hold back." Max told him, her voice softening with each word as fresh tears trailed down her cheeks.

          "You think that it would be better if you just left completely? God Max! I don't know what I would do if I didn't get to see your smile and the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. I hate the fact that I can't do half the things I want to, but having you here is what gets me through. It hurts so bad sometimes when I think of everything standing in our way, but I haven't lost hope yet. We'll find a way to get rid of this damned virus; I have to keep believing that. Otherwise what's the point?" Logan explained turning towards her.

          _'That's it guys. Keep talking. Just keep talking.'_

          "Exactly. What's the point?" Max yelled, shifting to face Logan.

          "Love, Max. Love is the point. I love you, and I'm not going to sit back and watch you walk out of my life. I can't do that. I love you Max. When are you going to see that and know that I'm willing to fight for this, for us." Logan said, finding her eyes and not letting Max break eye contact.

          "But, even if we do somehow find a cure, life will never calm down Logan. I'm not exactly a normal girl with normal problems." 

          "I don't care. That's what makes you who you are. That's what makes you Max."

          "How the hell are we going to have any kind of relationship when we can't even touch?" Max whispered sadly.

          "We'll find a way." He said weakly, knowing the same thought had passed through his mind before. 

          "Logan, I don't know if I can do this." Max cried, wanting nothing more than to curl up in his arms.

          "Just try. Don't walk out on me Angel. Please." He begged.

          "I won't. Promise." Max smiled sadly at the man across from her. "I don't think you heard me the last time I told you. I love you Logan." 

          "I heard you." He smiled. "How could I not hear the words I prayed I would?" 

          "Hey guys? I hate to interrupt, but…" Adriann said standing. "Maybe it's just so simple that none of us thought of it before. Frankly I'm surprised I didn't think of it sooner."

          " Dre, what are you talking about?" Logan asked after turning around to face her.

          "The virus is only transmitted through skin to skin contact."

          "Yeah, we know that Dre." Max cut in.

          "Skin to skin contact." She repeated a little slower, hoping they would make the connection. "You guys have to learn to think out side the box." Adriann said rounding the couch, taking Logan's hand and laying it on Max's thigh. "Skin to skin contact. Not skin to denim, or skin to cotton, or skin to leather. As long as you don't have any direct contact, you should be fine." Adriann told them. "Granted sex is still out of the question, but I would think you guys would take what you can get right about now." 

          Max and Logan stared at his hand, that slowly began to caress the material beneath it, for a moment before bursting into laughter of pure joy. 

          "I can't believe I never thought of that." Logan laughed shaking his head.

          "Some Ivy League grad you are." Max said pushing his shoulder. Smiling at the pair Adriann stepped back and sighed as she thought how close they had come to losing each other.

          "You two might want to invest in some gloves or something." Adriann said with a chuckle. "I'll leave you two alone." She added ducking out around the corner towards her room. 

          "Dre!" Logan called.

          "Yeah?" She said peeking around the corner with a smile. 

          "Thank you." He said with a sincere smile matching the one Max wore. 

          "Ehh..." Adriann waved off their gratitude. "It's in my job description." Turning back towards her room Adriann laughed hearing her sister giggle.

          "Be good you two!" She yelled just before shutting her bedroom door on another roar of laughter. 

          ~~*~~Got Me Down~~*~~

          Adriann sat down atop the space needle as she looked at the city lights. At this height, the cold January air held a great chilling frost and the wind dropped the temperature below freezing while it whipped her hair around into furious swirls. Adriann never really minded the cold; it let her know she was alive.

           As the city blurred into a kaleidoscope of lights her thoughts drifted from Alec to Ben, to Max and Logan, to Bling, to her last few months in Seattle. It hadn't taken long for things to get rough with Bling. He was a great guy, but Adriann carried baggage that he didn't know how to deal with. There were some things that she just couldn't talk about when it came to the night she nearly lost her life. Bling couldn't understand why she was scared of crows and why there were times she just needed to be alone and work things out on her own, and so many other things that just made them push each other away to avoid the arguments. Before she knew what hit her, Adriann found out Bling was seeing someone new. Although she knew the breakup was for the best on both their parts, it hit her hard, and Bling's marriage a few months later even harder. Bling was the first guy she had let herself love. But Heather really was a sweetheart, one of the nicest people she had ever met, making hating her completely impossible for Adriann.

          After Bling had moved on with his life, Adriann was still trying to cope with her life as more than a shadow. When Logan took her under his wing as more than Max's sister and more than just a roommate, but as a friend, Adriann had to admit she was a little surprised. Logan had always been cordial and accommodating, but she never expected a real friendship, mostly due to the deceptive and stressful beginning of their relationship. But being roommates must have changed something.

          Somehow, Logan could get Adriann to talk about how she felt about herself and situations, and some of the most painful moments in  her life. The trust built in those conversations was the greatest trust she had even had in anyone. Logan must have felt the same bond because one night he bared his soul to Adriann; talking about his other and how she had died, how he wished that just once he could see approval in his uncles eyes, how much he felt like a failure for not being able to Valerie from herself, and how much he truly does care about Max. 

          A week after their first discussion that lasted into the early morning hours, little traditions began to be formed. At least once a week they'd stay up and watch some stupid movie of the week from the 90's together on the couch. If they ever got into a fight, they both promised that they'd talk it out before they went to sleep and never go to bed angry at one another. Falling asleep together on the couch with the TV showing nothing but snow, playful verbal jousting, and quick pecks on the cheek or forehead and hugs became a regular part of their lives. Eventually, Logan even started to go to Crash with Max and Adriann and actually enjoy his time there. 

          Logan had become Adriann's best friend and Adriann his. They knew everything there was to know about each other and there wasn't a thing a they couldn't talk about. There was a feeling of perfect safety and trust that would be nearly impossible to break. Logan had even started calling her Dre. It wasn't until Adriann decided to move that they realized how dependant upon one another they had become. But it time for her to move on with her life and it was something she had to do, and they both knew that. 

          Adriann kept in touch with both Max and Logan through e-mails and phone calls, but it wasn't the same. She talked to Max about once a week, getting the updates on their friends, life and anything that came to mind. Their conversations were brief most times as phones calls with Max usually were. Every week there was a phone call with Logan; he insisted that he be the one who calls so the call would be on his phone bill, and there were at least 3 e-mails a week that past between them, often talking about nothing in particular.

          Adriann lived a peaceful life in northern California. She made money singing at a bar of sorts, living off any tips she may have earned. Money was tight at times, but she enjoyed her nights at the bar. Singing had always been something she loved, but could never pursue seriously because of the publicity that would risk her life. But ever since she won the karaoke contest at Crash Logan had been on her back about doing something with her talent. The conversation always ended in her laughing his suggestion off. Who would have guessed she'd actually listen to him?

          Now she was back in Seattle, the city Adriann considered home, because the two most important people in her life needed her. 'I only hope I can actually help, and not do more harm than good.' 

          Looking down at her watch, Adriann was surprised to see that three hours had passed. _'I should get back. Knowing Logan, he'll be lying awake in bed waiting to hear me come in so he knows I'm alright, then he'll be able to sleep.' Adriann smiled as she rose to her feet and looked out over the city once more. 'If only it was peaceful as it looks from here. Maybe one day it will be.'_

*_*

          When sounds of Logan in the kitchen the next morning floated down the hallway, Adriann closed the book she had been reading and left to join him.

          "Morning." She said taking two mugs down from the cupboard and setting them down on the counter. Looking up curiously at him when there was no response Adriann's heart lurched. 

          "What happened? You look like hell." She asked fearing his response. "Logan?" She asked softly, he simply continued with his morning routine putting two slices of bread in the toaster.

          "Logan?" Adriann asked again, as he reached past her for the butter. She watched him carefully, trying to gauge his emotions. '_What the hell happened? For him to be like this it must have been huge. He's quiet when he's upset, but this robotic zombie isn't like him at all. He hasn't even acknowledged my existence. If only I was here last night.'_

          When Logan reached to pick up the coffee pot Adriann grabbed his arm with one hand and turned his face towards hers with the other forcing him to look at her.

          "Logan talk to me! What the hell happened?" She yelled inches from his face. Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet hers revealing dark circles and unabashed pain. His eyes seemed so much bluer in contrast with the surrounding redness.

          _'He's been crying all night. How did I not hear him, or at least sense something was wrong? I thought I could still do at least that much.'_

          "She's gone." He rasped, not wanting to believe his own words.

          "What?" Adriann asked loosening her grip on his arm.

          "Max is gone. And I don't think that she's ever coming back." He said again as his already swollen eyes began to shine with tears.

          "She'll be back." Adriann told him, trying to calm his fears. "She's got too much to here to just walk away from it all. She's got to come back." Fighting her won tears, Adriann took Logan's shaking hand and led him to one of the stools by the counter and sat him down gently. 

          "What happened last night Logan?" She asked again, this time more gently as she smoothed his erratic and disheveled hair. 

          "Max…she dropped by last night…not long after you left. She said that she wanted to talk, because she was gonna come by tonight Cindy talked her into it or something. But she kept apologizing for the way things worked out with the virus and the 12 hour cure…she said she was sorry that I didn't hear her say she loved me… I told her to stop, none of it was her fault, and she did what she thought was right, what was the best thing for us. She was crying Dre. All I wanted to do was hold her, and I told her that I wanted to hold her until the end of time, and that would be enough for me…Just to have her in my arms forever. But she said that I can't, and might never be able to. She started yelling at me about how hopeless it all is. I reached out for her hand; I didn't care about the consequences. But she pulled away from me sobbing, asking me if I wanted to die. Then she stood up and looked at me with the saddest look I've ever seen and she whispered I can't do this anymore and walked out." Logan looked up at Adriann with complete hopelessness in his eyes. "I've lost her. I've really lost her." Leaning forward into Adriann's shoulder, Logan began to sob. Adriann wrapped  her arms around her broken-hearted best friend, not knowing what else to do other than just be there for him.

          _'Why did I have to go out last night? Why did I have to go to the space needle? If I had only been here I could have done something. I could have prevented this. I could have stopped all this pain. What's the point of me being here if I'm not gonna be around when the people I love need me most? But Logan needs me now, more than ever. The love of his life has just walked away for God knows how long. He can't lose his best friend too.'_

          "You're going to be okay." Adriann whispered. "You'll get through this, and Max will be back. She loves you more than she knows how to deal with, and she doesn't know what to do." She explained tightening her embrace. "But you'll be okay Logan. You'd be surprised what a heart can bear. You'll be fine." She repeated resting her cheek on the top of his head. "I promise you'll be fine."

~There you go people. Chapter 5 and the real beginning of the twist. I hope you liked it. Any thoughts, comments, questions, and criticisms are more than welcome…. Luvvbug101@hotmail.com 

~ I have to recommend Nina Gordon's CD Tonight and the Rest of My Life, cause it is really an incredible CD. And that would be where I got the names for each section…so please if you've got a second, and a few spare bucks…check it out….


	6. It's In My Job Description

What A Broken Heart Can Bear

Chapter 6: It's In My Job Description

~I know I know I know…I'm a horrible person. I don't know why some chapters take me forever and others take a mere matter of hours. I just hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me somehow…maybe? :o)  Yes? No? I hope so, cause I dunno what I'd do if you didn't. :o)

~Kat, as always you are the best! I love you! Thanks sooo much for everything….Kimmy you rock!

~Well anyhoo, no big changes if any in here that I need to tell ya about, so I guess I should just get to the story. 

~And just a brief venting from the author: I swear if Max and Alec hook up I will scream! And for the love of Mike, Max….Why couldn't you just say that Logan was wrong about what he saw? WHY GOD WHY?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?  If any Dark Angel writers are out there and reading this (though I dunno why you would be) GIVE US A BREAK PEOPLE! HAVE YOU NO HEART?!

Ok, I'm done…for now…

~~*~~Too Slow to Ride~~*~~

        Over the past few days Max and Logan had spent every available moment together, and then some. Things between them had become nearly the same as they had been; dinners filled with smiles and laughter. The massive canyon between them was at last a bit smaller allowing them to see each other from across it. Granted, the fact that if, even for a moment, their skin touched Logan would die still loomed in the back of their mind but, right now, they were too happy to worry much about it. They could finally touch. Not skin to skin, but they could touch. If it weren't for Adriann, the simple idea and temporary solution they now had would never have come to light, and they surely would not be together now. For that they would be forever grateful.

Unbeknownst to the happy pair, Adriann was working with an old friend, who happened to be a chemist and microbiologist, to find a more permanent solution to their problem. 

"Thanks again Wyatt. You're the best." Adriann said walking up beside the base for the phone. Logan looked up from his current culinary project when he heard Adriann across the room

"Okay…Yeah, don't worry about it…Will do." She turned her back on Logan with a roll of her eyes when she had had her fill of obnoxious looks and batting eye lashes. "Later." 

Casually walking into the kitchen and plopping down on the stool behind Logan, she waited for his onslaught of mocking questions to begin.

"So," he began, his back still turned to her, "who's Wyatt?"

"A friend." She stated, giving him no additional information. _'If he wants to be a moron about this, fine. I can play this game…hell, I am the reigning champ at this game.' _

"Just a friend?" Logan pressed, busying himself with adjusting the temperature of the oven and other unnecessary tasks for the newest Cale cuisine he was preparing for later that night.

"Yep." _'This is driving him nuts! Ha. He should have known better than to mess with the master.'_

"So when's your date?" He asked finally turning around.

"See, that's where you're mistaken, my friend. There is no date, because Wyatt is just a friend. But that must be hard for you to understand, considering how, for a year, you said that you and Max were just friends and you loved her the whole time. I can understand the confusion, but not all of us are swimming up denial." Adriann answered suppressing her laughter with an overly sweet smile and patting his cheek.

"Touché." Logan laughed, and returned to the dessert he was making on the counter next to Adriann.

"So what are you making?" Adriann asked looking down into the mixing bowl beside her.

 "A fruit tart. This is the custard filling I here," he said pointing to the contents of the bowl, "and the shell is in the oven as we speak. The fruit is in the fridge." 

"Uhhh…Logan." Adriann said poking at the mixture as if it were alive. "You sure you know what you're doing with this one."

"Yeah. Why?" He replied taking the milk from the refrigerator door.

"Well, I know you're the master of the culinary arts and all, but ummm…."

"What?" He asked setting the milk carton down behind her and leaned against the counter as he waited for he answer. Adriann looked up at Logan's questioning eyes and suddenly felt sorry for the man. 'Is it his fault that he can't bake? I mean it's a common misconception that if you are a god in the kitchen that you can automatically become a god in the bakery. Poor thing.' Sliding off the stool, Adriann picked up the bowl and turned to face Logan. 

"Where on earth did you learn to bake?! I mean really Logan…did you honestly think that custard is supposed to look like baby poop?" Laughing hysterically, Adriann began to dump Logan's baking mishap in the garbage.

"Ok..." Logan admitted, laughing just as hard as Adriann, "So I suck at fruit tarts."

"And cookies, and cakes, and brownies, and home made Popsicles. I mean really Logan, how do you mess up Popsicles?"

"Just good I guess." He grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah. Throw me the dish towel will ya." She added after quickly washing out the bowl and patiently held out her hand behind her. 

"OWWW!" Adriann yelped when the end of the towel cracked against her butt. She spun around to see Logan nearly doubled over in laughter. "What the hell was that for?!" Dre demanded.

"That was for insulting my baking and then throwing it in the garbage!" He told her.

"Oh please. It was awful and you know it." She smiled as she grabbed the small hose from the sink, making sure Logan didn't see it coming. 

"But still, it was a work in progress. And you're one to talk…BAAHH!" Logan sputtered as his sentence was interrupted by a stream of water hitting him in the face. "Hey!"

"That's for smacking my ass with the towel!" She laughed.

"Oh this is war!" He laughed as he took a handful of the chocolate glaze he had made for his tart and launched it at Adriann. Squealing with laughter, Adriann ran behind Logan with her superhuman speed and picked up the container with the glaze.

"No fair…you're cheating. Adriann don't…please…no…" He laughed seeing the mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Don't do what? Oh…this?" She asked pointing to her ammunition. "Nope sorry. I think I'm gonna go with this one. It's just to good to pass up. And don't' try running, cause I'll catch you and make you wish you never ran." Adriann laughed as she slowly moved towards him and began to raise the container. Knowing that he was doomed, Logan held his hands up in surrender. At the last moment, when Dre was just about to dump the glaze over his head, Logan grabbed her arm and twisted it so she would pour the glaze on herself.

"Oh no you don't!" Fighting back, Adriann tried to counter his attack, but ended up spilling the majority of the glaze on the floor. As the two began to laugh harder looking at one another with streaks of chocolate glaze dripping down their faces, Logan lost his balance when his feet slipped on the sugary mess on the floor. Adriann tried to catch him, but the weight difference and her own unexpected slip sent the both crashing to the ground, landing in a heap and coated with the rejected glaze.

"Kinky…Maybe I should leave you two alone. And don't worry guys I won't tell Max." Alec said leaning over the edge of the counter to watch the pair laughing hysterically on the floor in a very incriminating position.

Logan and Adriann froze instantly at the sound of the familiar and unwelcome voice. _'Wonderful.'_ Adriann looked up at Logan helplessly, silently reminding him that she couldn't move until he did because  she was pinned beneath him. As the realization hit him, Logan scrambled to his feet, then help Dre to hers, and tried to regain his composure. 

"Alec. What can I do for you?" Logan asked with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Hey sis!" Alec said in a far too perky manor. "How ya doin'?"

"Alec." Adriann replied her tone dripping with disdain, but it didn't hold a candle to the glare Alec was doing his best to dodge._ 'What is he up to?'_

"Alec?" Logan asked, pulling Alec out of his silence.

"Oh, yeah. Could you whip up some sector passes for this friend of mine. She got into a little trouble with the cops…" He explained vaguely, picking up an apple from the counter and rubbing it on his shirt for the nice shinny look. 

"What did she get kicked off her corner and has no where left to go?" Adriann hissed.

"Dre." Logan whispered, as he gently laid a hand on the small of her back for comfort. Sending him a sidelong glance of gratitude, Adriann forced herself to relax.  

"Sure." Logan said distracted by Adriann's reaction to Alec…apparently they had met. "Just give me a few minutes to get them together." He continued walking off towards his office. Alec fell into step behind him, but stopped abruptly when Adriann grabbed his arm.

"We need to talk." 

"Hey, ease up on the grip there She-ra." He whined pulling away from his sister once they  had reached the end of the hallway furthest away from Logan's office.  

"So how long have you and Logan been getting busy?" He asked teasingly.

"That is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." Adriann sighed. "This will probably be hard for you to understand being a womanizing pig, but Logan is my best friend and nothing more. And what you saw meant nothing more than your frequent one night stands." She explained, her voice reaching a dangerously low level.

"Now I am a forgiving person, brother dearest. But I swear to you, if you do anything to hinder, threaten, sabotage, or destroy Max and Logan's relationship…I will make your life a living hell in ways that you can't even imagine." 

If Alec hadn't seen the look of in her eyes himself, he would have thought that it was a joke. Even though he had just met his sister, he never would have imagined the huge and threatening persona that Adriann could exude. To be honest, Alec was scared.

"You follow?" Adriann asked.

"Yeah. I follow. But, Adriann…I would never do anything to intentionally hurt Max or Logan. They're family…" Alec told her, trying to mask his fear. "I hope you believe that." 

Adriann looked up at Alec, and for a moment she saw the brother she had hoped he would be and her expression softened. _'Could there really be a beating heart under that gruff exterior? Or is this just one more of his acts? I want so badly for him to be a real brother…for a real friendship…but is he capable of having one without any ulterior motives? I don't know if I'm willing to take that risk. But I will not put Max and Logan's life together on the line. That's for damn sure.'_

"I wish I could Alec, I really do. But I…I just don't know. But please…" Adriann admitted searching his eyes for some sign of humanity. 

"Don't worry, I'm pulling for them just as much as you are. But I'm not one to get my hands dirty in the love affairs of others." He told her, his usual wit once again present. 

"Shocking." Adriann rolled her eyes and walked towards the bathroom door. "I'm gonna take a shower and attempt to get this glaze out of my hair. So seeing as how Logan's got your little friends sector passes for you, you can go. And don't let the door hit you on the way out." Adriann smiled sarcastically before disappearing into the large guest bathroom.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Alec mumbled. "Hey, Logan! You done?" He called walking back into the kitchen.

"Yeah, here you go. I hope they help." Logan handed over the small package with the forged documents inside. "Where'd Adriann go?" He asked curiously.

"Shower…you know chicks…can't let anything happen to their hair." Alec told him flippantly. "Thanks."

"Not a problem."

"So, I'll see you later." Alec said awkwardly, as he headed for the door.

"Sure."

~~*~~

"Dre?" Logan called, knocking on her bedroom door later that night, after he too had showered and cleaned up the remaining mess in the kitchen.

"Hey." She said opening the door and letting him in. Instead of being in the flannel pants and tank top Logan had expected to see, Adriann was dressed to go out.

"You look nice. Where are you going?" He asked jokingly, as he sat down on the edge of her bed.

"You and Max need some alone time tonight. And I don't wanna crash your romantic diner for two, by making a diner for three. So I'm gonna go to Crash, hang with gang, make some friends, and hopefully have a good time." Adriann smiled throwing the top section of her hair up into her typical spunky  knot. 

"Dre, you don't  have to do that. You're more than welcome to stay…this is your home too now, remember?" Logan told her, feeling slightly guilty.

"I know. But I want to." Adriann smiled at Logan's unwarranted guilt and applied the little make up she wore. 

"I wanted to thank you again for everything you've done."

"It's nothing Logan. Really."

"Dre, you saved our lives. It is most definitely not nothing." Logan insisted.

"Ehh…it's in my job description. Right there in the best friend manual. Page 5 I think. " Adriann said brushing off the importance of her actions.

"You really don't have to leave tonight. You know that right?" Logan told her again, hoping that she didn't feel like she was being thrown out.

"It won't kill me to make some new friends. Plus, like I said, you two need some time without any interruptions…and if there are any unforeseen Manticore related issues, I'll take care of them. And drag Alec along just for kicks." 

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Alec." Logan said changing the subject; grateful for the seg-way he didn't need to create on his own.

"That's what I figured." Adriann said turning around and leaning against her dresser. "I saw him the other night when I went out. I actually thought he was Ben for a minute." 

"Are you okay? That's got to be hard, seeing him again…but knowing it's not really Ben." Logan asked gently. He didn't want to press the issue, but he did want to make sure Adriann was okay.

"Yeah, I mean at first I was a little confused. Then I was pissed that he was such an ass, but then I was like…what did you expect…he's not Ben. Once I accepted that, I was good. Alec is still an ass, and he probably always will be…so what can I do." She told Logan, purposely leaving out how badly she wanted Alec to be a real friend and brother. _'I don't feel like getting into that right now. Besides, he doesn't have time for that now - Max will be here any minute.'_

"Dre, what aren't you telling me?" Logan persisted. _'You know me too well Logan. But at least it's mutual.'_

"Nothing you need to know about now. We'll talk later though, okay?" She explained, walking up to him.

"Promise?" 

"Yes, Logan. I swear on my right pinky toe, that we will continue this conversation some time in the near future." She joked, kneeling down next to him, so they would be level.

"Okay." He smiled.

"Can I go out and play now Dad?" Adriann asked mockingly.

"Go ahead." Logan said shaking his head. "Have fun."

"You too…and as always, be good." Adriann reminded and kissed his cheek, making sure to leave a perfect lip print. "I'll see you tomorrow when you tell me all the juicy details of the night." She added pulling on her boots and her leather jacket, that every transgenic seemed own. 

"And talk about Alec…" Logan reminded with a grin.

"Yeah that too." Adriann laughed. Pulling Logan to his feet, Adriann shut off the light and walked into the kitchen to get a bottled water.

"Ok, you think you can manage to serve the fruit tart with out killing it?" Adriann smirked, looking from the tart to Logan.

"I think I can handle that." He chuckled. "Thanks for fixing that by the way." Dre waved her hand in dismissal as she drank down the cold water.

"I'll see you later Sweets." She said with one more quick peck on his cheek. 

"Okay Hun." He said returning her kiss. 

"Be careful." They called to each other simultaneously as Adriann walked out the door.

~~*~~Got Me Down~~*~~ 

     Adriann quietly closed the penthouse door behind her before setting the phone back in its base.  She had just gotten off the phone with Original Cindy for about the hundredth time in the past three days – each time talking about Max's sudden disappearance.  

Adriann could only hope that she'd come back, but  when she found out that Max had taken a handful of clothes and her sole picture of Logan that once sat on her dresser, Adriann began to have her doubts.  Sighing, Adriann tenderly massaged her temples trying to relieve the tension that had built up over the past few days.  But most of all, Adriann was worried about Logan.  He hadn't moved from the couch since she sat him down on it, and he didn't seem to have any intention of moving in the near future either.  

     '_Max, you've got to come back to him.' _She walked a few feet forward so she could see Logan's unmoving figure._ 'He's dying inside and you don't even know it…and you don't seem to care all that much. Because if you did, maybe you would have stopped just for a second to think about what you were about to do, and how it would affect everyone around you. But as usual Maxie, you were only thinking of yourself and how hard it was for you. Well, guess what Max…the world does not revolve around you and all your problems that you have to deal with. So get you ass back here and clean up your own mess…because I don't want to do it.'_

Blinking back tears Adriann walked the remaining distance to the couch to join Logan. _'But unlike you, I'm gonna stick by him, especially when it gets tough.'_

"Sit up a little." She whispered, gently lifting his shoulders just enough for her to slide underneath them and sit down. Logan shifted to make room for his friend and laid his head down in her lap as she pulled a blanket over him.  "There you go. Better?"

"How's Cindy?" He asked uninterestedly.

"She's hanging in there. But it's you I'm worried about." Adriann told him, her eyes never leaving his face.

"Well, don't be." 

"The last time you  were like this you almost killed yourself. And you don't want me to be worried?" She asked disbelievingly.  "How could I not be? God, Logan! You've been laying here for so long that if you don't move soon, you'll become a permanent part of this damn couch." She told him bluntly, but softened with her next statement. "I know how much this hurts…"

"You don't have a clue." He cut in.

"Don't I?" She let her question hang in the air for a moment before continuing. "Logan, you have to stop doing this. It's not  healthy. You're really starting to scare me. I have never seen you like this, and it kills me to see you this way and know that I can't do anything about it. And not for nothing Logan, but the odds that Max is doing this…" she gestured to Logan's body sprawled out across the couch cushions, "are slim to none." 

"It's just not fair Dre." He whispered, moving a bit closer and taking the she had resting on his arm in his.

"I know it's not." 

"I mean I don't know what's worse…holding her in my arms as she died, knowing that she didn't want to leave, or hearing her say she loves me and knowing that she left because she wanted to. I feel like she took a piece of me with her when she walked out that door and now the rest of me is dying without it." Adriann began to absently stroke Logan's unwashed hair as she watched yet another tear fall for her sister. _'Max, right now…sadly I'm ashamed to call you my sister. To think that you could do something so heartless, without a second thought…I don't know who you are anymore Maxie. I'm not sure I want to.'_

"Even though it feels like you're dying inside, you have to remember that there are so many people that love you who are still right here with you. Do you really want to inflict the pain that you feel now on them? Because if you continue this, you will. And I know that's the last thing you want. But think of all the people who need you, who need Eyes Only. You have no idea how much of an impact one person can have on the lives of others." 

"You will make it through this…you will smile again, you will laugh again, and the pain will dull. I can promise you that." The only response that he gave was a quiet grunt.

"A very wise man once told me that 'No man is worth your tears, and the only one who is will never make you cry.' The same goes for women too you know."

"Oh really?" He asked with a slight smile. "Well maybe that guys isn't as smart as you think he is."

"He got me through one of the hardest times in my life. He helped me deal with living my life outside the shadows and pick up the pieces of my heart. He made me see that despite what people may say, I really…am…human."  

"Hmmm."

"I don't want to know what I'd do without him. He's my lifesaver. Just when I think that there's no way out and I'm too tired to fight anymore, he picks me up and pulls me to safety, or shows me that I have the strength to do it myself."

"Is that so?" Logan asked, sounding slightly shocked at his role in her life.

"Yep."

"Who is this guy? Superman?" Logan said, trying to minimize her image of him.

"Nope. This is the guy who's gonna be a love and take a shower for me." She said smiling down at Logan, who had turned to look at her.

"Oh is he?" For the first time in three days Adriann could see a spark of life in Logan's eyes, finally letting her breathe a sigh of relief.

"Yes he is. Because we already have enough problems with our O-Zone layer and the fumes that are coming from him aren't helping to fix the problem." Adriann joked.

"Are you saying I smell?" Logan asked pretending to be insulted.

"I'm saying that if it weren't for all the air fresheners that I have in this joint…the whole apartment would reek and need to be evacuated for the health and safety of it's residents."

"Ok, ok, I'll shower." Logan said almost laughing.

"Thank you Logie." Adriann said, helping him to his feet, in an overly sweet tone.

"You know I hate that." He said once he was standing, with at least ten inches on her he attempted to let his height be intimidating.

"Yep." Stepping up onto the couch so she would be at eye level with him Adriann smiled and kissed his forehead. "Logan, you are my best friend and I love you. But right now…you stink. So go take a shower – bring the Lysol with you – and we'll talk later. There's something I want to show you." 

"Okay." Turning towards his bathroom Logan paused to face her once again. "Thank you Adriann. I don't deserve you, and I don't know why you put up with me and take care of me the way you do."

"I could always leave…" Adriann quipped, trying to cover the fact of how touched she truly was. _'Not that I ever could.'_

"Hey, I never said I was complaining." He replied with a genuine smile. "But seriously, I can't thank you enough."

"No need to. It's in my job description."

"No, it's not." Logan whispered as he entered his bedroom, knowing that Adriann would hear him and not say a word.

~~*~~

Adriann led Logan down the sand dune that evening, still surprised that she was doing this. Never before had she brought anyone with her to see Ben.

"Is this…?" Logan ventured seeing the large boulder off to the left on the beach. Adriann took his hand and slowly walked to the face of the boulder where she had carved her name along with Ben and Bling's, who later added his name at her request. Timidly reaching out her hand, Adriann touched the carved names as if they would burn her. _'There are so many memories here. So much pain…but so much healing.'_

"You okay?" Logan asked wrapping an arm around her shoulders, after seeing a tear slide down her cheek.

"Yeah." Adriann said swatting at the tear. "Come here, we're just in time." She said finding a foot hold and pulling herself up onto the giant rock, then offering her hand down to Logan. After helping him up, Adriann sat down facing the ocean and patted the spot beside her telling Logan to join her. 

"I've never seen a sunset like this anywhere else." Adriann said wistfully, as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

"It is beautiful." Logan agreed, wrapping his arms around her and resting his cheek on her head as she leaned into him.

"I guess the reason I brought you here was to show you that you will be ok. Every hurt that I have ever had has ended up here in one way or another. Ben…Bling…and all the memories I have of my past still float in the air after I told my secrets to the ocean. But every hurt has also been every joy. Logan, I want you to carve your name here too…and let this become the place you run to when you need to just get away. I can't tell you how many times I've let my sorrows drown with the sun at sunset. I don't know what it is about this place, but it's a place of incredible healing."

Logan gently rocked her back and forth as the sun sank into the sea, bringing an end to another day of tears and heart break. The idea that Dre would share such a private place with him blew Logan away. Every time Adriann shared a painful piece of her life with him he was surprised. He had never known such great compassion and understanding in anyone in all his life, let alone from a person who was taught to have no emotion whatsoever. He gently kissed the side of her head.

"Thank you…again. I know you're right…I will be okay, eventually. It just hurts so bad right now. Almost if there's a black hole in me that sucks every ounce of hope into it. But I have so much to be grateful for, and I have to remember that…try to look at the good I have rather than the bad." Logan hugged her a little tighter. "And again you're right, there is something about the sunset here that makes everything just seem to fade away."

"You know…if you keep telling me that I'm right, it might go to my head. You don't want me to get and ego now do you?" Adriann smirked, turning her head up to see him.

        "Oh God no…" He countered with a smile.

        "Because really, who needs a set of overly arrogant twins running around Seattle?" Adriann laughed, for the first time where Alec was concerned, and it felt good. _'Maybe we could actually have a friendship…he's just as lost as I am. We need each other, or will eventually.'_

        "Adriann…have I told you lately that you're my best friend and that I'd be lost without you?"  
        "Uhhh, yes actually. But thanks."

        "I love you sweetie."

        "I love you too…even if you are a slacking cyber hacking journalist."

        "Ouch." Logan chuckled as he lightly kissed the top of Adriann's head.

        "Come on, let's get your name carved in this sucker." Adriann said bouncing to  her feet and pulling Logan to his.

        "What are we going to use to carve it?" Logan asked looking around the beach.

        "Think this will work?" Adriann asked laughing as she pulled a large throwing knife from her Manticore standard leather jacket.

        "I guess that would work." Logan answered, carefully taking the knife from her grasp with a grin. 

~OK PEOPLE…I NEED YOU ALL TO DO ME A FAVOR………GO READ ILUVAQT'S NEWEST FIC…OH IT'S A GIRLS NIGHT OUT ….AND REVIEW!!!!!

~Thanks soooo much guys for reading! Any and all feed-back is welcome…just no death threats please….lol…Thankx again people…… luvvbug101@hotmail.com


	7. The Way Things Are Going

What a Broken Heart Can Bear

Chapter 7: The Way Things Are Going…

~ Well I'm back with yet another chapter of my lil fic…and to be honest I have no idea how the majority of you feel about it. Because either you aren't reviewing or you just aren't reading it all together. I don't know. But I am actually quite insecure when it comes to 'Broken' because I am all too aware that many of you may not be too pleased with the idea of the story and its possibilities. So if you do read this could you do me a HUGE favor and somehow review….even if it's just a rank of 1-5 or something just to let me know that you read it. I know I'm not the only author out there who feels this way…so please for the sanity of all the fan fic authors out there… Be cool – review….ok so I'm a dork (no Kat, not a dork) I never said I wasn't.

~Ok, just a quick AN: In the first paragraph Adriann makes a comment about her age, then says well sort of…that refers back to "Adriann" and how she isn't really the age that she appears to be because of Lydecker cloning her and transferring her memories, which resulted in her accelerated aging…thus the sort of… Got it? :o) 

~Oh yeah, one more AN: Now seeing as how I am the author of this lil story, I think I'm allowed to play with the passage of time…so let's just say that the discoveries of the public…like transgenics in general, then the fat that there are transgenics who look just like them, exist…still happen, just on a bit of a different time scale…I'll let you know what's going – promise – so keep an eye out for the info in any ANs…k?

~Alright, I've babbled enough,  now on with the show…

~~*~~ Too Slow To Ride~~*~~

           _'I should have seen this coming.'_ Adriann pulled her knees up to her chest a bit further as another wave of seizures hit her. The cold bathroom floor wouldn't have been her first choice to battle any bout with her seizures, but this morning they had hit so fast and so hard that she had hardly had a chance to sit down before losing her strength. '_Why else would I have felt like hell yesterday? Really Dre, you should have noticed…all the signs were there. You were tired, weak, you felt queasy, and dizzy…What did you think was goin' on…morning sickness? Not likely…impossible really. You should know this by now! You're almost 22 years old…well, sort of.' _

Once the latest wave had died down somewhat, Adriann tried to drag herself to her feet and get her medication from the cabinet. _'Oh…damn it! Son of a…'_ Just as she reached her full height another wave hit her fast and hard, instantly draining what little strength her legs had managed to find. Adriann crumbled to the ground with a loud thud, narrowly missing the sink with her head. _'So much for keeping Logan out of the loop on this one.'_ Just as she was finishing the thought Logan burst into the bathroom, unconcerned with the possibility that she was fine or anything but decent. He knew that she had originally gone in there to shower, and most people tend to not wear their clothes while they're in there.

"Dre! My God. Adriann, are you ok?" He asked dropping to his knees and cradled her head in his lap.

"Tryp – tryp- tryptophane." Adriann sputtered. Shaking violently, Adriann watched as Logan sprung to his feet and gently pushed some pills into her mouth.

"Why didn't you call me?" He whispered, sitting down on the floor with his back against the door and pulling Adriann into his arms.

"Didn't...want...to…wor…worry...you." She said, grabbing his arm tightly to stabilize herself. Logan sighed adjusting his legs so that they could help hold Dre's convulsing relatively still.

"It's bad today isn't it?" Logan asked, already knowing the answer. 

Temporarily unable to speak, Adriann nodded. Exhausted from her seizures, Dre gave up fighting them and just let go and let them run their course. Logan had been around for a few of Max's seizures, but most of his experience came from living with Adriann. She didn't have them very often, but when she did, they came with little to no warning and made sure to wreak havoc in her body for as along as possible.  

Twenty minutes later the tryptophane began to take an obvious effect, allowing Adriann to slowly walk to the couch with Logan's help.

"Lay down, get yourself comfortable, and I'll make you some chicken soup." He told her gently laying a blanket over her and brushing the hair from her sweat soaked forehead.

"The kind in the can?" She asked weakly. Logan smiled sadly, she always sounded so small and young after her seizures. 

"The kind in the can." 

Adriann smiled as she settled down into the couch. For the first time in hours she could sit back and breathe. _'You'd think the mad scientists back at Manticore could come up with a way to fix the wiring up there. But no…make 'em suffer. It will ensure loyalty and make us strong…blah blah blah…insert Manticore psychobabble here…blah blah blah…I bet they never thought it would piss us off…or dare to try and make it on our own. But we did. How you like them apples Deck? Hmmm? I hope you all choke on your damn apples.'_

"Here you go Hun." Logan said as he walked into the living room, carefully balancing a tray with Adriann's soup on it.

"Thanks Logan." She said sitting up a bit.

"Not a problem. I'm just glad I could do something." Logan said sitting down beside her curled up legs.

A few minutes passed in a comfortable silence as Adriann ate her soup. When she had finished Logan put the try on the coffee table and readjusted his position to face Dre more. 

"So, how'd last night go?" She asked pulling her knees to her chest and leaning sideways on the back of the couch so it acted as a pillow for her head.

"I was wondering how long it'd take you to ask." Logan chuckled, adjusting the blanket once again covering her toes.

"You are so retarded. I'm not gonna die if my toe isn't covered by the blanket." Adriann joked, sticking her foot out from underneath the blanket. 

"I don't want you to get chilled. You already broke out in a cold sweat earlier." Logan informed.

"Yeah but I was on the bathroom floor seizing. I think this is a little different." She countered.

"Dre, please. Just stay covered up...for me?" Logan asked, his concern  for her well being obvious.

"Fine." She sighed, "But I want details mister." Adriann ordered covering her foot.

"Thank you." Logan smiled. "It was  nice. We had dinner and desert – thanks again by the way, Max loved it. The tension that we had become so accustomed to having between us was barely there. We didn't have to worry about keeping a 10 foot radius between us, all we had to do, was avoid any direct contact. Dre, we talked for hours last night. I can't tell you what time Max left...we'd been talking for so long. I wanted to continue to too, but being just a plain ole human got the better of me and I started to doze off.  Max finally insisted that she go home and let me get some sleep, and of course refused my offer for her to stay the night.  It was almost like the old days.  Almost." Logan sighed, with a content yet slightly sad smile. 

"It was after 2 am, I can tell you that much." Adriann offered, with a knowing smile.

"How would you know? You came home after I went to bed." He told her.

"Not  really. I came home at  about 2...after dragging my feet for an hour and a half trying to kill some time.  I was really quiet...cat like." Adriann added with a smile  seeing Logan's look of confusion. "I was trained to make sure no one would know that I was around. I never said that some of Manticore's training wasn't practical for everyday life."

"Uh-huh." 

"I'm glad it went well. I really am, even though someone needs to look up the definition of details." Adriann  smiled, genuinely happy for Logan.  

"Thanks." Logan paused for a moment and looked at Adriann, as if he were questioning whether or not he should say something.

"Oh just say it." She grumbled, knowing what was coming.

"Tell me about Alec. And remember, you promised you'd spill last night." Logan reminded her.

"Well, there's really not much to it...I mean Alec is my brother – for the most part anyway.  I would love to have the relationship with Alec that I did with Ben, but that's not possible because he's not Ben. Like I said last night, Alec is an ass, probably always will be, but that doesn't mean that I don't want  him in my life. Cause in the end, he is still my brother.  And oddly enough, I think he knows that, and might actually understand it. But I'll just have to wait and see. Cause as I'm sure you've figured out, the psychic chip isn't working too well lately." Adriann said tapping her temple. 

"Why do I have the feeling you're making this seem a lot less important to you than it really is?" Logan said, calling Dre on her BS. 

"Because you know me far too well?" Adriann asked raising her eyebrows.  Logan mirrored her expression, obviously not happy with her answer. "Or because I am?" she conceded and sat up.

"Why not just admit the fact that you want a brother again...or that you want your brother back, even though it's not Ben? Really Adriann, this is me you're talking to.  If you can admit it to anyone, I would hope it'd be to me." Logan  said with a sigh, hurt by her lack of openness with him.

"I don't even know if I can admit it to myself yet Logan, let alone say it out loud to anyone else...it's just that, he looks so much like Ben and sometimes he'll do something and it reminds me so much of Ben, that for a second I'll think it really is him.  I'm just worried that I'll be expecting too much from him, or expect what I would of Ben...or start to think of him as Ben..." Adriann sighed deeply, "I just don't want to be unfair to him. He means too much to me to ruin any chance of a friendship."

"But Dre, it's got to be like – "

"Getting my brother back from the dead?" She finished for him. "Yeah, it is...and that's part of it too. I guess I'm afraid of getting too close and losing him all over again."

"Dre," Logan began leaning forward and taking her face in his hands and looked at her intently, "You are not doomed to lose everyone in your life that you love. And just because Ben died, doesn't mean that the same thing is going to happen with Alec...or anyone else for that matter. You have the right to be happy just as much as anyone else in this world, and I'll be damned if I stand by and watch it pass you over." 

"If you say so." Adriann smiled and leaned forward resting her forehead on Logan's chest. "I'm tired." She murmured, as Logan wrapped his arms around her. 

"You should be...you've had a rough morning. Why don't you try and get some sleep. Let your body recover from this morning's exertion." He told her, smoothing her hair. 

Logan gently lay the half asleep Adriann down on the couch, pulled the blanket  up from its current place on the floor and softly kissed her forehead.

"Sweet dreams." He whispered  before standing up and walking over towards the kitchen, dirty dishes in hand.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Max crept into Logan's apartment later that afternoon, deciding to cut out from work early. She had had enough of Normal for one day.  Hearing Logan quietly  humming to the symphony he had playing in the kitchen,  Max soundlessly sat down on a bar stool and watched Logan continue to clean the already spotless counter top.  However, the sight of Adriann passed out on the couch hadn't failed to escape her attention.  Leaning forward onto the counter, Max rested her chin in her hands and waited  to see how long it would take Logan to notice she was there.

"I really am flattered that you're staring at my ass and all, but  I don't want you to drool on my nice, clean counter top." Logan said playfully with his back still turned to her.

"I am not drooling...yet." Max shot back with a grin as he turned around to face her.

"Hey." Logan said walking up beside her, and leaning back on the counter.

"Hey." Max smiled up at him for a moment before her thoughts drifted to Adriann. "What's wrong with Dre?" She asked, concern written in her features.

"Well," Logan said sighing and running a hand through his already disheveled hair, "She had a really nasty bout of seizures this morning – on the bathroom floor. She collapsed in there; almost hit  her head on the sink. It was bad Max. She ended up being so exhausted  that she just gave up trying to keep her convulsions under control and went limp in my arms. Max, I don't think I've ever seen one that bad."  Logan looked down and rolled his neck from side to side, trying to work out the kinks.

"How is she now?" Max asked looking towards her sister.

"Tired - Exhausted. But okay. I think." Logan said with a sigh of relief.

Max nodded, equally relieved.  Shifting nervously, Max turned to look at Logan and calmed her nerves.

"I had a lot of fun last night." She told him quietly.

"Me too. Though I wish I could have kissed you goodnight." Logan said to her, his voice dropping both in volume and tone.

"At least a kiss." Max said with a devious twinkle in her eyes.

"At least." He echoed suggestively. "But we did get to talk...and have some contact." Logan reminded, resisting the urge to brush a stray strand of hair from her eyes and settled for resting his hand on her sleeved arm.  Max closed her eyes and smiled at the contact. It was something that had become impossible and now it was something she cherished.  

"We'll figure something out Max. It will just take some...time."

"But how much time?" Max asked, her face taking on the innocence of a child. 

"Not much longer. I can promise you that." Adriann said softly while slowly and carefully walking into the kitchen.

"How you feeling?" Both Max and Logan asked in perfect time with each other.

"I've felt better, but I'm alive so who can complain?" She told them dismissively. "But, I  can promise you that things won't be like this much longer. Everything is going to be okay." 

"Dre, what are you talking about?" Max asked gently.

"I'm gonna go shower and change, then Logan, I'm gonna have to borrow Max for a little while." Adriann said ignoring Max's question and Logan's questioning gaze.

"You mind if I ask why?" Logan said eying her carefully.

"Yeah." She replied shortly, turning on her heel and heading for the bathroom.  Pausing  for just a moment, Adriann looked back at Max silently telling her that everything was okay and not to worry. That this was a good thing.

"Adriann." Logan called, his voice taking on a parental quality.

"Don't worry Logan. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm not gonna over exert myself. I'm not gonna think too hard. I'm not gonna run a mile or fight some big bad-ass bad guys or even go into heat. I just need to borrow her for a few hours and then I'll bring her right back, unharmed, exactly as she left." Adriann told him, knowing exactly what he was going to say, as if she were a teenager speaking to her parents. Max fought to stifle to her laugh, but it was a losing battle. She burst out laughing at the verbal jousting taking place between her boyfriend and sister. It was entertainment that she didn't often get to witness, though she knew as often as it did between Alec and herself…Only it wasn't has hostile.

"Logan. Let her shower and get ready. I'll make sure that nothing happens, and if by chance something does, who better than an X5 to take care of another X5?" Max said, as Adriann continued to the bathroom.

"I know. It's just…I worry about her sometimes; Especially when she gets hit as hard as she did this morning by yet another seizure. I don't ever want to know what life would be like without her, Max. She's my best friend. I mean look what she did for us, and all the other transgenics…I don't ever want to lose her." Logan confessed shyly, because he didn't want Max to think that he loved her any less. 

"I know Logan. I'm just as scared as you are about losing her. But if I have anything to do with it, Dre will be here forever." Max told him, laying her hand on his arm.

"I love you." Logan said looking into her eyes.

"I love you too." Max whispered.

~~*~~*~~*~~

"How did you find this guy?" Max asked with a grin so large that it almost looked painted on.

"A friend of a friend…or something like that." Adriann laughed. _'It's great seeing her this happy. I haven't in a long time – if ever.'_

"Okay, so here's the plan," Wyatt said walking back into the room Carrying a tray with three vials, a syringe, and a petrie dish, "I'm going to test the serum on a sample of Max and Logan's blood, then if everything goes as planned – which it will – I'll give Max the injection and within two hours…all will be well and life will be good." He finished setting the tray down onto the lab table. 

"How did you come up with a cure for this thing?" Max asked, watching Wyatt introduce her blood sample to the serum. 

"Reprogrammed the virus to lay dormant until exposed to a rare genetic disorder called Turners Syndrome – which Logan doesn't have - Until then it just sits in your system harmless to all." Wyatt said distractedly. "Yep…there it is…yes…we're good to go…"

"His grandfather, father and brother were all involved in creating biochemical diseases and other weapons for bio-warfare…and since the virus is based on Zycihor, I figured who better to work on a bio-warfare agent than the guy who makes 'em?" Adriann whispered to Max, while Wyatt was busy filling the syringe with the proper amount of the life changing serum.

"This is going to work right?" Max asked for about the hundredth time, afraid to get her hopes up to once again have them shattered into a million pieces.

"I'd bet my life on it." Adriann said taking Max's hand and giving it a squeeze. _'God, if you're there and you're listening…please, let this work. These two deserve something to go right for them. Please…just let this work.'_

"Ready?" Wyatt asked Max, looking at her for the first time as a real person and not just a lab rat.

"As I'll ever be." Max sighed and closed her eyes. It wasn't that the needle bothered her, or that the idea of getting a shot did…it was everything that the serum held within it that made her nervous. Too much was riding on one little serum.

"It's going to be fine." Adriann whispered in Max's ear. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Max turned to face her sister and slowly nodded in agreement.

~~*~~*~~*~~

_'Who would have thought that in a matter of hours, two peoples lives could do a complete 180? I mean it's virtually unthinkable…but it happened just the same. But when you think about it, our lives, are virtually unthinkable…the fact that we're here, alive at all…yet here we are living our lives the best we can.'_ Adriann sat on the top of the Space Needle later on that night. She had given Max and Logan the apartment for the night, knowing that they'd make good use of it. _'Wyatt was right…life is going to be good, and Max is truly going to be happy for the first time in her life. The virus is cured, she knows Logan loves her and she loves him, granted things on the Manticore front aren't particularly calm, but it could be worse. Renfro…burn in hell. You do not screw with my family and not pay for it.'_

_'But now that things are looking up for Max and Logan, it looks like I'm gonna have to start taking care of Adriann. Alec…I should go talk to Alec. That's what a smart person would do. And I have been told that I am a smart person…but I don't wanna…well yeah I do, but…Just admit it Adriann. You. Are. Scared.'_ Sighing, Adriann leaned back on her hands. _'I'm scared. I'm scared as hell, actually. But I've got a choice…either have a brother or don't. He's not Ben and never will be…but, Alec is your brother just the same. Hell, he probably even has good aspects to him………I'm gonna go talk to him. If Max and Logan could survive the last few months and finally find a solution…then damn it, I can talk to Alec and actually start building a relationship.'_

Adriann stood up, and looked out over the city she considered home, and laughed to herself. _'It looks like we really could have a happy ending here for everyone. Who would have thought? Manticore kids getting happy endings…seems impossible…but it's not. For the first time, I really think that everything is going to work out for us…Everything's going to be okay.'_

Walking back to the small room at the top of the Space Needle Adriann laughed and ran a hand through her long brown hair with a smile._ 'Logan would kill me if he knew I was up here after this morning. Oh well, what he doesn't know can't hurt him. Hmmmmm…I wonder what would be a good time to go back home tomorrow morning? Cause, as much as I love Logan…I don't want to be scarred for life after seeing…….oh God…eww….ewww…gross.'_

~~*~~Got Me Down~~*~~

           "So tell me again why little miss attitude isn't here…AGAIN." Normal asked agitatedly. 

           "I already told you," She began, sounding as sweet as she could, "Max had a family emergency and she had to go to be with them." Adriann had been at the Jam Pony Headquarters all morning sucking up and trying to talk Normal into letting her take Max's place for as long as she's gone, despite the fact that Logan had told her repeatedly that there was no need for her to get a job. But, besides the fact that Adriann felt like all she did was take up his hot water and eat all his food, she wanted to make sure that Max had a job to come back to when she decided to return – _'that is if Normal caves.'_

           "And where is here family?"

"Canada."

"And what would this emergency be?" He asked glancing at her over his glasses.

"Her brother is sick." 

"The flu doesn't count."

"Does Cancer?" Adriann shot back forgetting the 'be nice' portion of her plan momentarily. "Come on Normal." Adriann sighed exasperated. "You don't want to be down a messenger do you?"

           "I'm down one idiot slacker who doesn't care about her job – not a messenger." Normal clarified as he handed a young man a package. "Don't forget a signature!" He called after him.

           "But you see Normal, unlike these other miscreants that you happen to employ here, I am a dedicated and devoted employee. I value my job and employer a great deal." Adriann shot an apologetic glance to those who had gathered around to witness the rare amusement. 

           "I highly doubt that." Normal muttered.

           "You know what Normal, let me put it this way: Until you give me this job, I will be your shadow. I'll be at the door waiting for you to open every morning and I'll be here with you when you close. Hell, I might even stay for dinner or hang out with you after hours, you know hit some clubs. Who knows? So until you let me hold Max's position for her, I might as well be your Siamese twin, because you won't be able to get rid of me." Adriann explained, leaning forward onto the counter and slightly lowering her voice with a smile. Normal's face paled at the thought of never being rid of her. 

           "Fine." He conceded, swallowing past a large lump in his throat. "But don't expect any special treatment."

           "I wouldn't dream of it Normal, not in a million years." Adriann said happily. "But, Thank you, Normal. Really."  She added a bit more subdued, getting a roll of his eyes in response. _'Well what did you expect Dre? An 'Oh you are so welcome. You're my new favorite messenger and I can hardily wait to cater to your every whim.'? Please. This is Normal we're talking about.'_

           "Cindy!" Adriann called seeing her friend walk up to her locker.

           "Hey Suga." Cindy replied, entering the combination on her lock. 

           "I was hoping that I could stop by your place and…pick up some of Max's stuff. Maybe clear out her room a bit, so if you need to get a new roommate…and maybe get some answers in the process." Adriann said leaning up against the adjacent locker.

           "Aiight. Just don't go throwin' out any of my Boo's things. She might…" Cindy lowered her head a bit and sighed. "Never mind. I know you'll do right by Max. If you don't, Original Cindy is gonna have to lay the smack down on your ass. But, I keep thinking that she's gonna waltz in like she owns the place some night just like nothing's wrong."

           "I know…I think we all do, Cindy." Adriann consoled. "Just remember, that if you need anything, to talk, a shopping buddy, or a date approval, I'm here."

           "What are you, Transgenic Counselor Extraordinaire or something?" Cindy joked, blinking back unshed tears. "But, Thanks Lil' Boo. I'll keep that in mind." Adriann smiled gently. _'She's trying so hard to be strong, to not let this get to her. But she's dying inside just like Logan, and I, and probably Alec are. She lost her sister just as much as I did. I just wish that there was something I could do for her. I feel so helpless.'_

           "So, it's okay if I…"Adriann ventured.

           "Yeah Suga, go right ahead. But, could you get that hot black number with the slit sleeves for me. Max promised I could wear it for this date I have coming up, and never gave it to me. I won't look as fine as she did in it, but I'll look sexy as hell, that's for sure." Original Cindy said with some of her usual flare returning.

           "You got it." Adriann chuckled.

           "Hey, I'll see you later, cause I gotta get movin' before Normal blows an artery or something." Cindy said slamming her locker and rolling her eyes.

"Okay. Later." Adriann laughed walking towards the exit. "Bye Normal." She called with a wave as she passed the front desk.

"You start tomorrow Missy! 9AM sharp! Don't be late!" Normal bellowed as she walked out the door. "Come on people let's get a move on! Bip! Bip! Bip!"

~~*~~*~~*~~

           Adriann rifled through Max's closet packing most it contents into the large box that she had brought with her. _'Wow…this is a great shirt.'_ She smiled tossing the shirt onto the dresser so she wouldn't forget to give it to Cindy. Taking a step back to see what was on the shelf, Adriann tilted her head to the side in confusion. _'Okay, I get the tape, rope, harness, and climbing gear, but a shoebox? Why the hell is there a shoe box up there? And why the hell do I have to be the shortest person in the family? When you're 5'3" you can't even reach the shelves in your own freakin' closet.'_ Gracefully jumping up to pick up the box off the shelf, Adriann's curiosity grew. _'What's in here?'_ Setting the box down beside her on the bed, Adriann carefully removed the lid to reveal its secrets_. 'Oh…my…God…'_ Quietly, she reached down and picked up a small stack of photos. _'Kendra…Cindy…all three of the girls…Sketchy…Herbal…Bling…me...Zack. Where in the world did she find a picture of Zack that wasn't in a line up?'_ Adriann sighed and slowly flipped through the pictures again before setting them aside. _'Tinga's wedding ring.'_ Adriann stared at the small diamond ring as she held it between her thumb and index finger. _'Maxie had always planned on giving this back to Charlie…but she never got the chance to I guess.'_ Adriann squeezed her eyes shut and fought back tears as she put the ring down. _'Zack's ID bracelet. The last time that he was actually Zack, or at least knew he was. I should check up on him when I get a chance. He didn't even know that I was alive, so if he sees me, he should be okay…as long as he doesn't see my barcode.'_ Adriann set down the flimsy plastic hospital issue tag with a sigh. _'Just remember his name is Adam now…' _Turning her attention back to the box, Adriann's expression could be described as nothing but pained. _'Brin.'_ She lifted out a delicate gold chain from the box and held it out in front of her gaze, as scenes from the last time she had seen Brin blurred with the image of the necklace.

** Adriann shot up and ran towards Brin, ignoring the fact that she was losing the feeling in her legs. It took only seconds for Dre to close the distance between herself and Brin, but it seemed like forever. __

_{{You know that talking will only piss her off so just take her down. Ahhh, no, no....stay focused!!}} _

           Dre lunged at Brin who hadn't noticed Adriann's presence until she hit her. The two girls crashed through the pent house sky light fighting the entire way down. 

           "Dre!" Bling screamed as he jumped up and ran for the stairs. 

           "What the hell?" Logan said when he heard the crash from his bedroom where Max was cleaning the red scar that had formed in place of the incision. Logan and the three X5's rushed to the hall where the crash came from. 

           "Dre!" Max screamed. 

           "Brin!" Syl and Krit yelled. This was the first time that they had seen their sister since the escape. 

           "What's going on?" Logan asked Bling when he came through the door. 

           "Brin came for Max." he answered feeling helpless as he watched Dre fight Brin when she actually fighting for her life. 

           Adriann was nearly out matched this time. Brin had had the upper hand since they hit the floor. Knocking Adriann on her back Brin took the split second Dre was down to go for Max. __

_{{No you don't!}} _

           Jumping up Adriann ran towards Brin and grabbed her arm just when she was within reach of their baby sister. Logan put himself in front of Max in attempts of protecting her, but he would be no match for Brin. Adriann pulled Brin back towards her with a hard yank that dislocated her shoulder. 

           "Ahhh!" Brin yelped in pain. 

           "What? Brin are you showing weakness?" Dre asked dropping Brin to the ground. Catching her off guard Brin knocked Adriann's feet out from under her and planted a hard kick in her stomach before heading for Max again. 

           "Dre?" Bling called out worried by Brin's latest blow. __

_{{Ohh God. Fight it. You've got to fight it.}} _

           "Brin!" Adriann screamed from the ground. Dre pushed up off the ground as she continued talking. 

           "Stay away from her!" Dre screamed launching herself forward to grab Brin by her bad arm, when she turned to throw a spinning back hand. Using the momentum of Brin's attack, Dre picked her up and threw her former sister over her shoulder, sending Brin crashing through Logan's high rise window. Adriann turned in one fluid movement with the throw to face the window ending in her fighting stance. Everyone remained frozen in place as they stared at the window broken by Brin. 

           "Maxie, you alright." Dre asked without moving. 

           "Yeah." Max sighed in response. Logan turned to see for himself that Max was unharmed, while Krit and Syl walked to the window. 

           "I don't think she'll be back." Krit said when Syl quickly turned from the gruesome sight on the street below. **

           _'It had to be done. You know that as much as anybody. It was either that…or stand by and watch Brin drag Max back to Manticore or be killed. It couldn't be avoided…you know that. It was either her or Maxie…and you weren't about to let Maxie die, especially when Brin wasn't the sister we used to know.'_ Placing the necklace with the other items, Adriann turned back to the box and its two remaining items. Her outstretched hand froze in mid-air when she realized what she had found. _'Ben.'_ Adriann smiled sadly picking up the necklace she had made for her brother when they were kids. _'I was wondering what happened to this. He wasn't wearing it when I found him that afternoon.'_ Her tears finally spilled over onto her cheeks as she slipped the necklace over her head. _'I'll wear yours now Ben…they took mine away when I…I never got mine back after I died…So I'll take care of this for you.'_

           Adriann picked up the final object with peaked interest; a small book with nearly all empty pages; All but three_. 'It's Max's handwriting, but since when does Max have a journal?'_ Quickly scanning what her sister had written, she learned that it was mainly just random, unorganized thoughts on life, love and Manticore. Apparently she had gotten the idea from Logan's poem book. _'What….Max wrote a poem? No way…yes. Max wrote a poem…a really good poem. Who knew she had it in her?'_

                                **My heart is hurting beyond words,**

**                                The pain is tearing up my soul.**

**                                These days have seen my spirit die,**

**                                My life propelled out of control.**

**                                My wounds lay naked to the world,**

**                                My depth of suffering exposed.**

**                                This damaged past can never heal,**

**                                Until this nightmare book is closed.**

**                                My heart is hurting beyond words,**

**                                The pain is tearing up my soul.**

**                                Please tell me how can I retrieve,**

**                                The life that all this sadness stole.**

           _'You really managed to capture the way that we all feel Maxie. Or at least the way I do. Granted you've had it worse then the rest of us at times, but… I never knew you could write like that. God Maxie, why didn't you just come talk to me about this, or Cindy, someone…Maybe things could have been different. Or maybe they  would be exactly the same, but at least you would have tried.' _Adriann closed the small book and quietly replaced all the box's items and set the cover on top. _'The only question now is do I show Logan the journal or not? I wish I had the answer…I show him he goes back into his funk, I don't he finds out I didn't tell him and he goes back into his funk and hates me for all time. Can't I have a third option here?' _

           Shaking her head, Adriann rose to her feet and returned to packing Max's things into her box, making sure to include the shoebox that held much of Max's life within its cardboard walls.  She had known that one box would have more than enough room for all of her sister's things; when you have to be able to drop everything and run on a moments notice, you tend to only keep the necessitates.  Setting the now full box down in the living room, Adriann tried to remain as detached as possible as she brought Max's shirt into Original Cindy's bedroom.  _'This place is gonna seem so empty now. I don't know how Cindy does it…let alone still be able to smile when the day is over. She's stronger than I am.'_  Tossing the shirt on the bed, Adriann returned to the main area of the small apartment and picked the box up off the floor with ease.  With a sigh, Dre took one last look around the room to make sure that she had gotten everything, her eyes eventually falling on the empty place the Ninja once sat.  _'What was I thinking when I decided to do this? I must have been out of my mind.'_  

           "You okay?" Alec said gently, as he took a few steps closer to his newfound sister. 

           "What?!" Adriann asked startled, spinning on her heal to face the owner of the voice. _'Alec.'_ "Oh, Alec. Hi." Her mind raced as she looked at him.  Adriann hadn't seen Alec since that night at Crash that seemed like years ago.  Strangely, all the irritation she expected to feel the next time she saw him, was nowhere to be found. 

           "You alright?" He asked again, just as gently as the first time, his eyes searching hers for the real answer.

           "Yeah, I guess. I…I just stopped by to pick up some of Max's things, clear out the room for Cindy.  Save her the heartache. It's got to be bad enough living in an empty apartment, why make her clear out her best friends room?" She explained. _'I just never expected it to be this hard…why d I have to keep reminding myself that she's not dead?'_

           "I had actually planned on doing the same thing. I guess you beat me to it though." Alec told her, glancing towards Max's room.

           "Yeah, guess so." Adriann muttered, her gaze drifting back to where the Ninja should have been.

           "Hey, look, I…uhh…I'm sorry for being such an ass the other night.  I just didn't expect…who am I kidding? I'm a pain in the ass by nature. I mean I got my name because of it.  Look, do you think that we could  start over or something."  Alec sighed, finally getting that off his chest.  I had been bothering him since he watched Adriann walk out the front door of Crash, and he didn't know why, and didn't much care.  He was just glad that he felt better now, after putting the idea out there.

           "I know…I'm sorry too.  I'm not normally such a…" Adriann searched for the proper word.

           "Bitch?" Alec offered.

           "Yeah, that works too. I was gonna go for domineering, but…" She laughed. "You're probably gonna think that I'm crazy for saying this, but, I'd really like to have some semblance of a brother sister type relationship here.  I know that you're not Ben…as much as I would like to pretend that you are.  But, Alec you're my brother, my twin brother, and…" Adriann trailed off, unable to express what she was trying to say. 

           "So, is that a yes?" Alec asked with a smile.

           "Yeah, I guess it is." Adriann said laughing at herself.  

           "Let me get that." Alec said, reaching for the oversized box in Adriann's arms, when she took a step towards the door. 

           "Nah, I got it." She said dismissively. 

           "Please." Alec said taking hold of the end nearest him.

           "Thanks." She said, handing over the box to his waiting arms,  _'It's a box. He's trying to be nice and carry it for you. Not a big deal…Just let him do it,' _ and followed him to her car.

~~*~~*~~*~~

           Adriann walked into the penthouse clumsily; just fitting the large box though the door.  Walking directly to her bedroom in the back to drop off Max's belongings, Adriann took the chance to change into her black fleece pants and black tan top.  _'That's much more comfortable.'_  Bare foot, Adriann padded across the central area of the apartment following the sound of the TV and computer.  She paused, in the door frame of the office to see what Logan had on the TV and her heart sank.  Yet another moron was claiming to know that all  the transgenics were, were soulless monsters.  _'It was only a matter of time Adriann, and you saw this coming a long time ago. A long time ago. Just wait till they find out that some of us look just like they do…and that a lot of us are what's keeping our little parts of the world together.'_

           "Hey." Adriann said, pulling her hair up into a ponytail as she walked the rest of the way into Logan's office. This was the only place she knew she was truly safe and didn't have to worry about anyone seeing her barcode, and Adriann treasured every chance she got to wear her hair up.  

           "Hey." Logan looked up from the computer screen and smiled.  "How'd it go with Normal?" He asked, turning to face her once she had taken her usual perch on his desk. 

           "Well, I got it." She told him with a grin. "Granted I had to threaten to come over for dinner, go out clubbing with him – assuming Normal has a social life – basically be his shadow for all time.  But, I got it. I start tomorrow." Adriann confessed with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. 

           "I still don't see the need for you to get a job." Logan muttered.

           "Logan, if it bothers you that much that I am now employed, by someone other than you or Eyes Only, think of it this way…I'm doing it for me. I'd drive myself crazy not having anything that I had to do. I have to work Logan; it's in my DNA. I can't help that." She explained looking down at his worried expression.  "And I won't be gone that much. Don't worry; I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you…I'm staying right here. It's just a job Logan. Nothing more." 

           Logan nodded, slowly understanding her need for a job.  As the silence between them hung in the air, the idiot on the TV news program suddenly seemed much louder and his words caught Logan's attention.

           "These…these…THINGS…they aren't human, they aren't animals. They don't belong anywhere, because they aren't a natural creation! They don't deserve to be on this Earth…God never intended for them to exist. It's our job to wipe them out and reclaim the planet for all of God's creations." 

           "Stupid son of a bitch" Logan spat, pushing himself over to his Eyes Only equipment and prepared for a hack. 

           "Logan." Adriann said sternly. " Don't. Now is not the time."

           "Like hell it isn't! This idiot is going to have half the country on their porch or door step with a shot gun, ready to shoot the first thing that moves!" Logan fired back at her. "I will not let him get away with that…I won't let innocent people be killed because of some ass wipe's twisted view of morality!"

           "And why would they believe you on this one?  You know as well as I do that this was just a matter of time.  Sooner or later the world was gonna find out about me and mine. People do and say dumb things when they're scared. Don't stoop to their level out of anger.  Wait for the right time to bring Eyes Only into this again. If you're not careful, you'll get yourself killed…tension is unbelievably high right now, and people will do rash things, not giving a damn about the consequences." She told him, resting a hand on his shoulder.  "Please, Logan, forget him right now. People are going to believe what they want whether you do the hack or not."

           Logan leaned back in his chair and sighed.  Taking off his glasses, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, noticeably trying to calm himself down.  

           "I hate the way that he's talking about you…and Joshua…and Alec…and…Max, like you, like have no souls…no hearts.  He has no idea how wrong he is. Never have I met anyone with as much compassion as you.  And Adriann, you are the epitome of scientific success. They haven't been able to replicate the results since." Logan said finally looking over at her.

           "I know…but now is not the time to take on this war, and the battle is not ready to be fought." Adriann slid down off the desk and knelt beside Logan's chair, ignoring the painful truth in his statement of her past.  "But the time will come for the battle to be fought and everything will work out for the best." She added placing a calming hand on his knee.

           "How can you say that? How can you be so…so…You're the one he's talking about, and you're telling me it's gonna be okay and calming me down." Logan said in astonishment, as he did every time Adriann did or said something so incredibly selfless.

           "Because it's true." She smiled softly. "Come on, let's watch a movie or something…forget the screwed up world for a couple hours.  Whadda say?" 

           "As long as you don't make me watch the Breakfast Club AGAIN." Logan groaned, as she pulled him to his feet and dragged him into the living room.  

           "Okay…deal. But I don't see your problem with that movie, it's soooo good." Adriann said flopping down on the couch. "But, I'll let you pick the movie." She sighed dramatically.

           "Oh sure…let me pick the movie so you can take the whole couch for yourself." Logan whined putting on an old pre pulse horror movie.

           "Oh stop whining. You know I always let you on the couch anyway." Adriann said throwing a pillow at him playfully.  "So, what movie we watching?" She asked sitting up for Logan to sit down at the end of the couch.

           "Scream. It's an pre-pulse horror movie." He told her as he stretched  out his legs, resting his feet on the coffee table.  "People loved it back then…it's been forever since I've seen it." Adriann grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and snuggled into Logan's arms, resting her head on the inside of his shoulder.

           "Oh this should be good." Adriann stifled a laugh.

           "What?" Logan asked confused.

           "This will probably the most pathetic excuse for fear that I will ever see." Adriann explained. "'Oh no! The killer is chasing me…I think I'll run into a closet and hide to make it easier for me to die!'" Adriann mocked a young victim in the typical horror flick.

           "Well, not all of us grew up in a psychopathic military facility. So we aren't used to seeing this stuff…and we sure as hell aren't smart enough to get out the town when the killer shows up." Logan laughed.

           "True." Adriann laughed along with her friend.

           "You comfy?" Logan asked draping his arm around her shoulders as the last of his laughter died out.

           "Yep." 

           "This is a lot like the good ole days isn't it?" Logan asked looking down at his best friend.

           "That it is." She replied, sighing contently.

"Hey Logan…?" Adriann asked a moment later.

"Yeah?"

"Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." Adriann looked up at him intently, watching his reaction.

"I wouldn't believe it if it came from anyone else." Logan said meeting her gaze, and smiling. With a smile Adriann reached up and gave Logan a quick peck on the cheek, before settling back into his arms.

_'I'll give the journal to Logan one day…just not now…it's not time. Everything is still too raw and would more than likely do more harm that good. He's just not ready yet, especially to read what she wrote about him. That would just break his heart to know all that and know that she left despite of it all. One day…just not now. But the way things are going…I think we're gonna be ok.'_

~Well there you have it folks, Chapter 7 of 'What A Broken Heart Can Bear'….I hope you enjoyed it. So please let me know what you though…if you liked it tell me….you hated it yell at me…tell me what you'd like to see, or not see….Talk to me people! Feel free to email me and give me your opinions or thoughts or just to say hi. You can reach me at luvvbug101@hotmail.com 

~The poem that Max wrote actually is from Xena: A Bitter Suit…so all the credit goes to them for that one. 

~And Adriann's flash back to her last encounter with Brin, is from 'Adriann'

~Kat, what can I say to the best beta ever? I love the little comments…always make me laugh…thanks for everything – you're the greatest. And because she's the greatest I think that you all need to go read SUMMER MAGIC by Katerpillar….cause well, I said so and it's a great lil story she's got going there…and it gets better…go read it…go on go…


	8. Easy as Life

What A Broken Heart Can Bear Chapter 8: Easy As Life 

~Well, as I'm sure you know, it's been far too long since the last time I updated this story, and for that I am truly sorry.  I hope you can forgive me?  But be forewarned, I'm not promising any quick updates for future chapters…I've got a lot going on that sadly put 'What a Broken Heart Can Bear' on  the back burner to some degree.  So, I wanna say thanks to everyone who has waited all this time for this new chapter…I really do appreciate your patients.  And Kat, thanks for the beta.  
  
~So, if you have any complaints, questions, thoughts, or comments on the story, this chapter, why it took me so long…anything of the sort…feel free to e-mail me – mailto:luvvbug101@hotmail.com - or you can IM me on AIM –Awluvvbug.  I hope to hear from you. And please, remember to review.

~OK, I've been told that there's an encoding blooper at the end of Too Slow to Ride…I've tried to fix it, but it doesn't seem to be working.  It's fine when I pull it up on my PC, but when I get on ff.net it's all screwy…..sorry, I know it makes it a pain to read and follow, but I'm working on it. J

3 years later…
    
    ~*~Too Slow To Ride~*~

"They say time flies when you're having fun, but if you ask me time flies when you're not paying attention to it.  How else could 3 years have already gone by since I moved back in with Logan and beaten that God forsaken virus.  It seems like yesterday all that happened, but forever ago too.  So much has changed, but at the same time stayed the same.  Is it really possible that I'm almost 24 years old?  I know I'm not making much sense at the moment…but bear with me."

"Life tends to be unbelievably hectic sometimes, barely giving us all enough time to catch our breath.  So as you can imagine 'Dre/Logan Bonding Time' has taken a hit.  We usually see each other on the way out the door when we collide – literally.  It is nice to know though, that there is a bond between us that a chaotic schedule can't break.  We're best friends, with a deeper connection than most, probably because of our unique and intense history together.  No relationship of, any kind is remotely normal when a Manticore kid is involved, and Logan understands that. It's a bond of the soul that can never be truly broken - and we both know it.  That right there, is the greatest comfort I have ever known.  I can't put into words how grateful I am for that."

"Now Alec, well, he turned out to be more human that I gave him credit for.  Once I finally got the guts to actually go talk to him, I got a bit of a surprise.  Who would have guessed that Alec was in the same place that I was concerning our relationship.  I never imagined that Alec would have a heart, let alone a heart of gold.  He genuinely felt awful for everything he had done to Max and Logan, for treating Max the way he had in the beginning, for generally being an ass all the time.  All he really wanted was to be half the person that Max had become, and be the brother that I was hoping to find in him.  Seeing Alec as vulnerable as he was that night, telling me that he wondered if he had gotten out of Manticore in time to salvage that remaining shred of humanity they had tried to crush, made me see something in him that I had never noticed before, or didn't want to notice.  He was just as scared and lonely as I was. From that point on we started from scratch and built a relationship, making up for all the time that we had lost.  And before we knew it, it was like we grew up together and knew everything about each other.  Granted I have yet to tell him about being an X7, but I swear I will.  I just haven't found the right time yet.  And it's not exactly an easy subject.  What do you say?  'Oh by the way, I'm not really your sister – by blood anyway.  I used to be…but I'm not anymore.'  Yeah, that'd go over real well."

"Anyway, Logan and Max have stood the test of time thus far and are still going strong.  Actually, Logan proposed to Max just a few weeks ago.  He went all out; buying out a restaurant for a night so they could have it to themselves, covering every inch of the floor and tables in rose petals, their song playing in the background by a string quartet, and the whole place lit up by the soft glow of hundreds of candles.  It was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen and I didn't even get to see the finished product.  But that's what happens when you offer to help your best friend propose to your sister; you get robbed of the full effect but you do get to hear both sides of the story afterwards, which is always a plus.  This time, the story wasn't as wonderful as I had hoped.  Max didn't say 'yes' to Logan's proposal, but she didn't say 'no' either.  She told him, that one day she would like nothing more than to become Mrs. Logan Cale, but right now she can't accept.  She wasn't ready.  There was too much going on with the transgenics that she felt responsible for and it wouldn't be fair to only give Logan part of her on their wedding day.  Max asked only for some time; time to get things in order, iron everything out with her family, and clear out her head so she could give Logan every piece of her.  To do anything else would be cruel.  Logan had given her so much, that it would just seem wrong to not give him back all that she could.  Of course, Logan was disappointed and a bit hurt, but he said understood and he loved her more for it.  Any other woman wouldn't have even thought that she could be robbing him from everything that she is.  He would wait for Max until the end of time if he had to and he made sure that  she knew that."

"But something's wrong, I can feel it.  Don't ask me what it is or when it's gonna go down – that I can't tell you because I don't know.  But what I do know is that every time I see them together, my gut ties itself in knots.  I just can't put my finger on what it is, and it is driving me crazy!  I feel like I'm walking around in a fog, not knowing where anything is, but I know something's out there just waiting for me to run into it.  Ever since the little man who flipped the 'psychic switch' decided to take a vacation, I've been left trying to cope with the severe lacking of gut feelings.  And on the rare occasion when the switch does flip, I have a hard time piecing it all together, due to lack of use.  Which just irritates me, and makes it harder to focus and figure everything out.  It's all one big vicious cycle, really.  One big vicious cycle that is getting really old, really fast.  I think that if I just knew what caused its deterioration I'd feel a lot better.  But I don't, so I can only assume – God knows how much I love doing that.  Wasn't I the girl that always said 'Assume nothing.'?  I guess I just burned out.  It would make sense…especially with the chaos that was going on back then, my head must have overloaded or something.  But, I still say Bling saved my life.  He made me relax, and take care of Adriann for a while – something I had never done.  Never underestimate the power of a tropical island."

"Anyhoo…enough about the past.  The long time joke between Max and Zack is actually coming to life.  Hard to believe, I know, but it's true.  You guessed it, the X5 Reunion!  Somehow Krit and Syl managed to contact each of the remaining x5s and arrange the fabled event. Too bad it's not gonna be all laughs and cheesy party games.  The main reason for the reunion is to discuss how to handle what's going on with the not so recent public discovery of transgenics, and the inevitable detection of the X-series and public panic when they learn that there are transgenics out there that look just like they do.  But getting the whole family together in one place is something that hasn't happened since the breakout and is definitely on all our minds, as are the siblings we've lost.  Max is especially excited about seeing everyone again, even though she tries to hide it.  But the eyes never lie.  After all this has been a dream of hers for 15 years or so.  She hasn't seen most of them since the night we broke out and Jace is bringing little Max with her.  Alec on the other hand is a nervous wreck.  He saw the way that Max and I reacted when we saw him, and he can safely assume that the reaction wouldn't be much different with the others.  They all know what had happened with Ben, and doesn't want to reopen barely healed wounds.  But what's bothering him the most, is how he was in a different unit with the rest of our twins and he won't be considered family, but an outsider.  I told him what I keep telling myself, that anyone who was created in a Manticore lab in a government issued test tube is a Manticore Kid.  And every scared, lonely, and lost Manticore Kid has a whole family of other Manticore Kids that feel the same way to lean on.  And just like any family, there are different parts; Instead of in-laws, grandchildren, aunts & uncles, cousins and so on, we have the different groups in the X-series, Cy-ops, Special-ops, we even have our own black sheep of the family with the Nomlies.  There is no reason that the others won't consider him family.  He said he never thought of that and that it made him feel better, but he's still worried about it."

"You're probably wondering why I'm not packing or at least getting ready…it's simple really.  Someone has to stay in Seattle while the reunion's going on.  None of us feel comfortable leaving the city 'unattended' considering the transgenic hot spot it has become.  So I volunteered to stay behind.  I will never admit this to anyone else, but a big reason I'm staying here is because I don't want to explain how I'm alive to everyone. And I definitely didn't want to tell them I'm actually an x-7.  Syl and Krit promised not to say anything about me to the others, Max and Alec did the same.  But, Alec doesn't know everything about me yet.  I'll tell him someday, just not now. The fewer people who know I'm alive the better. The less I have to deal with the morbid humor of Manticore the better.  So, I'll watch over the city I call home while Max and Alec were away.  Plus, there's an added bonus.  Me and Logan will finally get to have some quality time together.  When I told him I was gonna hang back while Max and Alec went to the reunion we decided to make up for lost time and watch as many movies, have as many talks, eat as much junk, and goof around as much as humanly possible in 48 hours…in other words – All nighter here we come!"

"Well Ben, I've gotta get going.  Max and Alec will be leaving soon and I want to make it back before they get to Logan's so I can say goodbye.  Sorry I haven't been around much lately…I didn't realize just how long it had been until I started talking.  I had a lot to fill you in on.  I'll do better with the visits from now on, I promise.  There's no way I'm gonna let this much time pass without coming to chat – 6 months is ridiculous.  And when I did stop by…they were rushed and brief.  Forgive me?  Thanks.  I miss you – soooo much Ben.  Alec is great and I love him to death, but he's not you - and I don't expect him to be.  I wish I could have both my brothers here with me.  I love you Ben, and I'll talk to you soon."  Adriann turned around and began to walk towards the edge of the large rock, but stopped and looked back out over the ocean.

"Hey, do me a favor…tell me that everything is fine.  Tell me that nothing bad is going to happen this weekend.  Tell me that this overwhelming feeling of dread that's settled in my gut is all in my head.  Tell me I'm wrong.  Ben, please tell me that for once in my life, my gut is wrong."

*-*

Throwing her jacket in the general direction of the chair, Adriann flopped down on her bed with a sigh of relief.  She had managed to make it back to Seattle before Max and Alec got to the penthouse.  Logan was in his office finishing an article he wrote for an Internet magazine, making sure that there weren't any last minute details that would haunt him all weekend.  He and Dre had had so little time together lately that he didn't want anything to get in the way of their weekend together, especially a stupid article.

Adriann heard Max and Alec enter the apartment, and Alec ask why she always picks the lock if Logan gave her a key.  Dre couldn't help chuckling. It was a valid question that they had all asked her at one point or another.

"Dre, you in there?" Alec called, from the opposite side of her bedroom door with a quiet knock.

"Yeah.  Come on in." She answered, rolling off the bed to pick her jacket up off the floor.

"We're gonna be heading out in a few minutes so I thought I'd come say 'bye'." Alec offered, his anxiety obvious to her.

"Alec," Adriann began, as she positioned herself in front of her brother, "stop worrying about this.  You'll be fine.  They aren't going to expect you to be Ben.  Sure, they might be a little bit shocked to see you, but that will pass.  Especially, now that we know we all have a twin out there thanks to Manticore." Adriann gently squeezed his shoulder, trying to reassure him.

"You don't." Alec reminded her sulkily.

"True.  But we both know that even Manticore can make mistakes, or get a surprise every now and then." Adriann conceded thoughtfully.  If anyone knew about the twins it would be Alec.  He is one of them and was in their unit.

"I still wish you were coming with us.  God knows I would feel better if you were there with me."  Alec muttered into her hair as he pulled Adriann into a hug.

"I know, but someone needs to stay here, incase something goes down while you're gone."

"I could stay…" Alec ventured.

"Oh no you don't.  You are not backing out now." Dre smiled at the defeated yet expectant look on his face.  "I'll be here when you get back and you can tell me everything that happened at the reunion.  Okay?"

"Okay."  Alec sighed, hoping that the next two days would go as smoothly as Adriann promised.  "I should probably get out there.  Don't wanna piss Max off by making her wait."

"Yeah.  Pissing Max off is hazardous to your health.  Come on." Adriann and Alec strolled out to the living room, his arm draped casually around her shoulders.  Max and Logan were standing inches apart in front of the couch saying their goodbyes, causing the knot in Adriann's gut to twist and tighten.

"Have fun Angel." Logan told her kissing her forehead.  "Tell Jace, Syl and Krit I said 'Hi'."

"I will." Max smiled.

"And –" Logan began.

"Be careful. I know…always am." Max said, finishing Logan's familiar phrase with a small smile.

"Are you ever going to get tired of saying that?" Adriann asked Logan, as she and Alec stopped beside him.

"No." Logan grinned.

"Didn't think so." Adriann smirked up at her roommate.  "Maxie, have a good time and don't try do it all yourself.  This is family, your all on the same team, you can trust them.  So don't put up all those walls again."

"I know. I won't." Max said stiffly.

"Okay. I had to say it. But really, have fun.  You've been waiting for this for 15 years, so make the most of it." Adriann smiled, taking a step forward to hug her sister, who barely hugged her back.  _'What is this all about? I get pissy two word answers and better hugs from Lydecker.  What is her problem?'_

"Take good care of my kid sister for me." Alec told Logan, as the two shook hands in a friendly farewell.

"You know I will." Logan replied, sincerity written in his eyes.

"Yeah, well we gotta jet." Max said shortly.  "I'll see ya in a few days.  Alec." Max turned towards the door, nearly barking the command for Alec to follow.

"I should probably go with her, cause I don't want to fear for my life the entire trip.  I'll see you soon." Alec kissed Dre's forehead, and trotted towards the open door to catch up with Max at the elevator.

"Bye. Love you too." Logan said, sarcastically a moment later.

"She was just…focused on the reunion.  She didn't mean to blow you off like that." Adriann told Logan, gently shutting the penthouse door.

"Yeah." Logan sighed, not believing it for a minute.

Adriann watched Logan carefully, slowly walking back towards him.  _'Yeah, I don't believe it either.'  Hooking her arm with his, Adriann guided Logan to the couch.  "You know, if we're gonna have this big ole movie night extravaganza…this room is far too…uncomfortable."_

"What?" Logan looked over at his best friend, trying to figure out where she was going with this.

"We've got a lot of vegetating to do and as long as this room is so 'overly organized', I don't think we can get into the proper vegetative state." She explained, with a devious grin beginning to spread across her features.

"And what exactly do you have in mind to…uh…create the proper conditions?" Logan asked, playing along.

"You'll see." Adriann answered simply, her grin now ear to ear.

"I am officially scared.  I know that look.  Nothing good ever comes from that look." Logan laughed, and braced himself for whatever it was Adriann was planning.

**-**

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." Logan scoffed, looking around at the room that used to be his living room.  Now it looked more like a linens display at Pier 1; blankets and pillows everywhere, completely covering the floor in a makeshift feather bed design.

"We'll be comfortable though won't we?" Adriann asked flopping back into the sea of pillows below her.

"Can't argue that." Logan shook his head.  His chairs had been pushed back behind the couch, which had been moved about  6 feet back itself, and the larger pillows were resting against it.  The coffee table wasn't even in the room, Dre had stuck it in the hallway for the time being – no one would be over there anyway; or at least that was Adriann's reasoning.  Everything was centered around the TV.

"No you can't.  So you put in the movie and I'll get the grub." Adriann bounced to her feet and quickly returned with their supply of junk food, dropping it in the middle of the room.

"I've really missed this." Logan mentioned, as Adriann snuggled up next to him in the mound of pillows.

"So have I.  How could we have let so much time go by without doing this?" Adriann asked, in disbelief.

"I don't know." Logan draped his arm around her shoulders possessively.  "But we've got all weekend to make up for it and get back on track."

"Yeah we do." Adriann agreed, happily biting off a chunk of a Twisler.  "So which movie is first?"

"You're just gonna have to wait and see now aren't you?"  Logan quipped.

"That is soooo not fair." Dre whined.

"It is perfectly fair, my dear.  You made me wait to see what you were gonna do to my living room, so I am making you wait to see what movie I put in." Logan suppressed a laugh as he pushed the play button on the remote.  He was gonna pay for this one, but it would be worth it.

*-*

The video began to play; a black screen accompanied by the soft roar of a crowd of people.

"Take off the lens cap you moron." A female voice laughed.

"I know, and I will.  Besides, I'm not recording yet, Max." Logan told her defensively.

"Then why is the little red light on?" Another female's voice asked.

"Because…" Logan stuttered, combing his brain for a reasonable reply.

"You're recording!" The two girls said in unison, bursting with laughter.

"Okay, okay…I surrender.  You were right," Suddenly the scene came into view, "I was wrong.  Lens cap off."  Max and Adriann continued to laugh at Logan's unfortunate error, who was currently hiding behind the camera.  The trio was sitting at a table in the middle of an unusually large crowd at Crash.  Everyone's attention seemed to be aimed at the 'stage', and it looked like the night's event was about to begin.

*-*

"Logan, tell me you didn't." Adriann begged, sitting up to glare at him.

"Okay.  I didn't." He repeated, his eyes giving away the truth.

"You told me the battery died." She accused, pointing at him with her half eaten Twisler.

"It did die.  Eventually." Logan smirked.  "Now be quiet.  I'm trying to watch a movie."

*-*

Turning the camera on himself, Logan unveiled his best impression of a talk show host, "So Adriann, are you the least bit nervous about your up coming performance?"

"Me?" She replied as Logan put the camera back on her.  "The psycho psychic girl who grew up in a twisted military school, broke out when she was 12, died, was re-born, had some screwy growing pains and coming of age issues, broke out again – but this time she looked like she was 12 but she was really 8, made it out into the world, lived her life in the shadows while looking out for her siblings – who all thought she was dead by the way, finally found her twin brother but she was too late cause he had lost his mind was killed for his own good by the time she got to him, busted her baby sister back out of their own personal Hell after she was captured and would have died if their C.O. and older brother hadn't sacrificed himself to save her life, brought her sister home, killed her other sister while trying to protect the injured one, nearly died again herself, after trying to take down the Hell – better known as Manticore - that she grew up in and everyone in it on her own,  but her boyfriend at the time took her on a tropical vacation once Manticore was ashes and saved her life, then ultimately broke up with the boyfriend because of irreconcilable differences and the fact he had found someone else and was engaged, and  fights a bad guy or two of some kind almost everyday, scared of a silly little Karaoke contest?" Adriann asked, all in one breath.

"Yeah, that would be the girl in question." Logan smiled.  "But you didn't answer my question.  Are you nervous?"

"Nervous? Nah…" Adriann waved her hand dismissively.  "I think petrified would be the word to best describe it."

*-*

"I swear to you Logan, if you recorded me…you will pay." Adriann threatened, momentarily taking her eyes off the screen to grab a handful of Twislers and send him an icy glare.

"You'll what?  Hit stop?" He laughed.

"No. I'll do this." With a quick flip of the wrist, Adriann snapped the Twisler on Logan's hand.

"OW!" Logan laughed, surprised at how much that hurt.

*-*

"The next contestant on our list is your friend and mine – Adriann.  Adriann?  Girl, you out there?" Mike called from the stage.

"I think that's your cue." Logan pointed out, zooming in on Adriann's paling face.

"You think?" Max asked, sarcastically.  "Dre, you'll be great.  So stop worrying.  You've done a lot tougher things than Karaoke in your life."

"Yeah, but there was never an audience and there was usually a life at stake." She gulped.

"Knock 'em dead." Logan told her, hugging her with his free arm.

"Just remember to look at us, not them." Max reminded her sister, while giving her a quick hug for luck.

*-*

"Oh my God…it did last long enough for you to tape it." Adriann gasped, as she watched herself take her place on the stage.

*-*

Adriann's hand shook as she reached out and took the microphone off the stand.

"I've never seen her like this." Logan whispered to Max, forgetting about the camcorder's microphone.

"Neither have I."

"I mean the girl takes on entire armies on her own and doesn't think twice about it.  But for a stupid little Karaoke contest –"

"That you bribed her into entering." Max interjected.

"Saying that I'd make her the chocolate dessert of her choice if she entered is not bribery." Logan answered.

"On what planet?" Max laughed.  "I think Mr. Cyber Journalist needs to invest in a dictionary."

Mid-way through Max's comment the upbeat music to Adriann's song began.  The crowd quickly recognized the familiar pre-pulse favorite and began to dance and sing along.

*-*

"I think I may need to kill you." Adriann muttered, flopping back into the pillows and covering her face.

"Oh come on…" Logan scoffed, removing her hands from her face.  "You weren't as awful as you would like to believe.  You did win the competition."

"I won because the majority of my competition was too drunk to know they were breathing." She whined, trying to get her hands away from Logan's grasp.

"No.  You won because you are an incredible singer.  The drunks only made that more evident.  Listen."

"I don't wanna."

"Tough." Logan smiled down at Adriann, making her watch the tape of her performance.

*-*

"Hit me with your best shot.  Come on!  Hit me with your best shot.  Hit me with your best shot.  Fire away!"  Adriann sang, interacting with the crowd like she had been performing all her life.

*-*

"I swear, as soon as I find out where your mom stored all of those embarrassing 'Baby-Logan-running-around-the-Christmas-Tree-naked' videos and pictures from all your awkward middle school dances…you're goin' down.  You hear me?  You are goin' down." Adriann explained, playfully pinning Logan's chest to the ground beneath her knee.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Yeah."

"Hit me with your best shot." Logan said, laughing hysterically.

"Jerk!" Adriann laughed, smacking Logan in the face with a nearby pillow.

"Hey!" Logan blocked the second attack from Adriann with one arm, while searching in vain for a pillow of his own with the other.  "I surrender!  I surrender!  Granted, it was a little unfair."  Distracting Adriann with his 'white flag' decoy, Logan grabbed hold of the leg that was pinning his upper half to the ground and pulled it out from under Adriann and pushed her backwards.

"Punk!" Adriann squealed, as she was now pinned by Logan.

"A guy doesn't have a revved up girlfriend and best friend and not pick up a few things along the way."

"Really?"  Adriann asked.  "Then you should have seen this coming."

"Seen what com-"  Logan was quickly cut off as Adriann effortlessly flipped the situation so the odds were once again in her favor; Adriann sat comfortably on Logan's chest in an amusing yet effective pin.

"Seen that coming." Adriann said, triumphantly.  "I win."

*-*

"But Logan, it's only 9:45."Adriann whined sleepily.

"9:45PM. 36 hours after we started this watch till you drop movie night." Logan explained through a yawn.  The pair had watched 12 movies, had 4 pillow fights, 2 wrestling matches, eaten 9 bags of popcorn, 3 bags of chips 5 bags of Twislers and multiple forms of chocolate, poured their hearts out to each other on various subjects, and even danced under the stars on the roof.  Now, they lay on the pillow and blanket covered floor half asleep, as movie number 13 played.

"36 hours isn't that long." Adriann said, echoing his yawn.

"For us regular humans, 36 hours is a long time to go without sleep.  Plus, you started the yawning."

"Did not." She yawned, again.  "Why do you have to be so comfy?  You're like a…a…big comfy thing. "

"Big comfy thing? That's the best you can come up with?" Logan chuckled.

"Hey!" Adriann picked her head up off Logan's chest to see his face. "Don't mock the girl with a big comfy-thing deprived childhood."

"Can you ever forgive me oh bony one?" Logan smiled playfully, opening one eye.

"Sure, kick a girl when she's down." Adriann laughed, replacing her head in the crook of Logan's neck.  "Tease her for having a petite bone structure."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You say petite bone structure, I say bony butt.  Go to sleep." Logan toyed.  "Goodnight." He added, turning his head to the side to kiss her head.

"Goodnight." Adriann whispered. "Petite." She muttered, making sure to get the last word.

"Bony." Logan corrected, just loud enough for her to hear.  They both would have laughed at their persistence, if they hadn't already fallen asleep.

*-*

Max looked at the pair sound asleep in each others arms, tears filling her eyes.  She'd seen them like this a thousand times; they were best friends and had been for nearly four years.  This wasn't particularly uncommon for them.  But, if she didn't know any better, she would think that they were the ones involved.  But she did know better, didn't she?  _'Logan…I was hoping that I was wrong.  But it appears that I was no where near as wrong as I had hoped.  It's bad enough that Logan did this to me…but Dre?  Why Adriann?  You're my sister, I trusted you with my life, the lives of the people I love, I trusted you with everything I hold dear…and you stab me in the back.  Why did you have to take Logan?  Never again will I let my guard down like that.  Never again.'_

Swiping at the tears streaming down her face, Max set her jaw and rebuilt the walls that had taken years to tear down.  _'Zack was right.  Emotions are only weakness, the perfect place for the enemy to attack and take down the soldier.  I am a soldier, the perfect soldier.  Love – what a crock.'  Abruptly turning on her heal, Max stalked out of the penthouse and slammed the door behind her._

*-*

Adriann's eyes bolted open at the sudden sound.  _'What was that?'  Her attention immediately going in the direction of the sound, Adriann tried to move without disturbing Logan's slumber.  Carefully removing Logan's arm from around her shoulders and laying it down across his chest, Adriann quietly rose to her feet._

"Dre?  What's wrong?"  Logan asked, half awake, the sudden loss of her body's warmth causing him to stir.

"Nothing.  Just getting a drink. Go back to sleep."  Adriann answered softly, her attention focused towards the door.  "I'll be right back."

"Okay."  Logan murmured, rolling over on his side.

Rounding the corner to the front door soundlessly and ready to strike, Adriann found herself facing only a pair of sneakers and a door.  _'Good Dre…scare yourself.  Sheesh.  Things have been a little tense on the public vs. transgenic front, but really.'  Shaking her head, Adriann walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water for herself.  __'I would have sworn I heard the door or something.  I dunno.'  Sighing, Adriann walked back into the living room and sat on the back of the couch where she could see the city.  __'The weekend is almost over and nothing tragic has happened…yet.  Yet.  Just try not to get yourself all worked up…there's no point in it.  Relax Dre.  Breathe.  Relax.  Everything will be fine.' Adriann looked back at Logan sound asleep and surrounded by pillows, his mere presence calming her nerves.  Looking back to the large window, Adriann noticed the subtle color and light emerging at the horizon.  __'The sun will be up soon. And everything will be fine. God…I wish I could believe that.  More than anything I want to believe that.'  Adriann set her glass down on the floor and ran her hands through her hair with a soft sigh.  __'But something's tying my gut in knots and caused dread to settle in my chest.  I just wish I knew what it was.  At least then I could do something to prevent it from happening or be prepared.  But of course…it's not that easy.  It's never easy.  All I know is something is gonna happen and it's not gonna be pretty.  I have never wanted to be more wrong about anything in my life.'_

*-*

"Welcome to the land of the living." Adriann smiled, as Logan walked into the kitchen, his hair matted on one side and out of control on the other thanks to 'bed head'.

"Yeah." He grunted, still not fully awake.

"Coffee's in the pot, O.J.'s on the counter, waffles waiting for you in the oven."

"You cooked?" Logan asked, staring at her in awe.

"Yes, I cooked. " Adriann rolled her eyes, slightly insulted.  "Just because I choose not to cook on a regular basis doesn't mean that I can't."

"Uh-huh." Logan opened the oven door and took out the plate of warm waffles.  "They look normal enough."

"Because they are normal."

Logan took a fork out of the dish rack and began to poke at the stack of waffles in front of him.  Adriann closed the book she had been reading and leaned her elbows on the counter, watching Logan with an inquisitive stare.

"Oh will you just eat them." Adriann grumbled playfully, tired of watching her work be criticized.  She really couldn't complain, not when she does the same thing with Logan's baking.

"That depends." Logan said, looking at her over the top of his glasses.

"On…?"

"Whether or not they'll kill me." He smiled, sitting down on the stool across from her.

"I ate them and I'm still breathing." Adriann offered, with a grin.

"Yeah, but you're the super hero and I'm just the side-kick.  I'm more vulnerable." Logan pointed out, using his fork as a pointer.

"True.  But I guess you're just gonna have to risk it."

"Looks like I am."  Logan took a deep breath to brace himself, cut a bite sized piece of waffle and held it in front of him for a moment.

"Ahem." Adriann smiled, shaking her head at Logan's dramatics.  _'You can be such a drama queen sometimes.'_

"Sorry." Closing his eyes, Logan put the bite in his mouth, chewed and swallowed.  After a brief pause, Logan opened one eye cautiously.  "Am I still alive?"

"I dunno.  You tell me, Mr. Drama Queen." Adriann scoffed, as she rose to her feet.

"I think I am."

"Good to know.  Now, while you eat your breakfast like a good little wanna-be Soap-star…I'm gonna put your living room back together." Adriann told him, messing up his hair with her hands.

"Dre, you don't have to do that on your own." Logan said, through a mouthful of waffles.  "Wow.  These are really good."

"I'm the one who ripped it apart, so I'm the one who'll put it back together.  It's no biggie.  Besides, I'm getting antsy and I need to work off some of this energy.  And I know."  Adriann smiled, as she walked into what's supposed to be a living room.

"Logan, this place is a mess!  What in the world happened to your perfectly neat and organized living room?"

"I dunno." Logan called over his shoulder, as he set his glass and plate in the sink.  "There was this psycho girl here the other day and she tricked me into letting her rearrange my living room so it would be more 'comfortable' for an all nighter."

"Really?' Adriann asked, looking over at Logan who was standing just outside the kitchen.  "You should have thrown her out.  Cause, this –" Adriann motioned to the disaster that was a living room, "this is just ridiculous.  Inexcusable.  This is the work of a crazy person."

"And to think that crazy person is my roommate." Logan said, walking across the room, stepping over random pillows and blankets.

"You got another roommate and never told me!  Logie, I'm hurt…deep down." Adriann said, with as much sincerity she could muster without laughing.

"Dre…" Logan turned to face Adriann, and took hold of her shoulders, "you are that crazy roommate."

"Oh yeah.  I still can't believe you let me do this.  What were you thinking?" She laughed.

"I don't' think I was thinking." Logan said, laughing at the disaster that was his living room.

"I don't think you were either.  But, hey… I'll clean this up and put it back together in the perfectly organized Logan Cale fashion, and you'll take a shower.  Sound like a plan?"

"Yep.  Have fun." Logan said, messing her hair like she had done earlier, as he walked into his bedroom.

*-*

Later on that night Logan and Adriann were playing Scrabble while they waited for Max and Alec to get back from the X5 Reunion.  Both were eager to hear what had gone on and what if any decisions were made, but a part of them didn't want their time together to be invaded with the world's turmoil and end.  Would either one of them admit that sometimes they wished they could stay in their own little world and have no one but their best friend with them?  Of course not.  But don't think the thought didn't cross their minds every once and a while.

"Schlep is not a word!" Adriann said, pointing down at the Scrabble board.

"It is too." Logan argued.

"Well, yeah it's a _word.  But you know as well as I do that you can't use a Yiddish word and actually expect it to count – it's slang.  And slang is illegal."_

"Okay.  But what about your word; Yeoman?"

"Yeoman; As in Yeoman of the Guard.  A title given to English military officers, and also title characters in Gilbert & Sullivan's 'Yeoman of the Guard.'" Adriann recited, seamlessly.

"But it's a proper noun.  And you know as well as I do that you can't use a proper noun and actually expect it to count." Logan mimicked.  The two looked across the board at each other, neither willing to back down and remove their word.

"Damn." They sighed in defeat, simultaneously, and began to remove their word from the board.

"Hey." Max said flatly, walking out from the hallway.

"Maxie!  You're back." Adriann hugged her sister, receiving nothing but a cold stare in return.  _'Okay…so you're still pissy.'_  "Where's Alec?  Didn't he come back with you?"

"Crash."

"Oh." Adriann took a step back to sit down, carefully watching Max as the weight in her chest grew heavier and the knot in her stomach grew larger.  _'No. No, no, no, no, no.  I want to be wrong.  Nothing is going to happen.  Max and Logan are going to be happy together for the rest of their lives.  Please…please…don't let whatever is about to happen, happen.'_

"Max, hey." Logan said, happy to see her.  "How'd the reunion go?"

"Fine." She answered curtly, her cold eyes darting from Logan to Adriann.

"Are you okay?" He asked, remembering her similar behavior a few days ago.

"It depends."

"On what?" Logan asked, trying to keep his tempter in check.  This game Max was playing was beginning to try his patients.

"…When were you going to tell me that you've been screwing my sister?" Max asked, venom dripping from every word.

'Damn it!'

"What!" Adriann gasped, slowly rising to her feet. "Maxie, you can't actually believe that."

"What I can't believe, is that you would do this to me. After all we've been through." Max said, turning to look at Adriann, finding that she could no longer look at Logan.

"Max, I – we didn't do anything! I don't know who told that Logan and me were…but they were way off base.  I can't believe that you think I could do something like that."  Adriann turned frantically to Logan, her eyes begging him to speak.  "Logan, tell her she's wrong! God Logan, say something!"  Adriann ran her shaking hand through her hair.  _'I don't know what to do.   I have to make her believe me.   Logan say something you moron!'_

"Well, Logan's not denying it." Max looked Adriann in the eye with an icy glare.

"Max…there's nothing to deny.  You have to believe me." Adriann begged, tears filling her eyes.  "Please."

"How could you? Why? Why Logan?" Max whispered, her eyes momentarily showing the pain through the anger.

"Maxie…no…please believe me.  You're my sister, I would never do that to you."  Adriann pleaded reaching out for her sister's arm.

"Don't touch me!  And you are not my sister.  My sister died a long time ago."  Max pulled her arm out of Adriann's reach and turned on her heal, slamming the penthouse door behind her.

Adriann stared at the door for what seemed like for hours, unsure if what just happened was reality or a nightmare.  Slowly, she turned around, looking at Logan, who hadn't moved since Max made her accusation.  _'This can't be happening.  It can't be.  Everything was going so good for all of us…we had the chance to be happy.   I'm dreaming…I have to be dreaming.  Wake up Dre.   Wake up!  Oh God…I am awake…this is real…This is b ad.  Really, really bad.'_

"Why didn't you say anything?" Adriann asked him, her voice low and raw, a thousand different emotions coursing through her veins.  Logan just sat in silence with his head in his hands. "Why didn't you say anything?!" She screamed, sick of his unusual silence.

"I…I don't know." Logan muttered.

"You don't know?"  Adriann mocked.  "What the hell kind of bull is that? You don't know." She spat, her anger rising.

"I don't know, okay? I don't freaking know!"  Logan yelled back.

"Liar."  Adriann hissed, looking him directly in the eye before turning her back on him. _'You know damn well why you didn't. So how 'bout filling me in on it.'_

Slowly and purposefully standing Logan walked up behind Adriann.  "Fine.  You want to know why I didn't say a damn thing?  You really want to know?  I'll tell you."  Adriann turned to face Logan, doing all she could to keep her temper in check.  "Maybe I should have just  gone ahead and done it, at least then Max would have something to be mad about.  But I wanted to make her hurt, like she made me.  And this seemed to be the perfect opportunity."  Logan admitted, coldly.

"You wanted to make her hurt…like she made you.  And screwing me  wouldn't have just made her accusations valid, but it would hurt her and even the score."  Adriann concluded, looking him dead in the eye to make sure she understood him correctly.  Never breaking the eye contact, Adriann pulled her arm back punched Logan with all she had.

"You selfish son of bitch!" Adriann screamed at him, as he lay on his back, holding a hand up to his broken and bleeding nose in shock.  All of his motives and reasoning flooded her mind, as the switch was flipped and all the gaps were filled.  "What the hell is wrong with you?!  What the hell were you thinking? God forbid your precious ego be damaged without some form of retaliation.  What were you thinking?!  Wait…don't answer that…I can do it for you.  You were thinking, 'How dare she turn down my marriage proposal?'  Well how dare you be such an ass and not remember the part where she said 'I can't marry you right now. Someday – yes, I'd love to, but I can't right now.  I'm not ready yet.'  You conveniently left that part out didn't you?  Well, I hope you're happy.  You did exactly what you wanted to…you hurt Max.  You crushed her.  You…broke…her…heart."

"I'd recommend staying right where you are, unless you wanna get knocked on your ass again."  Adriann growled, seeing Logan try to get on his feet.  "Because as shocked as I am about all of this, the thing that really hurts…is that you used me – our friendship –  to carry out your sadistic little scam on my sister.  That is a cruel, thoughtless, heartless, self-absorbed and awful thing to do to someone, let alone the people you claim to love.  How dare you say that I'm your best friend and you love me, then turn around and treat me like a cheap two-bit whore you picked up on the corner?  You are not the man that I thought you were.  You are not the man you claim to be.  And it makes me sick to think that it took me this long to figure out the truth about you.  I don't know if you had this planned, or you just got lucky…but it really doesn't matter all that much, because the end result it still the same."

"But what I don't get, is how you can do so much for people you have never met, and burn the people you've known for years.  You, Logan Cale, are a hypocrite.  Nothing more, everything less.  You make yourself out to be this incredible man; kind, generous, compassionate, selfless, that is until you don't get your way.  Then you don't give a damn who you hurt, or what you have to do to get it.  You'll trample anyone who gets in your way to get what you want.  And this time, you just screwed yourself over, in more ways than one.  Not only, will the 'great and powerful' Eyes Only never be the same, due to the fall of his alter ego, but you lost your girlfriend –  your love, and you lost your best friend.  And you wonder why you've been alone for the majority of your life…no real, deep relationships.  You're not willing to give yourself to anyone, the sacrifice is too great.  Because of that, you are not capable of truly loving someone unconditionally, with no strings attached. "

"No one uses me the way you did tonight, or even attempts to do that to my sister without a second thought and still has my respect.  Not Lydecker, not Manticore, not even you."  Adriann spun around and stalked towards her bedroom to pack her bags.

"I am soooo sick of all of this bullshit!" Logan shouted, climbing to his feet.

"Excuse me?" Adriann said, as she slowly turned to face him.

"You heard me.  I am sick of all this bullshit that you and your Manticore rejects brought with you.  I never had half the problems that I do now before you and the rest of your family showed up.  You all have no idea what it's like to actually feel any emotion, so how dare you tell me how to love.  You were made to be assassins…genetically engineered killing machines.  But instead of actually killing your targets, you take it one step farther and destroy any chance of happiness that they could ever have had.  In my book- that's worse.  And if you ask me, you're the hypocrite.  You're the one who doesn't want to tell Alec that you're actually an X7, not an X5."  He spat.

"Go ahead, blame this on Manticore, blame it on me, call me a hypocrite.  Turn this around so it's about me and my faults.  Anything to keep the focus off the fact that you have faults of your own, and that you're the one who screwed up here!  Not me."  She hissed in return.

"I never claimed to be perfect, Adriann.  I'm actually human, remember?  But unlike you, I don't waltz into people's lives and turn them upside down without their permission or a second thought.  And of all the people to try and 'fix' my life, that wasn't broken in the first place, you showed up – the last person in the world who should have."

"You don't butt into people's lives without their permission?  You've got to be kidding me?  What the hell do you think you do with Eyes Only?  You hack into people's lives and warn them about some great evil among us or the bad guy of the week that they don't give a damn about.   And then you try to make everything all better for the victims of whatever bad-guy you just took out.  How many of those people actually come looking for your help?"  Adriann glared at Logan, with no intention of backing down.

"Adriann, you are nothing more than one of Lydecker's broken toys.  You don't the meaning of what it is to be human, or what it is to be happy.  All you've ever been and all you ever will be is a manufactured killer; heartless, unfeeling, without a soul.  I wish you never showed up at my door 31/2 years ago.  I wish that you never came into my life Adriann – God knows that it would have been a hell of a lot easier, and probably more pleasant.  Why couldn't Lydecker have just let you die when you were supposed to?"

Adriann stood in shock, as she looked at the man before her who now looked like a stranger, reeling from his words.  Taking a deep breath and setting her jaw, Adriann swallowed past the tears that blurred her vision and choked out her voice as her resolve began to crumble.  _'I will not let him see me cry.  I won't give him the satisfaction.  He's not worth my tears.  And he's not worth my time.'_

"I don't know.  But I wish he did too."  Adriann said, so softly that it was barely audible.  Turning her back on him, she trotted into her room, quickly packed her bags, and blew out the front door, never looking back.  _'Goodbye Logan Cale.'_

*-*

**You spend all your time waiting for that second chance,**

**For a break that would make it okay.**

**There's always some reason to feel not good enough,**

**And it's hard at the end of the day.**

**I need some distraction, Oh that beautiful release**

**It's memory seep from my veins**

**Let me be empty, oh and weightless and maybe,**

**I'll find some peace tonight.**

*-*

Adriann didn't remember running down the stairs of Fogle Towers to the parking garage, or driving to Crash, but she must have because she there she sat at the bar, her untouched drink in hand.    
                "Are you sure you wanna drink that?" Mike asked, eyeing Adriann carefully.  "You never drink." "Yes Mike.  I'm sure.  And no, I don't drink, but I think today is a great day to start."  Adriann said, pouring her shot down her throat.  Squeezing her eyes shut, unaccustomed to the burning sensation of the liquor, Dre set the shot glass back on the bar.  "Gimmie another one Mike." "Adriann…" "Mike, I'm a paying customer just like the rest of the people here.  So give me my drink.  Actually, give me the whole damn bottle." Adriann said, slapping down a 20-dollar bill in front of him. "I don't think that's a very good idea.  You're not used to this much alcohol, your tolerance is pretty low."  Mike tried to reason with her. "Give me the bottle of Vodka." She ordered, separating each word and leaning forward on the bar. "Don't say I didn't warn you." Mike said, setting the half empty bottle in front of her and putting her 20 in the cash drawer. "Thank you." Adriann pulled to top off of the bottle and took a swig. "Your concern is noted." Mike shook his head sadly and continued to serve with his other customers.  He didn't know what had happened to make Adriann act like this, but whatever it was, it wasn't good.  
                _'Awww, Mike that's so sweet…you're worried about me.   But tonight, nobody could talk me out of drowning the  past few hours in this bottle.  Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and drown the past few years too.  Oddly enough,  I actually like the feeling of it.  The burning…it lets me know that I'm still alive, that I can still feel…something.  But  the great thing about Vodka, is that it can't break your heart,  and it can't tell you all the truths about yourself that you try to forget – cause Vodka can't talk.'_   
*-*  
  
"I mean, who knew Hawaii wasn't under Florida?" The bubbly blonde giggled, as she snapped her gum for the hundredth time. "Yeah. Yeah…Who knew?" Alec said, his attention directed towards the bar.  _'Dre's here?  Probably giving Max and Logan some quality time.  Or not…what's with the I don't give a damn about anything look?  And why is she drinking?  Forget just drinking, that  girl's slamming back what's left of the bottle.  That's not like her at all.  Maybe Max's bad mood spread?  Then again, maybe not.  What the hell's going on here?  I've got a chick with the IQ of road kill, and a sister who never drinks getting plastered?  Something is not right.  And if she keeps downing the Vodka like that, she'll be road kill.' "Uh - I've gotta go take care of something. So, I'll catch you later." He told the girl as he stepped away from the table and walked towards the bar. "Hey sis, whatcha doin?" Alec asked, sliding onto the stool beside Adriann and her half-empty bottle of Vodka. "Alec? Hi!" Adriann squealed, excitedly.  "What are you doing here?" "Same thing I always do here…waste time."  Alec told her. __'Ok, so pounding the liquor has proved to be effective. She's hammered already.'  "What are you doing here?" "I'm drowning my sorrows in…"  Adriann motioned for him to lean closer, "Vodka."  She whispered, trying her best to stifle a giggle. "Well, I think you're doing a damn good job at it. Give me the bottle." He said, reaching for the liquor she held firmly in her hand. "No!"  Adriann objected, pulling the bottle close to her.  "It's mine!  I paid for it.  Plus, I'm not done yet.  I can still remember why I came." "Dre, give me the bottle.  You've had enough."  Alec pressed. "No, Alec. No."  She said, suddenly sounding incredibly sober. "Fine.  You don't want to give up the booze, okay.  But you are coming with me."  Alec said throwing her arm over his shoulder, picking her up off the stool. "I can walk!"  Adriann protested, pushing Alec away.  Holding his hands up in surrender, Alec backed off a bit for her to walk on her own, ready to catch her if and when she fell.  "See, I can walk just – woo!"  Adriann laughed hysterically, crumbling into Alec waiting arms. "Sure you can." Alec conceded, putting her back on her feet and walking her to the door. "Where are we going Alec?" Adriann asked, swinging around to collide with his chest. "We are going to my place."  He told her, scooping her legs up and carrying her the last few feet to her car and opening the side door. "Why?" She asked, as Alec set her down in the passenger's seat, softly resting her head against the seat, while she curled up into the fetal position. "Two reasons." He said, climbing into the drivers seat and took the keys out of her jacket pocket.  "To get you out of Crash.  God only knows what would happen to you when you're like this.  And so I can sober you up."  Alec started the car, pulled out onto the highway, and drove to his house. "You're gonna take care of me?"  Adriann asked, quietly and childlike. "Yeah, sis.  I am."  Alec whispered, reaching over to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Thanks."  Adriann's eyes suddenly shot open.  "When did we get to your house?" She asked, extremely confused. "About 15 minutes ago." Alec smiled. He hated seeing her like this…but she was funny drunk. "Oh."  Adriann looked around, taking in her surroundings.  She was in Alec's room, sprawled out on his bed still holding onto the Vodka bottle with all her might.  "Yeah…I don't 'member.  No…wait…it's still there." "What's still there?" Alec asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "The hurt.  The pain. The anger.  It's all still there.  A lot of good this did."  She said, waving the bottle around. "Dre,"  Alec gently took the bottle from her grasp, "what happened?" "Max hates me, Logan hates me…I almost hate me.  But it's too late to change anything.  What's done is done.  I can't take back what I said.  And neither can he.  I just wish that I could fix all of this…make Max see the truth…make Logan understand…" "Dre, you're not making any sense.  What happened with Max and Logan?  Are they okay?"  Alec questioned, worried about what may have happened.  Max had been in a lousy mood all weekend, but she wouldn't say why. "I don't know where Maxie went.  But I know she hates me wherever she is.  Logan is still in his penthouse – the arrogant bastard." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, why are you so pissed at Logan?" "Because he used me." "He used you?" "As a weapon.  Just like Manticore always wanted us to be.  Weapons.  Big bad weapons.  Uh-huh, that's what he did." "He used you as a weapon?" "Yep.  He used me to get back at Maxie, because she said that she couldn't marry him yet…down the road some she will…but she wasn't ready yet.  So he used me.  Some how Maxie got it in her head that Logan and me were…were…you know…and she…wait…what was I talking about?" "Logan using you." "Oh yeah…ass…well, when Maxie asked us…he didn't say a damn word.  He just sat there.  I tried to tell her…but…"  Adriann swatted away the tears that had begun to roll down her cheek. "Dre," Alec reached for his sister. "No." She objected, pushing his arm away.  "I don't deserve any pity or…or comfort…or anything like that.  I hit Logan -  hard.  And that's not good…cause you know…I'm stronger that him – a lot stronger.  He's a regular ole human and I'm a revved up killing machine.   I…I told him that he was selfish, and self-absorbed, and a hypocrite.  I said that he wasn't capable of really loving someone.  And I meant every word.  I told him that he wasn't the man I thought he was, and the man that everyone else thought he was… He said that I was just one of Lydecker's broken toys and that I caused nothing but trouble and heartache for him.  That he…he…wished I had never shown up at his door and never come into his life."  Adriann said, rolling away from here brother.  'And he wished Lydecker let me  die when I was supposed to.'   "I wish I could take back what I said…but I can never do that.  The damage has been done." "You were both angry.  I'm sure that he didn't mean it."  He consoled, laying his hand on her arm.  "Dre, I mean it.  You two are best friends, you have been for as long as I've known you.  He's probably doing the same thing you are right now – wishing he could take it all back.  I don't see how he could actually mean anything he said." "I think he did Alec.  There was something in his eyes…it was never there before…it looked like…complete and utter……disgust." Adriann told him, sadly.  "Who can blame him?  I can't.  If I were I'd probably look at me the same way.  I mean I'm just another one of Lydecker's experiments that back fired.  I turned against him.  I'm not supposed to be here Alec.  At least not this version of me."  
                "What do you mean you're not supposed to be here?" Alec asked, as the weight of their conversation began to settle. "I remember dying.  I remember my own death Alec.  Do you know what that's like?  Remembering yourself dying in the field, and then waking up thinking that the doctors must have done their job, but when you look around everything is different.  All your brothers and sisters are a few years too young – and so are you.  And when you look at your barcode…it's different…the reverse actually.  Lydecker said I was too special to just let die in the field.  So let's stick all the knowledge of the dead Adriann in to the new Adriann's brain.  Unfortunately, the memories came along with the knowledge…do I don't remember being an X7…life as an X5 is what I remember.  So I became the freak in the unit…crazy girl who heard voices, saw things no one else could and was growing and aging about 4xs faster than the rest of them and insisted she was an X5." Adriann scoffed. "So can I really blame Logan for saying or thinking what he did.  No.  Because I've thought the same and worse myself.  Who am I to try and fix people's lives, when I can't even fix myself?  I don't even know who I really am.  If you asked me my designation…I'd tell you X5-981, serial number 45381387899.  I have to concentrate, keep reminding myself to say what is genetically true.  X7-981, serial number 99878318354.  All Logan did was tell the truth that I try so hard to hide." She whispered, with tears rolling down her face. "I don't care what Lydecker or anyone else says.  I don't care about designations or serial numbers anymore.  Manticore is gone and they all went with it. You are my sister.  No one can ever change my mind about that." Alec said, holding her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye.  "Okay?"  Quietly nodding, Adriann leaned foreword to rest her head on Alec shoulder and yawned. "You want anything?  Get you some chocolate or something?  Coffee maybe?"  Alec offered weakly, not knowing what else to for her. "Yeah."  Adriann shifted so she was using Alec's chest as a pillow as he leaned back against the wall and lightly wrapped his arms around her for both warmth and comfort. "You can take care of Max and Logan for me – get them back together.  This is just some stupid fluke that will blow over between them.  Find out who put that in Maxie's head…show her how wrong she was…that Logan loves her and would never do that.  I'd do it but I'd just get in the way…that's why I'm leaving it up to you." "What?  You're gonna still be around, right?" Alec looked down at his sister unable to see her face. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning, so I won't be around to fix everything that was broken because of me.  I need you to help fix it all, Alec.  Just get Max and Logan to talk, everything else will fall into place on it's own.  But I need you to get the ball rolling." "You can't really be leaving.  You are completely sloshed Dre, you don't know what you're saying." He countered, not wanting to believe she was leaving him. "I know damn well what I'm saying…" She said sternly, lifting her head briefly to look at him.  "I am leaving, tomorrow morning.  I can't stay here, Alec.  I can't.  Not when nearly everyone in this city that I care about wishes that I never came.  Not when my presence is preventing everything from being put back together and moving forward.  I'm holding them back, when all I ever wanted to do was help.  So for everything to get better I have to leave." "I'll see what I can do about the feuding love-birds.  But, I wish you wouldn't leave."  Alec nodded, taking Adriann into his arms. "I have to.  Besides, I've lived in the shadows before and I was okay, and I can do it again.  I'll be fine."  She said, trying to sound more self-assured than she felt.  "I'm really going to miss you Alec.  You've been great." She muttered into his chest. "I'll miss you too."  He whispered, resting his cheek on her head and his arms tightening around her. "I love you."  Adriann mumbled, as she drifted off to a grief induced sleep. __'I love you too Adriann.  I love you too.'  
  
  
  
In the arms of the angel _

**Fly away from here**

**From this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you feel**

**You are pulled from your wreckage of your silent reverie**

**You're in the arms of the angel,**

**May you find some comfort here.**

~*~Got Me Down~*~

"Okay.  It was good talking to you.  Here she is." Logan handed the phone to Adriann and rolled his eyes.  "He was my friend first and always talks to you longer." He joked.

"Blah blah, woof woof, whine…whine…whine." Adriann winked at Logan with a smile, as she walked over to the couch and flopped down.

"Is he whining again?"

"Isn't he always about one thing or another?" She asked, making sure it was loud enough for Logan to hear.  A second later a ball of paper came flying towards her from his office, followed by the sound of laughter.

"So, my favorite little informant, how's he doing?"

"He's doing really well, Bling.  I mean, he's acting like the Logan that we both know and love.  He's back at Eyes Only, writing, trying to save the world before dinner time…you know the usual.  I even got him to go to Crash the other night, and he had fun!"

"Logan…had fun…at Crash?" Bling chuckled, somewhat stunned.

"Shocking I know.  Go figure."  Adriann laughed.

"It's good to here you laugh again, Dre.  It's been a while since I've hear a real laugh coming from you – at least around me." Bling told her, turning the discussion towards her for a moment.

"Yeah, well…I've done a lot of growing up in the past 2 ½ years Bling.  And I took a long hard look in the mirror and didn't really like what I saw.  So I changed it.  It took some time, some tears and some harsh realizations, but I did it.  And I can stand myself now.  I know it's my own fault that you ended up running to Heather and are now the happiest married man and father I have ever seen."  Adriann admitted, good naturedly.  'And for once I actually believe what I'm saying and don't hate myself for it.  Maybe I really am growing up.'

"But I didn't help any.  I didn't even try to understand what you were going through…or even bother to try listening to what you were saying.  I'm as much to blame as anyone.  Dre, you can't take the brunt of the blame." Bling insisted.

"Maybe not, but I can always try."  She quipped in return.

"Once a CO, always a CO." Bling laughed.

"Too bad I was never a CO."

"Maybe not officially, but  you were and are CO in every sense of the word.  I know you remember that night at Manticore as well as I do.  And if you were ever a CO…it was then." He pointed out.  Adriann could picture his face halfway across the country and couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, I remember it…but I was just doing what I had to do to protect the people I love, not being a CO." Adriann told him, suddenly serious.

"Like I said, you may not have the rank officially, but you are a CO at heart.  And a damn good one at that."

"Thanks…I think.  I hope I can leave the soldier behind though.  She's never gotten me anything but trouble and heart ache."

"You don't have to worry about that honey…you've always had to big of a heart to be a true soldier.  You do what you have to, to make sure that the people you love are safe and happy with no thought of yourself.  A soldier is only concerned with the mission objective…which you never gave a rip about, unless it was under you terms."

"Why is it that you can always find the right words to say whenever I fell like Manticore might be starting to creep back into my brain?" Adriann questioned, staring out the window trying to find the answer to her question.

"Cause I know you, Dre.  Sometimes you need to be reminded of who you really are, not who you think you are"

"Bling, you need to come visit us you know that."

"Yeah, that's what Logan told me." He said, thoughtfully.

"So you'll come visit?" Adriann asked, hopefully.

"One of these days I'll drop by and surprise you two." Bling replied, dancing around the question.

"Suuuuuure…that's what you always say.  And I have yet to see your butt in Seattle."

"Why would you be looking at my butt?" Bling toyed.

"Ha…ha…ha." She said, un-amused.  "I know that Logan would really love to see you."

"Yeah…I'll be out there soon.  I gotta see for myself that he's doing alright.  Not that I don't believe you, but I just need to see it for myself, you know?"

"Yeah.  I do have to warn you though, he probably won't want to talk about the first year or so.  It's like the dark ages for him and he'd rather forget how much it hurt than go back there."

"You're not letting him get away with that are you?"

"Of course not.  But I was there for it and I helped him through it, so it's a little different for him to talk about it with me than you.  He doesn't have to explain and tell all the gory details all over again with me, because I know them all.  We're at a place now where he can pick up in the middle of a conversation that he's been having in his head and actually start talking and I know what he's talking about.  Because you've been gone for so long…I don't think you could do that anymore."

"Are you kidding me, I don't think I ever could do that with him.  I stopped trying to figure that boy out a long time ago and just went with the flow." Bling admitted.

"But you know what I mean?  That first year was a really bad and painful place for him and he doesn't like to revisit it."

"Yeah, I understand.  As long as you're not letting him forget it.  Because if he does…he'll be worse in the long run when he has to remember it somewhere down the road, because Max has decided to show her face again."

"I know, and she's bound to do that someday.  Just wish I knew when she planned on doing that."  She muttered with a sigh. "I'm talking good care of him Bling.  No worries." Adriann consoled.

"I knew that Logan was in good hands the second I heard you were there with him.  Thanks for that by the way.  I was gonna come out and stay with him for a while when I heard Max took off, just to make sure he was doing okay and didn't do anything stupid.  But then I heard that you had come back just before she ran and I knew that he was better off with you than he would have been with me.  You always understood him in a way I never could, and you could help in ways I could never really grasp."  
                "I dunno about that.  You are a guy and you get the whole testosterone driven thinking thing, which just baffles me – always has.  But I'm glad I was here for him and could be a shoulder to cry on, if nothing else."

"Dre, you are the man's best friend in the world.  You know everything there is to know about him.  So how can you possibly think that you were nothing more than a shoulder to cry on?" Bling said, dumbfounded.

"I dunno.  I never feel like I'm doing anything other than getting tissues and saying 'It'll be okay.'  Best friend or not, sometimes…most times, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and if I'm even doing any good in the situation."  
                "Trust me, you are doing a whole lotta good in the situation Dre.  You really are.  I haven't heard Logan as happy as he is today in…years, if ever.  Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I would think that you two have something going on that you're not telling me about."

"Bling…really." Adriann sighed.  'Where does he get this stuff?'

"I'm sorry but it's true.  The way he was talking about you…I think the boys' got a thing for you."

"Bling, I am his girlfriend's sister for crying out loud." Adriann said, caught off guard by his statement.  'He's got to be joking. Like Logan would ever think of me like that.'  
                "Ummm…EX-girlfriend.  And you know what they say."

"And what is it that they say Bling?" Adriann asked, exasperated.

"From friendship comes love.  And you two are definitely more than just buddies…you two are the closest set of friends I've ever seen.  And I've seen a lot of friends in my day."

"Oh please.  I'm not buying it, Bling.  No way."  'Maybe he's not kidding.  He can't be serious…Logan and me?  No way…even if I did ever, possibly, think about thinking about it…he's outta my league.  Besides, that would never happen.  Would it? Of course it wouldn't.'

"Fine, think what you want my dear.  But there is something going on in that penthouse that neither one of you is willing to admit.  Mark my words, Adriann…(you need a middle name)…something's going on."

"Uh-huh, yeah…sure it is.  You keep telling yourself that and I'll continue to keep in touch with reality." Adriann mocked.

"You do that." Bling instructed.

"I will." Adriann said, stubbornly.

"Good." Bling laughed at her persistence that obviously hadn't changed.

"Maybe it's best that we change the subject." Adriann suggested after a slight pause, trying to hide the laughter from her voice.

"Okay, I can do that.  How's Alec?" Bling asked, any feigned animosity completely forgotten.

"He's good."

"Oh, so now I only get two word answers?  I'm hurt." He joked.

"I can see how 'He's good' is such a scarring blow." Adriann laughed.  'Ahhh…The banter never dies.'  "Really, he's good.  It's nice to have a brother again.  Granted in the beginning I had to remind myself every once and a while that he wasn't Ben.  But, now instead of thinking it was one of life's cruel little jokes to give me a guy who looks exactly like my dead brother but not be Ben, I see it as getting another brother and another chance almost.  I get keep all the great memories of my time with Ben, and they'll never be tainted by something stupid he said or did now, and I get a whole new brother who is totally different from Ben, but reminds me of him so often in the simplest things that he does.  It really is a huge blessing to have Alec in my life, Bling.  I don't know what I'd do without him sometimes.  He my best friend next to Logan and I know I can count on him for anything and he'll be there when I need him."

"You sound happy." Bling told her, his smile evident in his voice.

"You know what?  I think I might be.  I've never really been happy for an extended period of time…or really truly happy for that matter.  So I'm not sure what it feels like, but this is the closest I've ever been to happy…I think."

"Again I say, you sound happy."

"Thanks." She laughed lightly.

"It's been good talking to you, Dre.  We should do it more often." Bling said, regretting the long silences that have plagued them for the past 3 years.

"We should.  And just because we feel like talking to each other, not because you want your quarterly report on Logan, or I have something I need to tell you about him.  But because we miss talking to each other."

"Exactly.  I miss you Adriann.  You were a really great friend for a while.  Then things got…"

"Bling, what did I tell you about calling me Adriann?"  She asked, sounding suddenly stern.

"Oh sorry, my bad…Dre." Bling corrected.

"That's better.  And, yes we were close at one point in time.  I think it's time to get back there again…in a platonic sort of way anyway."

"Yeah…completely platonic is good.  I know that Heather will appreciate platonic." He joked.

"I guess that means no spontaneous trips to Morocco, or some other wonderfully tropical heaven then huh?"

"I'm afraid not.  Unless you would want it to be a double date; me and Heather, you and Logan." Bling offered, entering extremely dangerous territory.  "Okay, okay, I'll stop I can feel the look burning through my soul half way across the country." Bling laughed, unconsciously cringing.

"Good." Adriann said, curtly.

"I'll talk to you later, okay sweetie?"

"Yeah, you will."

"Bye."

"Bye." Adriann said, almost sadly as she punched the button to hang up the phone and sighed.  _'He had to be kidding around with that Logan thing.  It's Bling…so yeah…he was joking.  Like Logan would ever…I mean, it's just me.  Good ole Adriann…reliable, protective…super-soldier best friend…that's me…not oh she's hot…maybe there's something there on a romantic level, can't live without her…girlfriend material Adriann.  That's just not me, never has been really.  Yeah.  Bling just felt like screwing with my head is all.  Yeah…well he did a fine job at it that's for sure.'_

*-*

"Are you coming or not?" Adrian called, from the comfort of the couch as she tossed her book on the table.

"Yeah…I'll be right there." Logan answered, sounding more than a little distracted.

_'Sure.  That's what you said 20 minutes ago and you are still putzing around with that stupid computer.  The thing is fried Logan. I could have told you that 5 hours ago, but no…you have to figure it out for yourself while you waste hours trying to fix the piece of junk.'_

"Yeah, sure you are." She sighed.

"I am." He replied,  lifting his head to look in her direction.  "Just give me…five minutes." 

Silently, Adriann walked up behind Logan where he was sitting at his desk, hunched over a partially melted circuitry disk, and wrapped her arms around him and crouched to rest her chin on his shoulder. "I've already given you 20." She whispered sweetly, her eyes revealing her slight irritation.

"But –" 

"Logan, you've been trying to fix that thing for 5 hours.  It's fried.  It's trashed.  You can't fix that.  It's half melted for goodness sake." Adriann stood and pick up the mangled piece of plastic and metal.  "Say goodbye." She added, tossing it down into the garbage can beside the desk.

"I know." Logan sighed, leaning his head back against her.  "You're right." He added, looking up at Adriann.

"I know." She smirked, "If you want I can get you a new one tomorrow - enjoy the benefits of having a revved up best friend?" Adriann offered.

                "You don't need to do that, Dre."

                "That would be why I'm _offering_ to do it." 

                "You ready to watch that movie?" Logan asked, successfully changing the subject.

                "I think the question is are you ready to watch it…cause I've _been_ ready."  Adriann said rolling her eyes at his shameless avoidance of the question.

                "I am more than ready."  Logan said, effortlessly picking Adriann up and throwing her over his shoulder.  It was easy for him to forget that as small as she was, she was more than capable of throwing him across the room like a rag doll without breaking a sweat – even though he knew she never would.

                "Hey!" She squealed, "Logan, put me down.  Put me down!" Adriann laughed, barely attempting to fight back.

                "Now why would I do that?" He asked, walking out his office door.

                "Because you know I can beat you like a five year old in K-Mart." She said into his back.

                "K-Mart huh?" Logan laughed, "I hardly remember K-Mart, so how on earth do you even know about it?"

                "I dunno, I think I heard it on some old TV re-run marathon.  And I thought that this would be an appropriate time to use it."

                "I agree."

                "So are you gonna put me – ahhh! – down." Adriann asked again, as Logan dropped her down onto the couch.

                "Yep." He grinned.  "You want anything?" Logan asked over his should as he walked into the kitchen.

                "Have I ever not wanted food?" 

                "No."

                "So why ask?" Adriann said, looking back at Logan as he came back with a bowl of popcorn, a bowl of chips and two cans of soda.

                "I dunno, it's this stupid habit of being courteous.  I really should break that one."  Logan smirked, handing over the popcorn and a can of soda.  

                "Well my dear, since it was your turn to pick the movie, how about you fill me on what fine film you chose." He asked, sitting down beside his best friend, and cracking open his soda. 

                "I heard that it was a really great movie…so I read the book while I was waiting for you to get your butt out here –"

                "You read the book in 20 minutes?" Logan smiled.

                "Actually, I read it twice in 20 minutes, but who's counting?  Anyway the book was really great so the movie has to be good too." Adriann rattled off, between fist-fulls of popcorn.

                "And what would the name of this movie be?"

                "A Walk to Remember.  I know it's kinda old, but the book was just so….so…good.  I couldn't not watch the movie."

                "I remember that one.  It came out when I was a kid." Logan recalled, hitting the play button on the remote control.

                "You've seen it before!" Adriann whined, disappointedly. 

                "Yeah, but it was a very long time ago.  I wouldn't mind seeing it again." Logan comforted,  "I hardly remember anything other than the general plot."

                "Okay." She sighed, tipping over somewhat to lean on Logan's shoulder.  "Want some popcorn?" Adriann offered him the practically empty bowl with a grin.

                "Oh, so you are gonna share." Logan laughed.

                "Hey, you were warned a long time ago…I don't always play well with others.  Besides, I was hungry."  She added, with an innocent pout. 

                "Oh no, don't you play little miss innocent with me.  I know you too well to fall for that one." He replied, holding back the laughter fighting to get out.

                "Hey!  Logan, that hurts me.  I'm scarred for life.  I could need therapy.  And you're gonna pay for it if I do." Adriann toyed, sitting up straight and poking him in the chest for emphasis. 

                "Oh please –"

                "Shhh….it's starting." Adriann cut him off, putting her finger over his mouth.  "Unlike you I haven't seen this before so I can't miss anything."

                "Sorry." Logan said, his voice muffled by her finger and its hold on his lips.

                "It's okay.  I forgive you and I still love ya." She told him, kissing him quickly on the cheek.  "Now, hush." 

                Grabbing the blanket at the end of the couch, Adriann pulled it up over her shoulders and curled up next to Logan, using his shoulder as a pillow.

                "Comfy?" Logan whispered, glancing down at her.

                "I guess." She said quietly, her attention focused on the movie.   Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, Logan leaned back against the arm of the couch, gently pulling her back with him.  

                "Better?" He asked, spreading the blanket out over them.

                Back up against him and adjusting the blanket Adriann sighed, "Much."

                "Good." Logan muttered, as he casually draped his arm on her waist.

*-*

As the movie credits began to roll across the screen, Adriann yawned silently and stretched; her feline DNA evidently controlling her motions.  Yet another movie night had come to an end.  
                _'That is such a great story.  It breaks my heart, but gives me hope for the world at the same time.  It makes you see just how powerful love really is.  It can change the world.  And what's Logan do?  He falls asleep.  But he usually does with 'chick flicks'.' _

Logan let out a whinny groan when Adriann attempted to sit up, and stubbornly pulled her back down beside him.  "Hey…you're my blanket.  You can't just leave."

"Is that so?" Adriann smiled, as Logan wrapped his arms around her making sure she knew he had no intention of letting her go anywhere.

"Uh-huh." He replied, sleepily.

"Well, as cozy as it may be squeezing both our butts on a couch barely big enough for one of us, I'm exhausted and I'm hoping to get a couple of hours of sleep. I can't do that while being your blanket." She said, patting his arm.

"What's your point?" He toyed.

"My point, Logan dearest, is that I'm going to bed."  Adriann sat up, put her feet on the ground, and turned to face her roommate who refused to relax his hold on her.  "Goodnight." She finished, with a ritual kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight." He sighed, in a protesting childlike tone.

"Logan."

"Hmmm."

"You've got to let go." Adriann informed, gazing down at her half asleep roommate.  _'He looks so young and peaceful when he's sleeping.  Well, half asleep in this case, but the fact remains.  I wish I got the chance to just watch him sleep more often these days.'_

"Why?" He asked, a grin finally spreading across his face, blowing his cover.

"You are such a dork." Adriann laughed, falling back onto Logan.

"I thought you were going to bed?" Logan asked, as Adriann snuggled up next to him once again.

"I am." She sighed, contently.

"Could have fooled me." He laughed.  "Come on, let's get you to bed."  Slowly, Logan sat up and helped Adriann sit at the same time.

"Alright, alright, I'm going…I'm going.  Goodnight."  Adriann twisted to face Logan and kiss him on the cheek once more before heading off to bed.  Only this time she hesitated a second too long and Logan turned head so that the kiss didn't land on his cheek as it usually did, and was supposed to, but his lips.

_'Oh my God!  He's kissing me.  Adriann, you're kissing him back.  You should stop this.  I should stop this.'_

Quickly, Adriann snapped her head back and sat up rigidly on the edge of the couch trying to catch her breath and collect her thoughts.  From the corner of her eye, she saw Logan doing the same.

"Uhh…yeah…Goodnight." Adriann stammered, before hurrying into her bedroom and hiding behind the safety of the door.  Slumping back against the wall, Adriann stared at the door as her mind raced nearly out of control. _'Oh…my…God… That did not just happen…did it?  Yep, I think it did.'  Adriann's fingers rose to her lips of their own accord as she replayed the last few moments in her head.  __'Yeah it definitely happened.  Holy  crap! I just kissed Logan…no he kissed me…wait…no…ARGH!!!  Life made more sense back in Manticore than it does right now.  Logan is my best friend right?  Right.  So what the heck just happened back there?!  You do not kiss your best friend the way that we just did…unless…no…don't even go there Adriann…don't even.  Bling, I'm going to kill you for even putting the idea in my head.  Logan is…well…Logan.  He's practically like my brother.  Then why did my heart skip a beat when he touched me, and why did I suddenly forget how to breathe?'_

"Adriann." Logan called from the hallway as he closed the gap between himself and her door.

_'Ok…just get a hold of yourself Adriann.  It's just Logan.  You know…your good ole buddy Logan; the guy who can't bake, or admit when he's wrong, or  take no for an answer…the guy you've lived with for years…the unbelievably  sweet and gorgeous man that you…ADRIANN!  Stop that…control your hormones woman! Honestly.  He's gonna be walking through that door any – now.'_

"Logan..." Adriann sputtered, failing miserably at sounding anything near normal.  The next the she knew, Logan had taken her face in her hands and kissed her, this time much slower and deeper, taking her breath away.  Finally breaking the kiss, Logan took a half step back and smiled.

"Goodnight Dre." He whispered, before lightly kissing her forehead and walking out and shutting the door behind him.

Stunned, Adriann stood in silence.  _'I need to sit…definitely need to sit.  But I can't feel my legs.'  Carefully, Adriann sat down on the edge of her bed fighting for some form of rational thought.  __'What is going on?  Everything that used to make sense in my life, doesn't anymore.  I mean…me and Logan…kissing?  And, then there's Max.  Sure she's been gone for 2 1/2 years, but that doesn't change the fact that Logan loves her and she loves him.  If she ever found out about this she would beat me into next week, deservedly so.'_

Adriann sighed frustratedly, and flopped backwards like a rag-doll starring at the ceiling.  _'The more I think about this the more confused I get.  Except for one thing that has been floating around in the back of my head since from the beginning; I can't wait until I can kiss him again.'_

*-*

_'Oh, I so blame Logan for this one.  If it weren't for him kissing me, then I would have been asleep for hours by now and probably just waking up.  But no…he had to throw my world in an uproar didn't he?  Who does he think he is, walking in and kissing me like that?  Huh?  And now I can't sleep.  I can't stop thinking long enough to sleep.  I really need to talk to him.  I need to find out if he's as thrown by all this as I am, or if I'm completely delusional and none of it ever happened.  And if that's true I have more issues than I thought.'_  Throwing the blanket to the side, Adriann climbed out of bed and began to pad across the penthouse to the master bedroom.  _'Logan, if you're not awake already…you're gonna be.'_

"Logan?" Adriann called quietly, opening his bedroom door.  "You awake?"  The room was softly lit by the slivers of moonlight that found it's way through the shades.  Logan was laying in the middle of the bed, surrounded by sheets and blankets that had been thrown to either side of him, with his hands frustratedly gripping his hair.

"Yeah." He muttered, without moving.

"I can't sleep either." Adriann sighed, trying to buy herself some time to figure out what to say.  "Can I talk to you about…about what happened?" She asked meekly, taking a few steps closer to the bed then a few back towards the wall thinking better of it.

"I know…I know…I was completely out of line.  I don't know what I was thinking, or if I was thinking at all." Logan apologized,  while sitting up, but still unable to look her in the eye.  "I'm sorry, Dre.  I am so sorry.  It won't happen again."

"But…but…what if I want it to?"  Adriann asked, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.  _'Did I really just say that out loud?  Great job Dre…way to cross the line to the point of no return………AND MAKE A COMPLETE FOOL OF YOURSELF!'_

"What?" Logan asked, looking more confused than ever as his eyes finally met hers.

"Well…ummm…I…what I mean is…argh!" Running her hands though her hair, Adriann groaned in frustration.  _'Complete sentences are always a plus…so why don't ya use one!'_

"Okay, let's try this again." Adriann sighed.  "This is all so unreal Logan.  Right now I can't tell which way is up and which way is down.  It's like someone came and turned my world upside down so everything that used to make sense to me wouldn't.  And I'm probably not making any sense now when I'm trying to explain it."  Taking one final step backward, Adriann hit the wall and lightly hit her head against it.

"Logan I…I have no clue what I'm saying…or what I'm trying to say really.  I am just so confused right now.  I can barely tell which way is up." She admitted, in defeat.

"I know what you mean." He sighed.

"I guess what I mean is…this isn't the huge tragedy that you might think it is.  It wasn't…bad." Adriann ventured, not knowing what she was going to say until the words were already being said.  She was running on auto-pilot.

"Really?" Logan asked, cracking a grin.

"Yeah.  What?" Adriann searched his eyes for what he thought was so amusing.  "Oh…oh…" Seeing the double meaning of her words, Adriann couldn't help but laugh at herself.  "I meant that the kiss wasn't bad…I mean it wasn't…I am such a moron."  Realizing that trying to recover and explain what she said was a lost cause, Adriann slid down the wall to sit on the floor.  Completely humiliated, she pulled her knees up to her chest and held her head in her hands.  _'Wow…you really are an idiot.  You've been talking since you were a year old and somehow you've lost the ability to form complete and coherent sentences.  And when you manage to pull one off…you screw it up with a double meaning.  Then as if that wasn't enough, you find a way to embarrass even more by trying to explain and elaborate.  MORON!!!!  How have you managed to survive for 24 years?  Really, how?   This is why you are and have been single Adriann.  Because you're a dork.'_

"Dre…"Logan began, through his laughter.

_'And now you've got him laughing at you.  Any unlikely chance you might have had, is now shot.'_

"Logan, don't.  Please.  I'm already embarrassed enough.  I don't need to hear your attempt at a gentle blow off.  I'm just gonna go back to my room, curl up in the corner, and die."  Adriann groaned, without lifting her head from her hands.

"Dre, you might want to hear this." Logan said, finally in control of his laughter.

"Trust me, I don't."

"Adriann-"

"Logan." She said harshly, lifting her head to look him in the eye.  "You're off the hook, okay.  You don't need to come up with some nice way to let me down and spare my feelings.  I get it.  I'm delusional.  I'm insane.  And I was totally off base to even think…"

_'Bling, I blame you and you will pay.'_

With an aggravated sigh, Logan got off his bed and kneeled down on the floor beside Adriann, taking her head in his hands.

"Will you just shut up and listen to me for a minute before you go off on your tangent?  I was trying to say that I thought you were upset by it.  I wish I could tell you why I kissed you, but I can't because, I don't know.  But I can tell you that I don't regret doing it.  I wish I'd done it sooner." He said, looking directly into her endless blue eyes.

"Really?" She asked, as a spark of hope began to shine in her eyes.

"Yeah.  I thought you were gonna beat the crap out of me…in a manner of speaking.  I was praying that you and I were on the same page, but I doubted it."

"I was thinking the same thing.  I mean, I was shocked that you…but I was more shocked that I wanted it to happen again.  I never imagined that you…I mean…I thought that you'd be regretting it till the day you died." Adriann smiled, excited that she wasn't as big of a fool as she thought.  "I guess that part of me thought that you'd stay faithful to Max forever…no matter what." She whispered, unsure if this was a wise time to bring up her sister who remained MIA.  Logan smiled sadly as he pulled his hands away from Adriann's face and leaned back slightly to sit down.  Slowly her smile faded, as she saw the direction that their conversation was about to turn.

The small gesture of puling his hands back at the mention of Max began to speak volumes to Adriann.  _'He still loves her, and always will.  I was right, he'll remain true to her for the rest of his life and kissing me tonight was a mistake that won't happen again.  I should have known better.  Logan may want to pursue something, but his heart won't let him, because it belongs to Max.'_

"Dre, I will always love Max.  Nothing can ever change that.  But we had so many secrets, and so much had changed in that last year.  The confidence and trust that we used to have was gone.  I knew that as far as my safety was concerned, if it was in her power she'd never let anything happen to me, and I would do the same.  But romantically, the distrust grew with every passing week.  It wasn't because of Alec or Asha or Rafer or even the virus really, it was because of us.  Don't get me wrong, the virus didn't help any and definitely made things worse, but the core of our problems was us.  We were both so scared of losing each other that we always thought we were.  It doesn't really make a lot of sense to me – even now, but I know that's what it was.  We let our fears get the better of us, and we subsequently fell apart."  Logan looked over  from the wall to Adriann, who had curled into a tighter ball than before and was resting her chin on her knees, her smile gone.

"But it's only a part of me that will love Max forever, just like there will always be a part of you that still loves Bling.  Maybe I've been stupid or blind for all the years I've known you, or maybe I wasn't supposed to see it until now, but you reach a part of me no one else ever has; Not Max,  not Valerie, not Daphne, no one but you.  You understand me better than anyone, better than me sometimes.  You've always been there when I've needed you, you're the best friend I've ever had…I can't stand the thought of you not being here with me.  The past few weeks whenever you go to Crash, I find myself watching the clock, listening for the door, and hating the idea of you being there with sleazy guys hitting on you and dancing with you touching you.  I was jealous of guys that might not even exist."

"They don't exist, trust me." Adriann muttered, doing all she could to not get her hopes up again.  'There's a 'But' coming. There has to be.'

"Strangely enough, I don't feel any better because I know that they're looking.  But, what I'm doing a really awful job at saying is…I always knew that you were an amazing person and I was incredibly lucky to have met you and have you in my life.  Then all of a sudden you and I were best friends, I trusted you with things I've never trusted anyone with and I knew the same was true for you.  And a few weeks ago…especially a few days ago…every time I saw you, it was like I was looking at you for the first time.  Like I was rediscovering everything that I loved about you; the way your eyes light up along with the rest of your face when you smile, and when you laugh your eyes sparkle and dance.  How I can tell who you're worried about by where you are in the house and the look on your face.  And the way I can feel your presence in a room before I see you, and the way that you are so entirely genuine and heartfelt in everything you do and say.  The way you only want the best for everyone and would do anything for the people you care about if it would make them happy.  And how you are so completely selfless in all that you do.  And how when you're sad or upset about something, I'd do just about anything to make you smile.  And it kills me to see you cry."  Shifting slightly so he was facing her more directly, Logan lifted Adriann's chin forcing her to look him in the eye.

"Adriann, you are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night.  I miss you the second you walk out of the room.  Every time I see you I get butterflies in my stomach, and every time we touch I have to remind myself to breathe.  Every minute we're apart seems like an eternity, and when we are together blinking is too long to not see you."

"Logan, I don't know what to say." Adriann stumbled.

"Say you'll have dinner with me tomorrow night, right here in the penthouse.  I'll cook, we'll have our own little restaurant up here, away from the world and all it's interruptions and distractions."

"Where's the 'but'?" She asked, quietly fighting the tears that were trying to fill her eyes.

"The 'but'?" Logan looked at her quizzically.

"Yeah.  The 'but'.  You're saying all the right things, telling me everything I want to hear.  Everything is just too…perfect.  There has to be a 'but' somewhere."

"There's no 'but' sweetie.  Promise."

"There has to be one…nothing this good has ever happened to me without a 'but' before, so why wouldn't there be one?" She asked, as a determined tear spilled over her lashes.

"Because I meant every word I said, and I have no regrets about any of it."  Logan gently wiped away her tear with his thumb and kissed her forehead lightly.  "You've managed to touch a place in my heart no one's ever touched.  I'm not looking for any lame title, sex, or for you to wear a ring…all I want is to touch your heart."

"Are you trying to make me cry?" Adriann asked, laughing and crying at the same time.

"No."

"Well you did." She said smiling.

"I know sweetheart, and I'm sorry." Logan apologized softly, wiping away each tear.

"You really mean all that?"

"I've never meant anything more in my life." Logan told her, surprised at the honesty behind the statement he didn't know he was going to say. "Never meant anything more."

"You are quite possibly the sweetest man I have ever met." Adriann whispered, slowly leaning in to Logan's lips.  She paused millimeters away from his lips and whispered, "I'll make dessert."  With that, no words were spoken for the rest of the night.

*-*

"Well it took him long enough." Alec said, shutting his locker in the back of Jam Pony headquarters.

"Uhmmm-hmmm." Cindy added, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back on a row of lockers.

"What are you guys talking about?" Adriann asked, baffled by her friend's lack of shock.

"Listen to Original Cindy Lil' Boo; you and Richie Rich were the last to know that there was somethin' going down between you too.  I for one, saw this comin' a mile away."

"Yeah baby sister, it was obvious to everyone but the tow of you." Alec told her, draping his arm over her shoulders.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Alec and Cindy replied in unison.

"Hey Golden Boy!  If you could spare a moment of your time to go on a run or two, your paycheck could actually be in the double digits." Normal bellowed, across the Jam Pony receiving area.

"Yeah…I'll be right there." Alec answered, by habit.  "I'll see you later Sis.  Cindy." He said, taking a few steps backward and shooting a wink at his sister.

"That boy has sure done a lot of growin' up in the past few years." OC mumbled.

"I know."

"What happened to the self-serving, I don't give a damn about anyone but myself unless they have money I could use to cover my own ass, Alec that we all loved to hate?" Cindy said, sighing reminiscently.

"I dunno, but my life has been a lot less dramatic since he left.  And I've had far fewer messes of his to clean up."  Adriann sat down on the bench to tie her sneakers.

"Yeah I don't miss him either."

"You should see the look Normal is giving you." Adriann said, suppressing a laugh as she snuck one more look at Normal's icy glare.

"What, the 'I'd fire you if I  could afford it' look?" She asked, mockingly.

"That and 'I don't want to get too mouthy with you cause you could put me in the ICU' look." Dre added, loosing the battle with her laughter.

"At least he knows it." Cindy said with a smirk, turning on her heal and walking over to Normal for a package.

A few minutes later Adriann met Original Cindy and Alec by the corner of the building, her bag loaded with packages waiting to be delivered. 

"Okay sis, meet me at Crash around three.  Whatever signatures and packages you have still I'll take for you, so you can get back to the pent house and get ready for your date with Logan." Alec explained, draping his arm around her shoulders protectively. 

"And I'll handle Normal.  I'll tell him something so he won't be on your back tomorrow…or the next day, depending on how things go tonight." Cindy continued, with a suggestive glance.

"Thanks guys.  Really.  And I _will _see you tomorrow O.C.." Dre said eying her friend.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  That means about as much to me as 'we're not like that'." Cindy mumbled, stepping onto her bike.  "Good luck tonight lil' boo."  She added, leaning over to give Dre a hug, before riding off to begin her runs.

"Everything will go fine tonight Dre.  It'll be perfect." Alec whispered, as if he had read her mind.

"Promise?" Her anxiety about the evening showing through.

"It will be if I have anything to do with it." 

"But you don't have anything to do with it." Adriann reminded, with a loving grin. 

"That's what you think." Alec winked.  "But really, you've got nothing to worry about.  You and Logan care about each other too much to risk ruining what you already have.  Tonight and last night are about exploring the possibility of…taking the next step, seeing if it's worth the risk." 

"I know.  That's what I keep telling myself.  But Alec, I never realized until last night, just how much Logan means to me.  Even thinking about the possibility of ever losing him…I can barely breathe.  I never wanted to anything like this to happen, because of who and what I am.  I've already put too many people in danger, and if anything ever happened to any of them, because of me –"

"That's not going to happen Dre.  You won't let it, I won't, and Cindy and Logan won't.  You have just as much the right to be happy as any one else, and this looks to be your chance.  So take it, and stop worrying." Alec told her, taking her face in his hands.

"Okay…okay." Adriann sighed, as Alec kissed her forehead.  "I love you." She whispered.

"I know." He smiled, "I love you too.  Now the sooner you get started the sooner you'll be done.  So go.  Bip, bip, bip." Alec said mockingly. 

Rolling her eyes, Adriann climbed on her bike. "I'll see you at three." She called over her shoulder as she rode away.

*-*

                "This is the only one I have left.  I couldn't get all the way to sector 9 and be back here in time." Adriann explained, handing Alec the clip board with all her signatures and the remaining package.  She had met him on the corner, half a block away from Crash five minutes earlier.

                "Wow, you must have hauled it today.  I was expecting at least six packages…nervous energy?" Alec asked, looking up as he continued to put the clip board in his messenger bag.  

                "No…not really…maybe a little…yes." Adriann muttered, nervously cracking her knuckles and shifting from one foot to the other.

                "Hey?  What did I tell you this morning?" He said, lifting her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye.

                "I have nothing to worry about.  We're just exploring the possibilities…blah, blah, blah."

                "Right.  Now, how about you try believing it.  Anyway, aren't dates supposed to be fun?" 

                "Yeah, I think that's the general concept.  Or so I've heard." Adriann replied, trying to hold back a smile.

                "Then have fun…be excited." Alec said, with a goofy grin.

                "That's the thing – will you get that stupid  look off your face - " Adriann laughed, "I am excited, that's why I'm so nervous.  I really don't wanna screw this up.  I like him a lot, Alec.  More than I probably should." 

                "Stop…Go and have fun.  And stop worrying." Alec ordered, as he began pushing Adriann down the sidewalk towards Crash's parking lot.

                "Alright I'm going!  I'm going.  You don't need to walk me there I'm a big girl, I think I can handle walking half a block all by myself." Adriann objected, playfully pushing Alec back.

                "Okay.  I'm off to finish my runs and your one run.  Remember to have fun…and ENJOY yourself tonight."

                "I will.  Promise." She ensured, hugging her brother tightly.  "And, thank you."

                "Anything for my favorite sister." Alec whispered through her hair.  "Good luck."

                "I'll see you tomorrow." Adriann said, taking a step backwards.

                "I want details." Alec informed, climbing on his bike and began peddling in one fluid motion. 

                "Uh-huh, and I'm sure you'll get them." She laughed.

                "Of course I will." Alec told her, a cocky grin plastered on his face.

                "Not in this lifetime." 

                "Keep telling yourself that, and maybe it'll be true."

                "Don't you have work to do?" Adriann smiled, reminding him of the unpleasant reality of work.

                "Technically, yes." Alec's smiled faded.

                "Then…Bip, bip, bip Golden Boy." Adriann yelled, as her brother's figure disappeared around the corner, his laugh tagging behind.   

                Smiling, Adriann turned on her heal and continued to walk towards the parking lot.  _'Yeah, I'm nervous because I'm excited.  That's what it is.  That and the nagging little question in the back of my mind…'I know where Logan stands as far as he and I on the Max issue, and I know that Alec is always behind me, but Cindy.  Cindy I don't know what's going on in her head on this one.  She was Max's best friend, and would cause some serious harm to anyone who hurt or tried to hurt her.  Then again, Cindy's my friend too…and she seems okay with it.  She is helping me get out early today…well, at least she's not wishing me dead because of this.  So, maybe I'm just blowing it all out of proportion in my head – like I usually do.  I mean honestly, when does Cindy ever keep her opinions to herself?'_

_                'Plus, I am really excited about tonight.  And knowing Logan as I do, he'll probably have an incredibly romantic set up or something.  Who knows what he has in store?  I know Logan better than anyone and I am completely clueless.  Ahhhh…I am soooo excited!  I can't believe this is actually happening.  I mean Logan's been my best friend for years and now…now he's, well he could be more.  I hope we'll be more.  After last night…I think he hopes we'll be more.  We'll see what happens.  In the words of my friend Original Cindy, "The night holds a million possibilities."  I know I'm pulling for the possibility that I'll actually get to be happy – really and truly happy for the first time in my life.  And I know with Logan I will be.'_

                Pulling the keys from her back pocket, Adriann round the corner of Crash's building into the parking lot.  Quickly scanning for her car, Adriann stopped dead in her tracks.  _'Oh.  My.  God.'_

                A young, exhausted woman was pacing in front of Adriann's car, stopping periodically as though her feet forgot to move.  She was excited and terrified all at the same time; you could see it, even from a distance.  Slowly, Adriann took two silent steps forward.  The woman, she seemed so lost, so uncomfortable in her surroundings, even though she knew them well.  She hadn't slept in weeks – maybe months.  Even _her_ body couldn't take that.  She looked so much older, mainly from the lack of sleep, but she'd been through a lot in the last three years.  To put it bluntly, she looked awful.

                "Maxie?" Adriann whispered, so softly she wasn't sure it came out at all.  The next thing she knew, Adriann was running towards her sister screaming her name. "Max!!!" 

                Max spun on her heal to face the source of the cry, in shock and ready for battle.   She hadn't noticed anyone approach the parking lot.   But, as soon as she recognized the woman running towards her as Adriann, her arms opened wide.  Adriann threw herself into Max's waiting arms, hardly believing that this was really happening.  She had all but given up hope of ever seeing her sister again.  But this time it was real.  Max was back.

                "Max?" Adriann breathed, pulling back to look her sister in the face.

                "Hey." Max whispered, her emotion showing despite her efforts to hide it.

                "You're back.  You're really back."

                Max nodded silently, her eyes falling to the ground.  Adriann carefully watched her sister, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

                "Well, you don't actually think you're gonna get out of telling me every last detail of the last three years do you?" Adriann quipped, trying to ease some the tension within Max.

                "Well…" Max said, with a smile breaking through, "…I was hoping."

                "Okay…you don't have to tell me everything, but you are telling me something.  Come on, we'll sit down in Crash and talk for a little while and you can get reacquainted with our favorite neighborhood dive." Adriann looped her arm around Max's and gently lead her towards the entrance.  _'That should give me enough time to figure out what I'm gonna do about Logan.'_

*-*

                "Once I found a cure for the virus that actually last more than a few hours or days, I had been gone so long…I was scared to come back.  Scared that things had changed too much, and all I would do is cause more pain by coming back.  And that's the last thing I wanted."  Max  explained, finishing off her beer. 

                "So what made you come back?" Adriann asked, leaning forward on her forearms.

                "I wanted to come home." Max said, looking straight into her eyes for the first time since she sat down.

                "I'm glad you decided to come home.  We've all missed you.  I can't tell you how many times I wished that I had my sister here to talk to.  Or wished that I had just come home that night, so I would have had the chance to make things different." 

                "Yeah, about that – I'm sorry…"

                "Max, it's in the past.  It's over.  Don't worry about.  You're back home, that's all that matters now." Adriann smiled.

                "I am." Max sighed with a smile, and settled back into her chair.  "So what's everyone been up to?"

                "Normal's annoying as ever – oh yeah I've been holding your place at Jam Pony.  So the job's still yours if you want it back."

                "What else do I have to do?" Max rolled her eyes.

                "But I'm assuming that by everybody, you meant Logan." 

                Max smiled slightly, looking up from her drink, at how well her sister knew her – even after all this time.  "Maybe."

                "Uh-huh." Adriann said, raising her eyebrows, not buying it.

                "He's doing good, Maxie." She said, her voice softening.  "He still misses you, even if he doesn't always show it."

                "When I…"

                "It was hard on him for a while, I hadn't seen him like that since the day we met.  And at least he was showering then.  I practically had to drag him in the shower.  It wasn't pretty." Adriann finished, trying to lighten the blow she had just thrown at Max.

                _'Oh…wow…that does not sound right considering recent developments.  Drag him in the shower…Dre…watch yourself.'_

                "I never meant to…" Max began.

                "I know.  And so does he.  But it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt.  But Logan's doing really well now.  Promise." She ensured.  "Umm, what else." Adriann looked up and gnawed on her bottom lip as she thought.  _'I made out with your boyfriend and we have a date tonight.  That's something new, but probably not what you want to hear.  And you won't want to hear that I have to find a way to sneak away and warn Logan that plans have changed.  How I'm gonna do that is….Alec!  You have perfect timing.'  _

"Oh!  You aren't going to believe how much Alec has grown up.  He's actually a civil human being now.  You might even _like_ him." Adriann told her, watching Alec and Cindy walk towards the table over Max's shoulder.

                "I don't know that I'd go that far." Max scoffed.

                "You never know.  Well speak of the devil." Adriann smirked, as she watched Alec and Cindy walk through the door.  

                "Dre?  What are you doing here?  You were supposed to leave for-" Alec began, but was cut off by a glare from Adriann and an excited cry from Original Cindy.

                "Boo!!!" Cindy squealed, throwing her arms around Max's shoulders.

                "O.C.!" Max said, happily and hugged her back.

                "Max?! Hey, where've you been?" Alec asked, hugging his sister.

                "Hi Alec." Max smiled, but quickly returned her attention to Original Cindy, who was talking a mile a minute.

                "Dre?" Alec whispered, his tone speaking volumes.

                "I've got to go do…something." She muttered.

                "Are you okay?" He asked, moving behind her chair to whisper in her ear.  He could only imagine the thoughts racing through her head.

                "I'm fine." Adrian lied, looking away from her brother knowing her eyes would give her away.  "I'll be right back.  I've got a quick errand to run, but I'll be back in a few." She said loud enough for the whole table to hear.

                "Okay." Max smiled, happy to be around her friends again.

                Quietly, Adriann slipped out the back door and walked to her car, dreading the next few moments.

*-*

                _'Okay Dre…you can do this.  You have to do this.'_  Adriann was pulled back into reality by the bell ringing as the elevator doors opened to the Penthouse.  _'Here we go.  Just don't let him see you cry.  He'll know something's up if you cry.  Better yet, just don't cry…you'll never stop if you do.  And right now, I don't have time for that.'_

                As she opened the door Adriann was hit with the scent of roses and the Cale Family Recipe Chicken.  The entire apartment was lit up by hundreds of candles, the soft glow of the dancing flames brought a warm feel to the room.  In addition to the random bouquets of roses set in vases around the  penthouse, there was a trail of rose petals from the door to living room and to the dinning room.  Rose petals were strewn about the table as well.  

                _'Oh my God.  It's sooo beautiful.  It's almost like a dream.  He really put a lot of effort into this.  I wish that…no…do not go there Dre.  Not if you want to get through this in one piece and still be able to look at yourself in the mirror.' _ Adriann stood facing the dinning room, taking in her surroundings, memorizing every last detail.

                "Hey.  You're early." Logan whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.  

                "Yeah, I guess I am."  She said, relaxing in his arms for a moment.  "Logan,"

                "Uh-oh.  Nothing good ever starts with that tone." Logan stepped around to face her.  "What's wrong?"  He asked, clearly concerned.

                "Everything is absolutely beautiful, dinner smells wonderful,  you look….fantastic, which makes me hate to do this even more than I already do." Adriann trailed off.

                "What is it Dre?" Logan said, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

                "I think we're going to need to reschedule our evening." She said, taking a deep breath and forcing herself to look him in the eye.  "There's someone who really needs to see you."

                "Can't they wait?" Logan asked, his eyes showing his disappointment she knew he was trying to hide.

                "I wouldn't do this if they could.  I'm so sorry.  You put so much effort into all of this." Adriann apologized.

                "I know.  You wanted this as much as I did, but good things to come to those who wait, right ?" Logan said, trying to console her.

                "That's what I've heard." 

                _'Though it's not what I've learned through experience.'_

                "We can do this another time.  What matters is we know how we feel about each other." Logan pulled Adriann to his chest and rested his cheek on the top of her head.  "We've got all the time in the world for candle light dinners and rose petals." He whispered.

                _'Logan, stop being you!  You're making it a lot harder to go through with.  God you smell good.  Can't you just be a jerk or something…that would make it so much easier.'_

                "You okay?" Logan asked, pulling back slightly.

                "Yeah.  I'm fine.  Just a little disappointed is all." Adriann told him, as tears shown in her eyes.  "But – umm…I've got to go pick…them…up.  So, I'll see you in a few.  And you might want to clean up as much of this as possible.  Don't want to make them feel uncomfortable or guilty for obviously getting in the way of your plans."  Adriann said, switching into her soldier mode as much as she could, pushing her emotions to the side.

                "Yeah, you're right." Logan nodded.  
                "I should be back in about 15 minutes." Adriann informed, looking up at him, unable to move from his arms or look him in the eye.

                "Dre?" 

                "Yeah?" 

                Logan slowly leaned forward, and placed a soft and infinitely perfect kiss on Adriann's lips.  In the moments that passed during the kiss, Adriann's heart began to break and a tear slid down her cheek.  She never wanted to leave this – to leave him…to lose him.  He was everything she would ever want.

                "I love you." He told her, holding her face in his hands.

                _'Oh God, Logan don't say that.  Not now.  Please don't say that…but most of all…don't mean it.  Not with what I have to do.'_

                "I'll see you soon." Adriann spun around and hurried through the door and down to the lobby. 

*-*

                Adriann walked into Crash, cutting through the growing crowd with ease.  Max, Cindy, and Alec were exactly where she had left them, only with a small crowd gathered around the table saying their hellos and welcome backs to Max.

                Seeing her walk into the bar, Alec broke away from the group to meet her a few feet from the table.

                "Hey.  How you holding up?" Alec asked, laying his hand on her arm.

                "Alec, I'm fine.  I told you I was fine." Adriann told him, plastering a fake smile on her face.

                "Yeah, you told me.  But that doesn't mean that I believe you."  

                "I'm fine Alec.  I don't have any other choice than to be fine." Adriann told him, looking him straight in the eye, praying that her emotions wouldn't show.  She hadn't been the soldier with a number for a name in so long, that Adriann was out of practice when it came to hiding everything that made her human.  She usually considered that a good thing. 

                "Okay, you're fine.  So what are you gonna do?" Alec asked, finally seeing the pain in his sisters eyes that he knew was there.

                "The same thing I always do, Alec.  Whatever I have to so my family's happy.  I'm bringing Max to Logan." She said flatly.

                "When?" Alec asked, his mind reeling.

                "Now." Stepping past Alec, Adriann took the last steps to the table.  "Hey Maxie?" 

                "Yea?" Max said, looking up from her conversation with Sketchy and Original Cindy about Normal's never ending abrasive nature.

                "You think I could steal you for a while?" Adriann asked, in feigned cheer.

                "Yeah.  Sure." Max replied, sensing where her sister was headed with this.  

                "Wait.  I just get my Boo back and you're already stealing her away from me?" Cindy asked, pretending to be hurt.  But she knew as well as anyone at the table, that Adriann was taking Max to see Logan.

                "Only for a little while Cindy.  I promise she'll be home by curfew." She smiled.

                "Aiight.  Be good Boo." Original Cindy smiled, watching her two friends walk out of the building.  Turning in her seat to face Alec, Cindy's smile quickly faded.  "What's my Lil' Boo gonna do?"

                "Something only Adriann would." He sighed, slowly sitting down on the stool beside her.

*-*

                "I don't think I can do this, Dre." Max said quietly, as she stared at the penthouse door.

                "Would you rather him find out that you're back from someone else and wonder why you haven't come to see him yet?" Adriann asked, as she put her hand on the door handle.  "Because he will find out sooner or later, and I'm not going to lie to him for you."

                "I know.  But, it's been so long." She muttered, still frozen in place.

                "Max, I think you at least owe him this." Adriann's eyes locked onto her sister's as she turned the handle and gently swung the door open.  "After you." Adriann said, fluidly sweeping her arm in front of her body.

                Slowly, Max began to walk through the door frame, knowing Adriann was right.  She owed Logan a 'hello' at the least.

                _'Well Dre, you've just crossed the point of no return.  I hope you're ready for this.'_

                All the memories of the last time she was in the penthouse flooded Max's memory as she entered the living room.  It was nearly identical to the way she remembered it, only now there were touches of Dre in the decorating, art, and music.  The faint smell of a Cale Family recipe hung in the air, and the usual sound of Logan's fingers flying across the keyboard floated from his office.  Max smile at the comfort and familiarity of it all.  Now she really felt as though she were home.

                "Dre, that you?" Logan called, pushing his chair away from his desk and walking out to greet her and whomever it was who needed his help.  

                Max froze at the sound of Logan's voice, she'd almost forgot what it sounded like.  Coming around the corner to see who had just come in the door, Logan stopped in mid-step as he came face to face with Max.

                Adriann watch from the hall as Logan's face went from surprise after nearly colliding with someone to disbelief that Max, his Max was back and actually standing in front of him.

                "Max?" Logan croaked, his mouth suddenly dry.

                "Hi." Max whispered, tears glistening in her eyes, hardly believing that it was really him.

                "What…..where….why…." Logan stuttered, as tears filled his eyes.

                "I'm sorry." 

                "Can we?" Logan whispered, never taking her eyes from hers.

                "Yeah." She nodded, tears spilling over onto her cheeks.

                Not wanting to see what happened next, Adriann closed her eyes and silently walked to her room knowing that neither of them would notice.  All they could see was each other.  _'It's supposed to be this way.  You knew all along that he'd never love anyone the way he loves Max.  You're doing the right thing Dre, remember that.'_  Picking up her messengers bag, Adriann quickly began to pack her most needed possessions, and nothing more.  _'I think that's everything.'_  Scanning the room quickly for anything she may have forgotten, her eyes stopped on her wall covered with pictures.  Reaching over she pulled one from the center and put it in her jacket pocket, and headed for the door.  Cutting through the kitchen to avoid the living room and the majority of the hall, Adriann slipped out unnoticed.

                Pausing with her palm on the door, Adriann took a deep steadying breath. 

                "I love you, Logan Cale." She whispered, as the elevator doors opened behind her.  Turning rigidly and walking into the elevator, Adriann said her final goodbyes as the doors closed off her vision of the penthouse for the final time.

*-*

**You're so tired of the straight line,**

**And everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back.**

**The storm keeps on twistin',**

**You keep on building the lies that you make up for all that you lack.**

**It don't make no difference, escaping one last time.**

**It's easier to believe, in this sweet madness,**

**Oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees.**

*-*

                Alec opened his apartment door to find Adriann down on one knee with a lock pick.

                "I thought I heard you picking the lock.  You know you have a key, you should try using it sometime." He smiled, offering her a hand up.

                "Whatever." Adriann grunted, getting up o her own and walking through the door.

                "Hey?  Dre, what happened?" Alec called, following her to the back room where she had already sat down in the window seat.

                "I'm sure you can guess." She replied, looking out the window.

                "Okay…" Alec sighed, and sat down on an old stool nearby.  "Can I get you anything, help…maybe?"

                "No."

                "Alright."

                "I went to the Space Needle for a while.  Tried to make some sense of what was going on in my head, figure out what I was gonna do.  But for some reason, I didn't find the solace there that I usually do.  All I found was the cold, brutal wind and some new graffiti.  So, I got back in my car and came here.  I didn't know where else to go.  This is the only place that's actually a refuge for me now.  Everywhere else and everyone else, they were all Max's first.  Cindy, Jam Pony, Crash, The Space Needle, Logan…everywhere that I would run to…" Adriann explained, still looking out the window.  

                "I'm glad you came here.  I was worried about you." Alec said, laying his hand on hers.

                "When I was up on the Needle, I found myself wishing that Max had never come back.  But, what kind of person wishes for that?  I missed her as much as anyone, and I wanted her to come home for so long.  But I never thought of…of the aftershock." Adriann admitted, looking at Alec.  Her face was completely blank -  free from any kind of emotion.  Her eyes would look dead if not for the unbearable sorrow at their core.  Alec had never seen anyone like this, let alone his sister.  Adriann was always the one who wore her heart on her sleeve.  Seeing her without any emotion at all, scared him to death.

                "Dre, I don't know what happened or how you feel and I'm not going to pretend I do, but I'm here if you need me." 

                "I feel so numb.  Alec, I can't even cry." She said, with the first sign of emotion since she'd come in.  "I wouldn't let myself before, it would have just gotten in the way, but now that I want to I can't."

                "What happened Dre?" Alec pressed.  "Talk to me, please."

*-*

**In the arms of the angel**

**Fly away from here**

**From this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you feel**

**You are pulled from your wreckage of your silent reverie**

**You're in the arms of the angel,**

**May you find some comfort here.**

*-*

"God, Alec, I never meant for this to happen.  I didn't plan it.  The thought never crossed my mind until…I mean…" Adriann turned her face back towards the window looking at Alec's reflection in it.  "Logan and Max had been that sort of constant, you know?  Sure, there were times when one or both of them was being unbelievably stubborn, but that connection between them was always there.  I did everything in my power to protect that.  The possibility that one of us could find love, stability, a sense of safety and trust in someone's arms was so unimaginable that I couldn't risk losing it – even if it wasn't mine.  I fought my way out of the shadows to get to Max, and I risked my life to save that relationship and protect it from it's biggest  threat - Manticore.  Then all of a sudden, everything got so messed up, the world turned upside down.  That one constant of Max and Logan was…gone.  Max gave up.  That was something I never expected and I never saw coming.  So there I was, left to pick up the pieces of my best friend's broken heart.  He looked so lost, and I didn't have the first idea of what to say to him to make it better and take away the pain.  And of course, while all this was going on I had issues of my own to deal with, but staying true to character, I put me on the back burner to take care of Logan.  But somewhere between then and now…I did the one thing I never thought I would do.  I…I…I fell in love him Alec." Adriann said blankly, wishing that she could get the weight she felt off her chest.

"I didn't expect to.  I didn't ask to.  I didn't want to.  It would only complicate things, and you know how much I hate complications." She sighed, turning back towards her brother.  "But it happened, and I was helpless to do anything about it.  And just maybe, he really and truly started to fall for me too.  Because he kissed me.  He filled the penthouse with hundreds of candles and rose petals and he cooked me dinner and asked me out on a formal date.  And I admit it…I loved every minute of it.  I loved the way he looked me, I loved the attention he gave me, I loved…being…_his_."

"But none of that matters now.  My feelings don't matter now, because Max is back.  The woman who had always been the center of Logan's world has returned to it.  So I'm taking my cue, and I'm taking a step back and I'm walking away.  I'm leaving it all behind; my family, my friends, my home, my first chance at true happiness.  I'm doing the only thing that I can, what's right, no matter how much hurts." Something inside Adriann finally broke, letting a tear roll down her cheek.  "I'm giving Max back what really is hers and always has been.  Logan's heart was never mine to take."

"So what now?" Alec asked, wiping the tear from his sisters face, happy that she could finally cry.

"I don't know, and I don't really care.  I just want…to go" Adriann looked up at her brother through her tears.  "Everything here reminds me of something that makes me want to cry.  And I will not walk around like a blubbering idiot.  I won't.  Zack was right you know…emotions are weakness.  And up until now, they have always been my greatest strength.  So what do you do when your strengths are your weakness and your weaknesses are your strengths?  What do you do when something inside you dies?  What do you do?  What do you do?" She asked, breaking down in Alec's arms.

"I don't know Dre.  I wish I did." Alec whispered, rocking his broken sister in his arms.  He had never seen her like this and it broke his heart.  She had always been the strong one, his pillar of strength.  She had always been the one that people turned to when they need a shoulder to cry on, advice, or someone to talk to.  She always knew what to do, what to say, how to fix things.  And now, she was the one who needed someone to come and pick up the pieces and help put them back together, and Alec couldn't help wondering if he could even come close to being the comfort she had always been for him.

"You're gonna be okay Dre.  I promise, you'll be okay." 

"I always have been before, so why should this time be any different?  I just can't stay here and watch them…I can't…it hurts too much.  To know that I came so close to actually being happy, and have it ripped away…"

"I'm gonna miss you little one." Alec said, pulling her into a hug.

"I love you, Alec.  You're the best brother I could ever ask for." Adriann whispered into his neck.

"Be careful out there.  Keep your barcode covered." He reminded, brushing his fingers over the back of her neck.

"You too.  Goodbye Alec."  Adriann kissed her brother on the cheek.

"What do I tell Logan and Max when they ask about you?"  Alec called, as she walked away with nothing but a duffel bag on her shoulder.  "Cause they will ask you know."

"I dunno.  Come up with something - use your imagination.  Say I went on a road trip or something."  She answered, waving one last time, as a tear rolled down her cheek.  Adriann wasn't just saying  goodbye to her brother, or sister, or best friend.  She was saying goodbye to the only home she had ever known, and the only place she was ever truly happy.

**You're in the arms of the angel.**

**May you find some comfort here.**

~Well there you go, I hope it was worth the wait…let me know if it was.  Remember to review and all that jazz…  
And thank you Sarah McLachlan for writing such a great song.


End file.
